“Who can truly expend himself completely for me and offer himself up completely for me? All of you are half-hearted, think of the past and future, consider your families, consider the external world, and consider eating and clothing. Although you are now doing things for me in my presence, in your heart you are still thinking of your wife, children, and parents at home. Are all these your inheritance? Why not commit them into my hands? Do you distrust me? Or do you fear that I may arrange them improperly for you? Why do you repeatedly worry about your family? Worry about others!” Whenever I read this passage of God’s words, I give my thanks and praises to God from the bottom of my heart, because it is this passage that has enabled me to transcend the dominion of my emotions and truly taste the relief after committing my all to God.
Because my husband always fooled around and didn’t come home, my son had become the only one in my heart. Although I went out to perform my duty every day, yet in my heart I could never drop my son. One morning, when I was about to go out to perform my duty, I suddenly got a call from my mother: “Go to the hospital at once. Your kid was hit by a motorcycle. I don’t know how he is now.” Hearing this sad news, I hung up and ran like crazy toward the hospital. As I was running, I cried out to God: “O God! I beg you to keep my son. I have lost my husband; I can’t afford to lose my son!” When I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me, “Your child’s spleen was ruptured by the knock and it caused visceral hemorrhage. He must be operated on, otherwise his life will be in danger.” At the doctor’s words, my heart was broken. In weeping I begged the doctor to save my son by all means. By evening, my son still kept bleeding, and we had to transfer to the county hospital. But there, the diagnosis was also that an operation was needed. At that moment, I was extremely frightened: If anything goes wrong with the operation, won’t my son die? In my anxiety, I thought of God, and immediately I prayed to God: “O God, I beg you to save my son. You know I can’t live without him.” After the prayer, I suddenly remembered that when Job was tried, God took away all of his children, but he said that Jehovah had given and Jehovah had taken away. Job held the testimony for God in the trial. Today, isn’t my son’s life also in God’s hand? How should I bear testimony for God? Then, I remembered these words of God: “Who among the whole mankind is not watched over in the eyes of the Almighty? Who does not live in the Almighty’s predestination? Does man’s life and death originate from his own choice? Is man’s destiny controlled by himself?” God’s words gave me strength and also changed my viewpoint of seeing the matter, causing me to see that my supplication before God was so unreasonable. Then, I silently prayed to God again: “O God! All matters and all things are in your hand, so is my son’s life. I’m willing to commit him to you. No matter whether you take him away or let him remain, I will make no complaint.” In the night, the doctor said to me, “It is too late now; even if an operation is to be performed, it has to be done tomorrow. Let’s make the decision after one night’s observation.” At that time, because of the inspiration of God’s words, I no longer had any worries. The next morning, when the doctor gave my son another examination, he found that my son’s bleeding had stopped miraculously. In the end, without operation my son recovered after being hospitalized for several days.
Having experienced this matter, I came to realize God’s kind intention in arranging such circumstances to save me. Although having followed God till today, I did not have any true faith in God and did not believe that everyone’s destiny is in God’s hands, so that I could not drop my son and transcend my family to expend myself for God. When God revealed his salvation by the fact, I actually made so many unreasonable demands on God. I was really too blind and too ungrateful! O God! Thank you for all the work you did on me, which has released me, a person captured by emotions. I have seen clearly that everything you express is love for man and is for leading man onto the right way. O God! In the past, I only enjoyed your love but never loved you. From now on, I’m willing to commit my everything into your hands, drop my affection for my son, offer up all my love to you, and expend for you with my whole body and mind. For you have told me: “Why not commit them into my hands? Do you distrust me? Or do you fear that I may arrange them improperly for you?”
Suqian City, Jiangsu Province