It Was Really Too Arrogant of Me to Judge Others at Will
I am a small-district assistant. Recently, one of the church leaders often lived in her emotion and could not come out of it, so I found out God’s words to fellowship with her. But no matter how I fellowshipped, she did not turn around. Then I got angry: How come you are so obstinate? I’ve fellowshipped with you for such a long time, but you have not taken in a word. You’re too hard to deal with. Later, I had several more fellowships with her. She became a little better then; but when something happened to her, her state worsened again. So, I judged her, thinking that however I might fellowship with her, she would remain like that and could not have any transformation.
Once, the small-district leader asked me to meet with her. I then reported the church leader’s state and my opinion of her. In light of my state, the leader opened The Replies to the Questions from the Churches in Various Places (2) and read: “When we see certain brothers and sisters have little transformation, we begin to judge that they are hopeless, and we become unwilling to fellowship with them. We have such a state mainly because we do not understand God’s intention or know the normal course in which man gains the transformation in his nature. Besides, it is also because our nature is too arrogant. We always think that others do not pursue and are too bad, and we feel that others are inferior to ourselves, so that we always dislike them and are unwilling to fellowship with them. … If we think about the extent to which we ourselves have been corrupted by satan and then reflect on the difficulty of our pursuing the nature transformation, we will be able to understand others and will not make too high demands on them. Then, when we fellowship with them again, we will be able to make allowances for their difficulties and have patience to help and sustain them.”
When I heard that, I felt ashamed and guilty. Like the sister, I am also a person most deeply corrupted by satan, but I judged at will that she could never be transformed, as if I could see through her and could determine her outcome. Didn’t I stand in a wrong position? Wasn’t what I expressed the corrupt, ugly image of the archangel? Only God Godself can determine man’s outcome. What qualifications do I, a tiny maggot, have to condemn others before God? I am really so arrogant as to be devoid of sense. When God perfects and transforms people today, he allows people a course in which to be transformed. Only through many times of chastisements, judgments, sufferings, and refining can people gain a little transformation. On reflection, in order for me to understand one respect of truth, how many circumstances and people, matters, and things God had to arrange so that I could gain a little bit of knowledge. And so far the transformation in me is still very little. However, I put so high requirements on the sister and made no allowance for her weak point and fatal spot; after fellowshipping with her for several times, I demanded that she should be transformed immediately. I was simply so arrogant as to be unreasonable.
Thinking of that, I could not help praying to God silently: O God! In your exposing, I have seen that I am really too arrogant and devoid of sense and am really loathsome and nauseating to you. I am so corrupt, but you have not given me up. Instead, you have arranged the circumstances to make me have knowledge, and given me the chance to be transformed again and again, and you are determined to make me perfect. Compared with your being, I really feel ashamed of myself. From now on, I will never again judge others at will. I will do my utmost to pursue the truth, forsake my arrogant nature, view people and matters in light of your word, and perform my duty faithfully, so as to comfort your heart.
Dalian City, Liaoning Province