I have been coordinating with a brother for more than half a year. His “neglect of the trifles” left on me a bad impression, so I always had some prejudices against him. With the barriers between me and him, I was always unwilling to fellowship with him together. Sometimes he wanted to open his heart and have a talk with me, but I always tried to avoid it. I thought, “A bad impression, since formed, can’t be changed easily. It will take time for me to get along with you.” So I never tried to know myself in this matter, but I regarded this impression of him as very important.
One day, I read in the man’s fellowship these words: “He always talks about his impressions of others; is there any truth in this? Are his impressions so important? Can they represent God’s nature? Whether his impressions are right or wrong, he, a worker, is devoid of sense to talk about such things. It shows that his nature is arrogant, self-right, self-important, and self-correct. Isn’t this an expression of his nature of resisting God, disobeying God, and not loving the truth?”
This passage woke me up all at once. Yes! What has my impression of the brother brought me? Because of the impression, I was not willing to coordinate with him and was not submissive to the circumstances God has arranged for me, always hoping that some day God’s family would separate us from each other. Isn’t this an expression of my resisting God and disobeying God? Because of the impression, I was cold toward the brother and kept a distance from him, unwilling to open my heart to fellowship with him. I did not help him patiently and did not show him any love, but I always belittled him and made him feel restrained. I was simply so arrogant as to be devoid of sense. Because of the impression, in many things that I could not discern, I was unwilling to drop myself to seek to fellowship with him; as a result, not only has my life been retarded, but the work of God’s family has also suffered loss. I regarded the impression as more important than the truth. Isn’t this precisely a mark of my not loving the truth?
Then I remembered God’s words: “…man lives under the influence of satan’s evil and ugliness and does not grow in a world of truth or grow up in a holy environment, much less live in the light. …” “This is because no one among you is a holy man, but you all without exception are ones corrupted by satan….” God has expressed so many words to expose man’s lowness and ugliness, so that we can know our true self of having been most deeply corrupted by satan. However, I never related God’s words to myself, even less did I know how to treat the brothers and sisters properly. I always believed that my evaluation of the brother was absolutely right, and so I judged him and looked down on him. I regarded myself as very holy and honorable, as if I had grown up in a world of truth. I was really too arrogant and too ignorant of myself!
O God, thank you for your inspiration. It has made me realize that it is an expression of my arrogant, self-right, self-important satanic nature that I have bad impressions of others and thus have prejudices against them. It has also made me realize that I have been so corrupted by satan that I have no likeness of a man. From now on, I will no longer treat others according to my impressions, and no longer let these impressions be obstacles to my life entering. I will take your word as my foundation, deny myself and know myself in your word, and treat the brothers and sisters properly, so as to be a person who has sense and humanity.
Linyi City, Shandong Province