God’s word says, “Anyone can use his words and actions to represent his true self. This true self is, of course, man’s nature. If you are a person who is very crooked in speaking, your nature is crooked. If your nature is very crafty, you will do things very smoothly and cause others to be easily duped and deceived. …” About this passage of God’s word, I did not have any knowledge before. Later, through God’s exposing, I saw that I was by nature a very crafty person.
Once, God’s family assigned me to go to care for the new believers. At this, I was very unwilling in my heart: Caring for the new believers requires traveling a lot and long distances, which will cause my flesh to suffer too much. I won’t do it. But then I thought, “If I directly say I won’t go, I am refusing the commission and rebelling against God.” So, I said in a roundabout way, “If there is a young brother or sister available, it’s better to use them. That will not only train them but do good to the work of God’s family. I have a favorable environment, and I can perform some other duty. Anyway, do what you think proper. I’m fine with any duty.” The sister was deceived by my words. She said, “Then you may perform some other duty. No matter what work we do, as long as we face God and have a right intent, God will approve us.” When I heard that, I felt pleased inwardly. But after I got back home, I was sharply rebuked in my heart and just could not calm down. So I came before God to seek. I read God’s words: “Anyone can use his words and actions to represent his true self. This true self is, of course, man’s nature. If you are a person who is very crooked in speaking, your nature is crooked. If your nature is very crafty, you will do things very smoothly and cause others to be easily duped and deceived. …” Facing God’s words of judgment and comparing them with my behavior, I couldn’t help asking myself: Am I not a crooked and crafty person through and through? Can I bring before God my doing that? Was my intent right? In order to satisfy my fleshly interests, I deceived the sister with fine words and refused the arrangement of God’s family in a roundabout way. Outwardly, I said that it was to train a young person for God’s family and was beneficial to the work of God’s family, but actually I made an excuse for my craving ease. I was really crafty and contemptible to the extreme! O God, now I have clearly seen my true self and ugly features. I really hate myself! O God, I am willing to repent and reform myself. Whatever I do in the future, I will seriously bring it before you and accept your searching, and pursue to be an honest person to comfort your heart.
Zibo City, Shandong Province