The work arrangement concerning the writing of communication articles on life experience required like this: “Those who are able to write should write articles; those who are unable to write had better exercise writing.” I thought to myself, “Although I have a poor quality, I’ve got the brothers revising the articles, which is a favorable condition. Under their guidance, if I, with my second-grade education, write a good article to be published, how honorable that will be!” So, full of enthusiasm, I selected a topic and wrote on it again and again, and then I spared no trouble to make revisions. I also made a resolution before God: I’ll never give up until it is complete! So, I made much ado and finally finished the article and handed it in.
Since I handed in this article, I was pleased with myself all day long. I thought, “I’m able to write articles with my second-grade education. If this article is accepted and published, I’ll become famous. And if it’s collected into a book, my name will even go down in history forever.” Day and night, I thought of this with longing. I never expected that my article should be sent back in the end. The returned article shattered my dream of becoming famous, and my heart sank all at once. The brothers revising the articles fellowshipped with me and encouraged me not to lose heart but continue to write. But I just could not bestir myself. Although I promised to write, I thought to myself, “I exerted so much effort but the article failed to be selected. I won’t write anymore.” Thus, my spirit became darkened. Later, when I ate and drank God’s word, I read these words: “If Peter failed to satisfy God’s heart in any way in his life, he would feel no peace, and if he failed to satisfy God’s heart, he would feel remorse…. Paul just pursued outward fame and position and pursued to exhibit himself before others. …” God’s words made me realize that Peter pursued to satisfy God in everything, and he took the greatest pain and indebtedness in failing to satisfy God. But why am I passive and distressed? Isn’t it just because my article was not selected and my extravagant desire was not satisfied? Am I not a person like Paul? I always pursued outward fame, position, and vainglory, and pursued to flaunt and exhibit myself, always wanting to be highly regarded by others. Do I have any humanity and sense? God required us to write articles for testifying about him. However, I did not care for God’s will at all, but always pursued these meaningless and debased things. I have really grieved God too much. O God! Thank you for your exposing of me, and even more for your inspiration and guidance. From now on, I will correct my wrong viewpoint of pursuing, and pursue to walk the way of Peter.
Zaozhuang City, Shandong Province