One day, a work arrangement from above came. When I read “The institution of the working-area leaders must be abolished at once,” I thought: Now my “position” will be abolished and I will be removed from it. If I have no position, then do I still have enthusiasm to do the work? Thus, I no longer had the heart to perform my duty nor did I want to go to the churches; I cast the gospel work behind me and only waited for the leader to come back to announce what I would do…. Just like that, my spirit became increasingly darkened. I also felt my state was wrong, but I could not forsake it no matter how I tried. I always lived in these thoughts and ideas and could not extricate myself from them.
Having no choice, I had to kneel down before God and prayed to him: “O God! Now I know I ought to care for your burden, but I cannot forsake myself despite my effort. I don’t want to go on like this. May you inspire and guide me with your word. I am willing to turn back to you.”
After the prayer, I opened the book of God’s word, and I read these words: “Peter … said: ‘No matter when, I must satisfy God’s heart. I only wish that what I do would satisfy God’s heart. …’ He gave his everything to God. He worked, spoke, and lived all his life for loving God. … Therefore, pursuing to initiatively perform the duty of a created being is the path to success, pursuing to truly love God is the most right path, and pursuing to have one’s old nature transformed and to love God purely is the path to success. The path to success I am speaking of is a path of being recovered to the original duty and original likeness of a created being. It is a path of recovery and is the purpose of all the work God has been doing from beginning to end.”
God’s words woke me up somewhat. I saw that everything Peter did was for loving God and he lived for God; regardless of when, all that he did was only to satisfy God’s heart and initiatively perform his duty as a created being.
Then I examined myself. Since I heard that God’s family was about to adjust the administrative structure and saw that I would soon lose my position, I had no heart to perform my duty; I cast God’s commission behind me, and I even wanted to stop the work, only waiting for the leader to come to reassign me. Have I ever done anything for loving and satisfying God? Am I performing the duty of a created being? If I were really performing the duty of a created being before God, then no matter what God’s family asked me to do, I should fulfill my responsibility as a created being before the Creator, should simply obey God and submit to God’s arrangements, and should not act in a way that when I had a position I could expend myself for God but lost my enthusiasm when I lost my position. If I were really performing the duty of a created being before God, no matter whether I had a position or not, I could work and live for loving and satisfying God, and as long as God’s family uses me for one day, I would be responsible for God’s work for one day. The purpose of God’s six-thousand-year work is to restore the original duty and likeness of a created being. However, even today I have not yet stepped onto the path of being restored by God, and I still could not work and live for loving and satisfying God. Instead, like Paul, I was full of mixtures and bargains within, and I was still walking along the path of the failures.
O God, Thank you for exposing me through the adjustment of the administrative structure that my many years of expending are still for position and that I still do not have the original likeness of a created being. At the same time, inspired by your words, I have understood that from beginning to end the purpose of your work is to restore the original duty of created beings. I am willing to correct my viewpoint of pursuit, let your work of restoration be carried out on me, and be simply submissive before you. No matter when and where, I will initiatively perform my duty as a created being, do my utmost to pursue the truth and the transformation of my nature, take loving you and satisfying you as the goal of my belief in you, and imitate Peter to step onto the successful path of believing in God, so as to be purified and gained by you.
Having understood God’s intention, I felt especially bright in my spirit and had the goal to pursue and the way to practice. Then, I immediately put my whole body and mind into the work again.
Yingkou City, Liaoning Province