Once at a meeting, I read these words of God: “All that I do on the group of people of the end time is an unprecedented project. Therefore, for my glory to be manifested throughout the expanse, all people are to undergo ‘suffering’ for me for the last time. Understand my intention? This is the last requirement I make of man. That is to say, I hope that all people can bear for me a strong and resounding testimony before the great red dragon, offering themselves up for me for the last time and satisfying my requirement for the last time. Can you really do that? In the past, you could not satisfy my heart; at the last time, can you ‘go off the beaten track’?” At that moment, in my mind suddenly flashed a thought: God said so many “the last times,” and these words were spoken long ago. How come they have not been fulfilled till now? How come now it is still “the last time”? When will “the last time” be over? Is it just a means God takes to make people expend for him that God speaks these words?
After I got home, this notion made my heart unable to be quiet for a long while. Just when I was upset, God’s word rang in my ears: “The reason why my work lasts for so long is that your nature is too unshakeable.” The inspiration of God’s word caused the knot in my heart to be untied easily. All at once my heart was filled with self-reproach, indebtedness, and shame. I saw that I was so ugly. I could not but come before God and pray to him: O God, it is all because our disobedience is too deep and our inherent nature too immovable that your work lasts so long. To save us, you have endured extremely great humiliations and sufferings and have come to the world and been working personally for so many years, willing to expend all your energies and pay any price. To save me, you bestow mercy and tolerance on me time after time and give me the opportunity to prepare good deeds time after time. Your purpose is to make me complete resolutely. But now, what your sincere price is repaid with is actually my suspicion and misunderstanding about your words. I not only didn’t see that, just because our inherent nature is too immovable and our disobedience too deep-rooted, so great a hindrance has been caused to your work, but I had a heart of doubting your words and thought you spoke the words as a means. Consequently, I lost the will to cooperate with you and lost my faith to seek the truth. With such conscience and sense, how could I be worthy to receive your mercy and care time after time? O God, if it were not for your inspiration and guidance, I would still live in my notions and resist you. Such an ungrateful person as me only deserves your curse! O God, I can’t misunderstand your intention anymore. From now on, I will try to deeply understand your kind intention in your word, and cooperate with you actively and initiatively, so that your word can soon be lived out of me and your long-grieved heart can receive some comfort.
Taiyuan City, Shanxi Province