I believed in God for receiving blessings, escaping punishment, and avoiding disasters. Therefore, I always paid attention to some unusual and strange things. When I heard that some strange thing happened in some place, or somewhere an earthquake occurred and so many people were killed, or someone was punished by God after departing from God, I would become active at once. If for some time no one talked about such things, I would collapse again and have no strength to pursue.
During SARS, it was said that earthquakes would also happen, so everyone got into a panic. Seeing this situation, I thought that the day of God had arrived and God had begun to chastise the great red dragon and all the evildoers. Then my strength increased again. I thought, “I must perform my duty every day and stay together with the brothers and sisters; in this way, the disasters, however great, will not come upon me.” Hence I was very active in performing my duty, being busy going to the small groups to solve their problems and putting great efforts into the gospel work. When I saw the unbelievers, I thought, “The day has come when God redresses our grievance and avenges us. Let you still laugh at me. Now see how our God will punish you!”
Gradually, SARS passed away, and earthquakes were no longer mentioned. And then I became slack and no longer had a burden; I was unwilling to go to the small groups and had no goals in performing my duty. Little by little, I even began to doubt God: Isn’t the sky still the same sky and the earth the same earth? Just when I was in such a state of nearly falling down, God again uttered his voice of salvation, “You Should Think about Your Doings.” God says: “Once my hand begins to do things, these people are ready to take actions and act as daring vanguards. They only want to run in the front of the procession for fear that they will not be seen by me, doing what they think is right and speaking what they think is right. But they never know that their doings never have anything to do with the truth and all that they do is frustrating and disturbing my plan. Although they exert great strength and their will and intent to endure hardships are very genuine, all that they do has nothing to do with me, because I do not see at all that what they do is well-meant, much less see that they have laid anything upon my altar. This is what they have done before me over these many years.” After reading the latest utterance of the Almighty God, I somewhat woke up. Actually, I stayed in God’s family just for avoiding the great disasters, and I believed in God with the hope that the disasters would come as soon as possible so that I could enjoy the blessings of the kingdom of heaven early. When I heard there were disasters, I ran around more actively than anyone else. When I saw no disasters came, I began to doubt. Am I not the kind of person as is exposed by God’s words? As my belief was built on this basis, wasn’t everything I did unrelated with the truth? Didn’t I do everything according to my imaginations? Wasn’t I, controlled by the intent of receiving blessings, bargaining with God and making demands of God? God’s words pierced my essence, hit my fatal spot, woke up my heart and spirit, and enabled me to see my wrong viewpoint of pursuit and understand that if I want to receive God’s approval in believing in God, I should first right my viewpoint of pursuit and have a correct goal of pursuit. No matter what God does, I should submit to God with a heart of fearing God and should not have this or that kind of desire. Whether I will receive blessings or suffer disasters, I should perform my duty properly and complete God’s commission faithfully. Thank Almighty God for his salvation. If it were not for the timely supply of God’s words, I would still hold on to my wrong viewpoint and think I was quite faithful to God. Through the leading of God’s words, I have realized that over these years, I have not laid anything upon God’s altar indeed. I am willing to correct my viewpoint of pursuit and walk every step of the way ahead properly in a down-to-earth manner.
Puyang City, Henan Province