Although I accepted God’s end-time work, I knew little about God’s nature. I always thought that God was kind and merciful and God’s heart was as broad as the sea and sky, and that no matter what transgressions man committed, as long as he confessed them and repented, God would not remember them.
Once, a sister, because of offending God’s nature, was dismissed and sent home to do self-examination. Later, in my contact with her, I found that she regretted her doings very much, and she said again and again that if God’s family gave her another chance, she would cherish it and try her best to atone for her indebtedness to God. At this time, however, God’s family fellowshipped that this sister was expelled for offending God’s nature seriously. When I heard that, I began to defend her, thinking, “She has realized her offense against God and is willing to repent and reform herself. Won’t it be all right if she makes amend in future? God’s family should not have expelled her.” But then I thought, “God’s family may not know that she is already willing to repent. Someone must have reported her so that she was expelled.” Thus, I felt strong disagreement and dissatisfaction, and I lost my normal relationship with God and lived in a passive and hostile state. I had no choice but to tell my actual state to God and seek his will.
One day, I read God’s words: “Now, does anyone of you still defend him? Saying, ‘God dismissed him only after someone reported him. God knew nothing about him, nor did the top leaders.’ Your view is too erroneous and too absurd! … For example, someone bore resentment against God within, and then he kept venting it by saying any cruel and spiteful words. Isn’t such a person a devil? Afterward, he repented. Some people then said, ‘He is quite pitiful and is repentant. And he said that he was indebted to God and did not know God. He spoke those words and spoke quite clearly. Please forgive him.’ How can he be forgiven so easily? Even a man has dignity, how much more does God! … God’s word counts. God has dignity and has wrath, and he has a righteous nature. It is impossible that God is always nice, as people have imagined, and as long as a person is good to him, he will not look at his past transgressions. This is certainly not so. Could you come to good if you resist God? … God said before that he does not remember man’s transgressions, but he referred to the light ones, which have nothing to do with God’s administrative decrees, which do not offend God’s nature, or which are not blasphemous. If you blaspheme God once, judge God once, or slander God once, this is a permanent blot, which can never be erased. … People always think that God has mercy and love, God is kind, God’s heart is broad, as broad as the sea and sky, and God does not remember man’s transgressions and forgives man’s past transgressions and former misdeeds. What he forgives are the minor misdeeds. As for the serious ones, he cannot possibly let them pass.”
God’s words hit the core of me. I came to understand that God’s nature is not, as I had thought, that no matter what serious transgressions one had committed, as long as he confessed them and repented, God would not remember them. If one offends God’s nature or God’s administrative decrees, directly resists and disobeys God, or commits offenses knowingly, God will not forgive him. This is because God has his dignity. It is impossible that, when someone changes his attitude a little after resisting God and doing evil, God will not look at any of his past transgressions, as people had imagined. If God always showed man love, mercy, forbearance, and patience as he had done in the Age of the Grace, God’s righteous nature could not be expressed, we could not have a heart that reveres and fears God, and God could not do the work of ending the age and rewarding the good and punishing the evil.
I blindly followed God for several years but did not at all know God’s nature. I actually defended the sister, felt disagreement and dissatisfaction with God’s family expelling her, and even resisted God in a passive way. I was really absurd and audacious in the extreme! Today I have lost the presence of God and fallen into darkness; this is nobody’s fault but my own, and it serves me perfectly right. From now on, I will try to know more of God’s nature in God’s word, learn to look at things from God’s side, and walk the path of belief in God with a fearful heart, so as to be in harmony with God soon.
Zhumadian City, Henan Province