In September 2003, God’s family assigned a sister to stay in my home and asked me to perform duty together with her in coordination. Later, the sister fell into passivity because of the torment of emotion and money, and thereafter she indulged in TV programs. Seeing her thus, I wanted to remind her, asking her not to watch anymore. But then I thought, “She, who performs duty away from home, has a good quality, and understands more truths than I do; I have a poor quality and can’t say anything properly. If I fellowship with her but she turns a deaf ear, how embarrassed I will feel.” Thus, every time the words came to my lips, I checked them.
Once, she was watching TV again. I became worried and then I handed her the book of God’s word. However, she woodenly took it and went on watching TV. At that moment, I really wanted to tell her not to watch anymore. But then I thought: If I ask her not to watch TV, will she think I am stingy with electricity? Besides, she is now in a bad state; what if she goes away with her bag after I say that to her? When the leader comes and finds that my hosting has caused her to go away, how ashamed I will feel! Let her be. I’d better say nothing; I just perform my own duty well. As to whether her duty is performed properly or not, it is her business. Thus, because I cared about my face, every chance to practice the truth I gave up. In the end, the sister was dismissed.
When two other sisters learned about this matter, they both said that I did not practice the truth and did not dare to side with justice. And they found out these words of God for me to read: “Ask yourself, are you a person who cares for God’s burden? Can you practice righteousness for God? Can you stand up and speak for me? Can you practice the truth with immovable confidence? Do you dare to fight against any conduct of satan? Can you expose satan unemotionally for my truth?” “If you know clearly that it is not right but you keep silence at it, you are not a person who practices the truth….”
God’s words rendered me speechless. I am indeed not a person who practices the truth. Because of the need of the work, God’s family assigned the sister and me to perform duty together in coordination. Though God gave me a burden and made me perceive that her state was abnormal, and though I knew clearly that if she watched TV constantly without eating and drinking God’s word, she would become more and more distant from God, yet in order to preserve my face, I did not say anything, even less have any fellowship with her. On the contrary, I adopted a nonchalant attitude toward her and I even thought that it was enough to perform my own duty well and that whether her duty was preformed properly was her business. So, I indifferently watched her state lowering day by day. I was really too selfish and malicious and did not have any love, so that the sister was harmed. If at that time I had not cared about my face and considered my own interests but fellowshipped with her in time or given her even a bit of reminding, she would not have fallen to the point of losing the working of the Holy Spirit and being dismissed. But now it’s too late to save the situation; left in my heart is only regret, remorse, and the condemnation of my conscience…
O God, I will learn lessons from this matter. I do not want to leave behind me any more regret or remorse because of caring about my face. I only desire to perseveringly practice the truth and care for your burden.
Zhumadian City, Henan Province