Since I accepted God’s new work, I only knew to perform my duty and didn’t think much about my future and marriage. As time went by, I grew several years older. Seeing that those of my age had gotten married and had a happy and satisfactory family but I was still single and wandering about, I thought in my heart: Will I spend all my life just in this way? Such a belief in God really has some slight imperfection. Now I expend myself for God; if some day God prepares a good mate for me to set up a family so that I can both perform my duty in God’s family and enjoy the warmth of my own family, how nice it will be! Won’t that be perfection? This expectation had been lingering in my mind, and became more and more intense.
One day, I read these words in the man’s fellowship: “Everyone wants to have things done perfectly. In fact, this is impossible. If one can really reach the point where he is faithful to God and satisfies God, this is most important. If one satisfies God completely and can bear pain to give up what he loves, this is true perfection. For example, some brothers and sisters, though expending themselves for God, have a worry because they are old enough yet not married. What is the real matter behind this worry? It is that they want to reach perfection. They may think: Now I’m expending myself for God, so God will prepare a mate for me; after I get married, I can still go on expending myself for God. Thus God is satisfied, and so am I. Isn’t this man’s imagination? Everyone wants to reach perfection and be free from any cares. In fact, if you really had a mate, probably you would have early gone back to live your own life, and you would not necessarily expend yourself for God. It can be said that the temporary sufferings of your flesh are just a relief for you. Without these sufferings, you would be stuck in the enjoyment of the family and the flesh. Wouldn’t that be more miserable?” I also read these words of God: “Now is the time my Spirit is working greatly, the time I am working in the Gentiles nations, and even more the time I am putting all created beings among their kind, dividing these created beings into their kind, so that my work can be faster and can better produce results. So what I require of you is still that you should offer up your whole being for all my work, even more know clearly and see accurately all my work on you, and expend all your energies for the purpose that my work will produce better results. This is what you should understand. …do not seek a way out for yourselves anymore, and do not seek after ease for your flesh anymore, lest you delay my work and delay your beautiful future. Doing so can only ruin yourselves but cannot protect yourselves. Aren’t you foolish?”
After reading these words, I finally woke up somewhat. Only to completely satisfy God by enduring pains to give up what one treasures is true perfection. I expected God to prepare a good mate for me so that I could both perform my duty in God’s family and enjoy the flesh, and that was not perfection but the beginning of the depravity of my flesh. Looking at the brothers and sisters around me who have just gotten married, some of them are stuck in the family entanglements, some have returned to the world, and some others have become too weak and passive to rise again. If I really had a mate, I would even more be trapped in my flesh and unable to extricate myself. How could this reach perfection? In that case, wouldn’t I ruin myself? I’m really foolish! Today, enduring all humiliations, God has come to the earth to do his work just in order to deliver us from the chains with which satan binds man—family, marriage, emotion, and so on, so that we can soon turn our heart to God and live in the days of light. Therefore, I should surrender my future and destiny to God’s hand and pursue to live to satisfy God.
Thank God for his inspiration. It has enabled me to understand what is true perfection and that the little bit of suffering I endure today is just the protection for me. I am willing to make this resolution: I will dedicate my whole being to the gospel work, and pursue to be truly faithful to God and satisfy God, so as to reach true perfection.
Shangqiu City, Henan Province