I Was Not a Person Who Performed His Duty Faithfully
I perform the duty of handling the general affairs in a working area. Every time I arranged the receiving and sending of goods, I tried my best to have the goods received or sent to the designated place with safety guaranteed. So I thought that I was quite faithful in my duty. Later, in God’s exposing, I realized that I was not a person who performed his duty faithfully.
One day, when our leader was having a meeting with us, a sister responsible for the general affairs in a small district called me, saying that a CD player did not work and she wanted to come over and exchange it for another one. After hearing that, I said without thinking, “Then bring it here.” When I hung up, the leader said to me, “What a waste of money it is to make a trip only for exchanging a CD player. Isn’t it all right to let her bring it here when she comes over to fetch something? We should be faithful to God in performing our duty, and cannot spend money unnecessarily.” When I heard that, I immediately had resistance in my heart: It is nothing but spending a little more money for a trip. Can this mean that I perform my duty unfaithfully? It is to handle an affair of God’s family, not my private business. Bother it! Just in this way, the more I thought, the more I grew angry and the more I felt wronged. I was even in no mood to listen to the fellowship. Seeing that my state was wrong, the leader asked me what I was thinking. Then I told her my thought. In light of my state, the leader opened The Summary of Christ’s Preachings and Conversations and read these words in the Fellowship of the Man attached: “He who performs his duty faithfully does things attentively and seriously. In doing everything, he rakes his brain and expends time and effort to study and consider it. He does the work of God’s family as his own business. He does not have the heart to be slipshod and does not want God’s family to suffer loss. He has a conscience….” Hearing these words, I felt ashamed of myself. Only then did I know that he who performs his duty faithfully does the work of God’s family with a sense of responsibility as the master, making careful plans and calculations as if he were doing the business of his own family. In retrospect, since I performed the duty of handling the general affairs, there had been very many times when something involved the spending of the money of God’s family, and so many times I had done such a thing as what I did today. I always thought that as long as I did things for God’s family, it didn’t matter how much money was spent. I never pondered attentively how I could perform my duty properly as well as save money for God’s family. I always acted however I liked and never considered the interests of God’s family. Such a person as me was simply a wastrel in God’s family. God’s family trusted me and gave me such an important commission, but I did not sincerely expend for God to repay God’s love and did not at all take God’s family as my own family. As I spent money lavishly in performing my duty, I had wasted so much money of God’s family. I was really too conscienceless and my heart was really too black, too bad! Thinking of this, I could not help shedding tears of repentance and self-reproach: O God, thank you for arranging the circumstances to make me realize that I was not a person who was truly faithful in his duty. According to what I did, I am really unworthy to receive your commission, and do not deserve to be called a member of your family. O God, I am willing to turn back to you immediately and do the commission you give to me as my own business. In performing my duty, I will not only pursue to achieve the best results, but I will also learn to make careful calculations, not squandering or misusing a penny. I will consider the interests of your family in everything, expend for you by attaching my heart to your heart, and be a faithful manager in your family to put you at ease and satisfy you.
Anshan City, Liaoning Province