Whenever I saw some brothers and sisters who had thrown up their duties and returned to the world to make money all lived very well, I was perplexed: God said that he would not let off anyone who rebels against him. But to these people who have returned to the world, God hasn’t done anything. It seems that, if I rebel, maybe nothing will happen to me either…. So, whenever I encountered difficulties in performing my duty, I had an idea of rebellion. I knew the idea was wrong, but it was never resolved.
One morning during my spiritual devotions, I read this passage in God’s word: “All those who do not pay attention to the aspect of life but expect God to perform signs and wonders are Pharisees! At that time it was the Pharisees who crucified Jesus. So, since you measure God according to your viewpoint of believing in God, believing in him if his words are fulfilled but doubting him … if his words are not fulfilled, haven’t you crucified God?” God’s words made me wake up suddenly. Actually I had been seeking to see signs and wonders. I thought that those who rebelled against God should be punished right away. When I saw they were not punished but lived very well, I had doubts about God’s word and also wanted to leave God. From this I saw that my belief was not at all built on the word of God, but on signs and wonders. Was I not precisely a Pharisee of the present age who crucified God once again? Then I read on: “When God performs signs and wonders, it will be the time God punishes people, the time God changes the age, and even more the time God ends the age. When God’s work is carried out normally, he does not perform signs and wonders. It is a very easy thing to perform signs and wonders, but it is not God’s principle of working and is not God’s purpose of managing man. If people all saw signs and wonders and God’s spiritual body appeared to them, wouldn’t they all ‘believe’? … If he said that he would perfect people by his word, but he performed signs and wonders, could people be revealed as to whether they truly believe? So God does not work that way.” Now, the knot long hidden in my heart was untied at last. Today God does not immediately punish those who rebel against him; God does so in order to better reveal people, perfect people, and eliminate people, and also to reveal who truly believe and who falsely believe, for what God is doing now is mainly the work of perfecting people with the word. If those who have rebelled against God were punished right away as I thought, then no one would dare to rebel. Then how could the good and the evil be separated? I saw that God’s work is so wise and so wonderful. Today, through the inspiration of God’s words, I have understood that it is not that God will not punish those who have rebelled against God, but that God has his time. When God’s day comes, God will surely repay them according to their actions and behavior. If I continue to follow doubtfully and half-heartedly, in the end I will not be able to escape the punishment of God’s hand, either. Having thought of this, I felt that I was really in a great danger. I even dared to test God’s nature and wanted to leave God. If it were not in the period in which God works in the flesh, I would have early been struck down.
O God! From now on, I will equip myself with more truths concerning the vision and pursue to be one who has knowledge of your work. However you work, I will firmly believe in your substance, believing that your word is the truth, the way, and the life. Your doings, however much they do not fit my notions, are truth, and I, a created being, should obey and accept them unconditionally and unselectively, and follow you right to the end.
Dalian City, Liaoning Province