In Adversity I Became Passive and Complained Before God’s Word I Rose with Resolution
Once, a brother and I went to preach the gospel to a sister. It happened that she was doing the farm work that day. I, sixty years old, helped her carry bamboo bundles for trellising vegetables all day, and she felt very pleased. In the evening, we talked to her about God’s new work. Upon hearing that, she glared at us and shouted loudly, sending us away. I wanted to explain a little more, but before I could open my mouth she hit me on the head and body with a stick; meanwhile, she shouted abuse and threatened to dial 110 and call the police to arrest us. We could do nothing but leave. But it was already dark, and I could hardly discern the path. I had to walk slowly down the gravel path outside her house, on the arm of the brother. Because the path was rough, we nearly fell into the ditch. At that time, I was overwhelmed with distress and sorrow and could not help bursting into tears. I felt myself aggrieved. My previous resolution disappeared instantly, and my original faith declined enormously. I regretted having come to preach to her and complained that she had no humanity. And inwardly I made a decision that from then on I would not preach the gospel anymore.
After getting back, I tossed and turned in bed with a myriad of thoughts in my mind. The next day, I unconsciously opened the book of God’s word to “As to the Future Mission, How Should You Treat It?” “Do you know the heavy task on your shoulders, your commission, and your responsibility? Where is your sense of historic mission? How are you going to be the master of the next age? Do you have a strong sense of being the master? How do you explain the master of all things? Is it really the master of the living things and of all the material things in the world? What is your plan concerning the carrying out of the next step of work? How many people will there be for you to shepherd? Won’t your task be very heavy? They are poor, pitiful, blind, and at a loss, wailing in darkness: Where is the way? … Have you ever thought how grieved and worried God’s heart is? How could he bear to see the innocent mankind he created with his own hands suffering such torment? … Have you forgotten that you were one of the victims?” After I read this passage, tears blurred my vision. God’s word aroused my heart. Although I had read this piece of God’s word before, I merely skimmed it over and remembered nothing. At this moment, however, my conscience was roused by God’s word: I was once one of the victims. It is God’s uplifting and grace that I can have returned to God’s family. Without the salvation of God incarnate, the people born in the country of the great red dragon would all be the ones to be destroyed. Now God’s work is about to be concluded, and there are still so many souls in darkness wailing in the affliction of satan and so many lost lambs needing us to search for. But I, who have received God’s salvation and enjoyed God’s grace, did not have a burden to care for God and did not have a heart to love souls, and when encountering a frustration I even became passive and complained. I’m really unworthy to inherit God’s blessing…. Today, before God’s word I woke up and saw God’s eager intention to save mankind and God’s anxious expectation of mankind, and even more saw the painstaking effort and the price God expended in the course of saving mankind as well as God’s tolerance and mercy for mankind. I was greatly encouraged. Under the leading of God’s word, I rose with resolution and again went out to preach the gospel.
Lishi City, Shanxi Province