Once, when having a meeting with another assistant and me, the leader said, “In future you switch works. In this way, you can find the deficiencies in each other’s work and can also complement each other.” At that I was very unwilling, thinking, “The churches I take charge of have all achieved some results in the gospel work, whereas the churches that assistant takes charge of haven’t gained any people for a few months. If I go there and they still gain no people, then how disgraceful that will be!” At the thought, I said to the leader in a roundabout way, “This may not be a good idea. I’ve just gotten familiar with the work here. If we switch over, I’ll have to grope afresh and familiarize myself with the work there. That will surely delay the work.” Seeing that the leader didn’t say anything more, I put my heart at ease. But after one month, the leader mentioned the matter again. I agreed outwardly, but I thought to myself, “There are many gospel clues here. Before we switch over, I will have all the gospel friends gained and leave none to that sister, so that the brothers and sisters will all know I’m more capable.” Then, I began to run around in the churches: analyzing the clues, arranging for people to cooperate, and looking for testifiers…. A period of time later, however, no person was gained. I became passive all at once: How come it is so? I have run around and spent much effort, but why has none been gained?
While I was perplexed and confused, I read God’s words: “That is to say, only your inward transformation can determine whether the sufferings you have undergone outwardly are of value. If your inward nature is transformed and you practice the truth, the sufferings you have undergone outwardly will be approved by God. If your inward nature is not transformed, then no matter how great are the sufferings you have undergone outwardly and how much you have run around outwardly, God will not approve them. If the sufferings one has undergone are not confirmed by God, they all are in vain. So, the price you pay is determined by whether you are transformed and whether you practice the truth, forsaking your intents and forsaking your notions, thus satisfying God’s heart, having knowledge of God, and being faithful to God. No matter how much you have run around, if you never know to forsake your intents but only pursue to do things and be zealous outwardly and never pay attention to life, then all these sufferings are in vain.” God’s words made me feel enlightened suddenly, and I understood that no person was gained because my intent in doing things was wrong and I was dealt with by God. I ran around and paid the price not for satisfying God but for making others regard me highly. God has said that he appears to the holy nation and hides from the filthy place. As my intent couldn’t stand before God at all, how could I be approved by God and receive the working of the Holy Spirit? O God, I thank you for your dealing and judgment. Now I realize that whether one’s performing duty can receive your approval depends on whether his intent and viewpoint within are right and whether his nature is transformed. If his intent is wrong and is not to gain the transformation of his nature, then no matter how much price he has paid it is in vain. O God, may your judgment and chastisement never leave me. I will keep your words in my mind and correct my wrong intent in my future experience. Wherever I perform my duty, I will care for your burden, pursue the transformation of my nature, and perform my duty properly to satisfy you.