Recently, an elderly sister in our church hadn’t come to the meetings for quite a long time. I went to her home several times but failed to see her.
One day, I went to the elderly sister’s home again, and she happened to be in. I asked her how her state had been in that period. She said, “I give up my belief. I’m in old age and my brain doesn’t work well. What you talked about I felt was quite good when I was listening, but I forgot it afterward. Besides, I have this or that illness all the time, and even others who don’t believe in God are not like this. You might as well take away the book of God’s word. You needn’t take trouble to come here time after time for my sake.” Hearing her words, I thought: Yes. She’s so old and barely literate, and she listens to fellowships but can remember little of them. Perhaps she is muddled in her belief. Since she herself has said she doesn’t believe anymore, I will take the book of God’s word away today.
When I was about to take her book, God’s words rang in my ears: “But now, quite a lot of people do things only with their two hands. With their own brain’s imagination, they do things in this or that way. They seldom ponder: Is practicing in this way after God’s heart? Could my doing so please God? … Can you examine every matter seriously in this way? Can you treat every matter in detail? Or you may ponder whether God will detest it if you do so, how everyone will feel if you do so, whether you do it according to your own will, and whether you do it to satisfy your own desires…. Think more in this way, ask some more questions, and seek more, then you will make smaller and smaller errors in doing this thing. Only doing so can prove that you are one who truly seeks the truth and who fears God….”
I suddenly woke up. Yes! Today the elderly sister is passive and said she did not believe anymore; and in this matter I didn’t seek God’s will but directly wanted to take her book away. Wasn’t I acting according to my own will? The work arrangement never says that the old and the illiterate won’t be saved by God. Judging by the principles, the elderly sister has a good humanity and believes there is God, so she is an object to be saved. In this case, no matter how passive and weak she is or what notions she has, as long as there is a ray of hope I should fellowship about the truth with her and do my utmost to rescue her. Only this is after God’s heart. However, I concluded according to my imaginations that she was muddled in her belief, and intended to take the book away without fellowshipping with her. Wasn’t this against God’s intention to save man to the utmost? Wasn’t this offensive and hateful to God?
At the thought of this, I was afraid. Then I gave up the idea of taking the book away and began to eat and drink God’s word together with the elderly sister. I fellowshipped with her about God’s intention to save man, and removed her notions about God. Later, the elderly sister’s state was corrected, and she was willing to believe in God again.
Through the matter of today, I realized that actually, I did not seek God’s will in doing things and I was a person who had no place for God in his heart and who did things according to his own ideas.
O God! From now on, I will no longer do things according to my own will. I will consciously seek your will in everything and seek the principles and standards of doing things, and pursue to be a person who has a place for you in his heart and who truly has fear of you, so as to perform my duty properly to satisfy your heart.
Dandong City, Liaoning Province