It’s Very Important for One to Have Wisdom in Associating With Others
Once at a meeting, the leader fellowshipped: “When we associate with others, we should not only be simple and open, but we need to be wise. If we have no wisdom, we will easily bring harm to others or cause some unnecessary troubles.” When I heard this, I thought to myself, “Today, we all believe in the practical God and all the brothers and sisters are of the same family. We can say whatever is in our mind. Why need we use wisdom? Who will take offence?” Thus, I did not take the leader’s fellowship to heart at all. When I was with others, I still spoke anything that came to my mind. Not until I suffered a setback did I realize that it is indeed very important for one to have wisdom in getting along with others.
Due to the need of the work, I came and stayed in a new host home, the sister of which was a pagan believer. After a period of contact with her, I found that whatever came upon her, she was not able to understand it from the positive side. But I paid no attention to that and still spoke my mind to her.
Once, when the two of us fellowshipped together, we talked of Sister X (whom the host sister knew). I said, “She’s thrown up her duty and gone back home recently, because she only paid attention to working but did not pay attention to her entering and did not pursue the truth. This shows that it is very dangerous if one does not pursue the truth now.” The host sister was startled by my words. She said, “That sister was very vigorous in taking charge of the work and she has been a leader for quite a few years. How come she forsook God so suddenly? Even she, an old believer who has accepted God’s new work for five to six years, has fallen down. I have just accepted it for a little more than two years; am I not even more hopeless?” At her words, I hurriedly found God’s words in this regard and fellowshipped with her: Whether one will succeed depends on the path he takes. Today God lets us hear about this matter for the purpose that we will draw a lesson from her experience of failure and not take the same disastrous road…. I fellowshipped with her for quite a while, but her state was not corrected.
I went back to my room, very distressed. Then I came before God and prayed to him: O God! The sister was in a good state a short while ago, but after I fellowshipped with her about what happened to Sister X, her state suddenly became bad. I know it must be my fault, but I have no idea what deficiency in me has caused it. May you inspire and guide me.
In my seeking, I suddenly remembered a passage in the man’s fellowship attached to Christ’s Talks with Some Church Workers: “In associating with others, we will unavoidably have many difficulties. Besides having love, we should also have wisdom. The use of the principle of wisdom is to bring others benefit and cause no harm to others, to ourselves, or to the church. If you have no wisdom, some problems cannot be easily solved. For example, when you are about to do something, you should consider thoroughly what consequences it will produce and how to do it properly without causing trouble, or what nature the other party is of, what to care about when dealing with him, how to do it to bring him benefit but no harm, which matters should be made known to him, which words should not be said to him and what consequences will arise if you say, and what way you should take if you have to say. All these are involved in the using of wisdom. It is very important for one to have principles in associating with others.”
This passage caused me to be enlightened all at once. The sister fell into passivity because I spoke too bluntly without any wisdom. Today, when we brothers and sisters stay together, we not only need to have love but we should also have wisdom and think much about our influence on others, so that our speaking and acting can edify others. Only if we have such a principle of practicing can we bring benefit to others’ life and cause no harm to others or ourselves or the church. However, when I fellowshipped with the sister a while ago, I did not take into account the factors that she has believed for a short time and has no foundation, and when encountering things she cannot understand them from the positive side. I did not think about what to say to benefit her; instead, I, without any wisdom, said whatever came to my mind. As a result, after hearing my “candid words,” she did not understand God’s intention from them, but on the contrary lived in a wrong state; her normal life entering was affected. This shows that I am so foolish and lack insight. Wherever I went, I not only could not bring benefit to others but brought trouble to the work of God’s family and brought hindrances to the life entering of the brothers and sisters. Only then did I realize that when one is with others, it is indeed very important for him to have wisdom and principles in speaking and acting.
O God, thank you for arranging the circumstances to expose me so that I have realized my lack and the consequences of speaking and acting with no wisdom. From now on, whether in performing my duty or in associating with others, I will bring my speaking and acting before you to seek your will, and consider more if they can edify and benefit others. I will think carefully before I act, and pursue to soon become a person with wisdom and insight.
Benxi City, Liaoning Province