For some time, I could easily solve the questions raised by the brothers and sisters. When I fellowshipped with them, the truths I hadn’t understood before suddenly became clear. When reading God’s word, I could constantly receive God’s inspiration and enlightenment. And when doing the work I felt it was easy and pleasant. I knew that all this was the result of the working of the Holy Spirit. I remembered a past fellowship which said that the Holy Spirit worked on a right person, so I thought: Since I have the working of the Holy Spirit, then I must be a right person before God. If I keep having the Holy Spirit’s working, won’t it be sure that I can get God’s approval and finally be perfected by God? Then during the following days I was very much afraid of losing the Holy Spirit’s working. Once I found that I had no obvious inspiration or enlightenment, or that I became darkened within, I didn’t examine myself first but hurriedly came before God to call out to him, to pray time after time, until I received the working of the Holy Spirit. Just like this, I had been pursuing hard to receive the working of the Holy Spirit.
One day, a sister asked me, “What inspiration have you received and what truths have you understood during this period?” I exaltedly told her my gains in every aspect, and I thought I would get her praise. Unexpectedly, she said, “Aren’t you living in self-appreciation? When we have the working of the Holy Spirit, it doesn’t mean that we have some stature or have the reality. If we pay no attention to having our nature transformed, we won’t get God’s approval in the end.” At her word, I gave it no importance and thought that she did not know how to observe my state. So I still went my own way.
Once, during a spiritual devotion I read these words of God: “When the Holy Spirit works, people still have disobedient nature within. They still have what they originally have when the Holy Spirit works. … Most people think that once the Holy Spirit works, people’s states will all be changed, and the things of their essence will be cast off. Such way of knowing is erroneous. When the Holy Spirit works on people, their negative things are still there, and their stature is still that big. But because they have the enlightenment and inspiration of the Holy Spirit, their positive states are more, their conditions within are normal….” “While receiving the working of the Holy Spirit, you should pay more attention to your entering in and see what exactly is the working of Holy Spirit and what is your entering in. Bring the work of the Holy Spirit into your entering in, so that you can have more chances to be perfected by the Holy Spirit and the essence of the Holy Spirit’s work can be wrought on you. …it is awful that you only have the working of the Holy Spirit but don’t have your entering in, and by the day God’s work ends, you will only have labored but gain nothing….”
I repeatedly pondered over those words and compared them with my knowledge. And my heart could not but get a shiver: Actually, the working of the Holy Spirit and one’s life entering are two different things. The working of the Holy Spirit is only the inspiring and enlightening work God does on man for him to understand the truth, but man’s nature is still unchanged. If one doesn’t pursue to enter in on this basis, his nature will not get transformed, and in the end, he will still have labored but gain nothing. But I thought erroneously that one’s nature had got transformed once he had the working of the Holy Spirit, and that he could be perfected as long as he kept the Holy Spirit’s working on him. So I all along laboriously pursued to have the working of the Holy Spirit but didn’t make effort to know myself. I even took my having the working of the Holy Spirit as something to show off. When the sister reminded me, I still indulged in self-admiration. If I go on like this, I will only become more and more arrogant and finally end up like Paul. Then, how can I be perfected by God? I am really absurd and ridiculous! Because of my erroneous knowledge, I almost stepped onto a road of no return. This is indeed “a small discrepancy leads to a great error!”
O God, thank you for your inspiration. It has enabled me to correct my error timely before your work concludes so that I have been kept. O God, I will turn around from my wrong course and no longer be content merely to have the working of the Holy Spirit. I will pay attention to my own entering while having the working of the Holy Spirit, and put your inspiration into my practice. I will pursue the transformation of my nature like Peter and try to step onto the path of being perfected.
Zhengzhou City, Henan Province