I Was So Arrogant That I Lost My Reason
When God’s family assigned me to be the leader of an article-revising team, I made a resolution in secret: Now that God’s family uplifts me so, I will cooperate with God with all my heart and strength to perform my duty well. However, when seeing that batches of the articles handed in were always of poor quality, I thought: Since God’s family has committed this work to me, it is my duty to improve the quality of the articles. Thus, we began to put effort into writing comments on the articles of the brothers and sisters. Nevertheless, the quality of the articles handed in thereafter was not only unimproved, but we could hardly choose any that was worth revising. For this, I felt very distressed, and I began to rack my brains to find a method to resolve the problem. At that time, it happened that the leader came to have a meeting with us. After she inquired about the work and my state of that period, she said to me: “Since you have so great difficulty in the work, you should have reported it promptly, so that we can resolve it together by relying on God….” At her words, outwardly I nodded and said yes, but inwardly I still thought: Since God’s family has entrusted this work to me, is there the need for you to bother? Besides, what’s the use of telling you about it? Though you’re a leader, you do not necessarily match us in revising the communication articles on life experience.
One day, in the newly distributed work arrangement, “The Reason People Should at Least Possess in Serving God,” I read these words: “If one who does the work of God’s family, … and when encountering important matters or difficulties, does not report them to the higher-ups, but handles them in whatever way he likes, completely regards the work of God’s family as his private property, as if he were managing his own household affairs, and would rather hinder the work of God’s family than submit a report and ask for instructions, then he is a person who does not have the least reason. … Do you think such an important work of God’s family is your personal work? Is it really directly committed to you by God? I find that people’s understanding about God’s commission is too erroneous and they have not touched God’s intention at all. … One discovers problems or encounters difficulties but doesn’t promptly report them to the higher-ups to seek the resolutions; who has empowered him to do so? … As he works and performs his duty this way, how can he not hinder God’s will from being carried out? Only those who are arrogant, self-conceited, self-important, and self-right will do such foolish things….”
Aren’t these words exactly directed at me? Only then did I realize that I was actually a person who was too arrogant to have any reason and that my understanding about the commission of God’s family was too absurd. After I became the leader of the article-revising team, I always thought that since God’s family had assigned me to perform this duty, it meant that God’s family had committed this work to me and I had the right to decide anything concerning it, and when encountering difficulties, I should try to resolve them by myself and needn’t bother the leader with them. I completely regarded the work of God’s family as my private property and as my “duty.” Especially when the leader fellowshipped with me that I should give a prompt report once I discovered any problems or difficulties in the work, I still said “yes” but meant “no” and was unwilling to accept it; I thought that though she was a leader, she was not necessarily better than us in the work of revising the communication articles on life experience. Weren’t these actions and thoughts of mine exactly the expressions of the archangel? God’s family sets up the leaders of various levels in order to better cooperate with God’s work and help God’s will to be carried out. The work arrangement requires us to accept the leaders’ supervision in performing our duties and promptly report to them the problems, loopholes, and errors in our work. If at that time I had reported to my leader the difficulty in my work without delay, the leader, after knowing the deviation, could have timely fellowshipped about God’s intention with the brothers and sisters and motivated them to write articles, so that the work of writing the communication articles on life experience could run normally. However, when I saw there was not any quality improvement in the batches of articles, I did not report it to the leader and ask for instructions, but on the contrary, I thought that I myself was able to undertake the work independently and did not need any help from others. As a result, the work of writing the communication articles in our district nearly came to a paralyzed and standstill state.
O God! Thank you for stopping my evil conduct timely through the work arrangement; otherwise, I would still regard the work of God’s family as my private property and engage in my own business. I am willing to correct my error and immediately turn back to you. I will do my utmost to pursue the truth and forsake my arrogant nature, perform my duty honestly and properly, accept the searching of your Spirit and the supervision and guidance of the leader. When I discover any problems or encounter any difficulties, I will report them to the leader and ask for instructions, and pursue to be a reason and decent person to perform my duty well.
Liaoyang City, Liaoning Province