Because I was too arrogant and self-right, though I clearly knew that host home was not fit to use, I took a chance and held a meeting there for the second-line members. As a result, I was arrested by the great red dragon. In prison, what I saw all day was the prisoners’ eating, drinking, and pillow-fighting, and what I heard was their filthy language; because I refused to confess anything about my belief in God, those in the same cell, instructed by the great red dragon, beat and abused and insulted me as a coward. In such circumstances, I felt so distressed that several times I wanted to cry out: I stay with these people every day, having no common language with them, having no confidant, and having to suffer their insults. I really can’t bear this any longer! So I always expected that I could leave this living hell soon.
One day, when I was let out for exercise, I looked at the blue sky and silently confided my inner distress to God. Then, God inspired me to remember a passage of God’s word: “God has had so many sleepless nights for the sake of the work of mankind. He comes to the lowest place from the highest place and comes into the living hell where people live and spends days and nights with them. He never complains that the world is shabby, never rebukes people for their rebelliousness, but endures great humiliation to do the work he ought to do personally. How could God belong to hell? How could he live a life of hell? But for the sake of all mankind and for the purpose that the whole mankind can enjoy rest earlier, he endures humiliation to come to earth, personally coming into ‘hell’ and ‘Hades’ and coming into the tiger’s den to save people. …”
As I was thinking, my heart was moved by God’s love. Ah, yes! Like these prisoners, I am a filthy descendant of satan. Only, because of God’s salvation I have been separated from them. I am actually in the same kind with them, but in staying with them for so short a time, I feel each day seems like a year and cannot bear it. Besides, the suffering I undergo today is caused because I was disobedient and did not keep the principles, and it is what I deserve. God is not in the same kind with us, yet he has come to earth from heaven and become an ordinary person, living and moving together with us who are extremely corrupt and numb. God is innocent; in order to save mankind, God has been working for more than ten years, silently enduring man’s rejection, slander, misunderstanding, complaint, and enduring man’s disobedience, resistance, insult, and blasphemy, and the great red dragon’s pursuit. How distressing it is for God to live with us for so many years! Only then did I deeply realize how hard it is for God to work in this fortress of demons, and how much humiliation God has to endure while working among us.…
I could not but pray silently to God in my heart: O God, you are so holy and great. You should not have undergone these sufferings, but in order for the whole mankind to enjoy rest earlier, you have endured the sufferings and humiliations that are unbearable to man. Only now have I understood how long, wide, high, and deep your love for mankind is, and how beautiful and kind your heart is. O God! In the past I was together with the brothers and sisters every day, talking and laughing, fellowshipping about your word, and enjoying the grace you bestowed upon us. Yet I never treasured your word up in my heart and never tried to feel your grief and your sorrow. Every day I, like a child playing in the street, only knew to sport and play. At this moment, I can’t find any more words to express my indebtedness to you. I can only, in my heart, offer up to you a song of gratitude:
“…I am moved to shed tears for what you give me/For you bring me a hope/When I no longer live for myself/My sorrows are gradually disappearing/You have spread the seed of your love/Graciously upon me/I a piece of clay/Have actually been perfected to be a good fruit/How do I deserve to/Receive such a grace from you/And enjoy so much of your salvation/I will live my whole life/Only for you/Even if I have only one breath left I will live for you/I will obey you sincerely/And no longer hurt you…”
Wuhu City, Anhui Province