After I accepted Almighty God’s work, for a time God’s family assigned me to accompany a sister, who came from another place, to go around shepherding the churches. At that time, the Holy Spirit specially worked on me, and I always had an unfailing strength and I also was very thirsty for the word of God. As I had just accepted God’s new work and knew little about it, I felt that whatever that sister talked about was very fresh, and I was very willing to ask her some questions I didn’t understand. After a period of time, I gradually understood a little about some questions, and also knew a bit about the inside truth of the Bible and the three-stage work. Then I began to disobey the sister. From then on, we had prejudices against each other and barriers between us, each ignoring the other. At that time, neither of us was willing to drop ourselves; as a result, our relationship was getting worse, and we even attacked each other by bitter words before the brothers and sisters. My state was increasingly going down, and I always had an inexpressible oppression in my heart. At that time, I didn’t realize that this was a circumstance God arranged for me to transform my old nature, so I fell deeper and deeper in the darkened state.
One day, my husband reminded me by saying, “Now you can’t act in the way as before. In the past you were not submissive to anyone, and today what God does is the work to transform man’s nature. You should drop yourself, and go and have a talk with her. God says: ‘Being Not Transformed in Nature Is at Enmity With God.’” Hearing his words, I thought, “Yes! What God does today is the work of transforming man’s nature. ‘Being Not Transformed in Nature Is at Enmity With God.’ If I still don’t drop myself or examine my doings, how can my nature be transformed?” But ever since I was born, I had never confessed my faults to anyone. Faced with this matter, I was in a quandary: I’m not willing to drop myself, and I also fear that God will not approve of me. Seeing me in distress, my husband found out a piece of God’s word and read it to me: “…when you encounter a thing and you need to undergo suffering, at this time you should understand what is God’s will and how you should care for God’s will, you cannot satisfy yourself but should drop yourself first…. If you satisfy the flesh too greatly and treasure it too much, you can ruin yourself. If you truly love God and do not satisfy the flesh, you will see that what God does is too proper and too good and it is right to curse your disobedience and judge your unrighteousness. Sometimes God chastens and disciplines you and raises up circumstances to temper you, forcing you to come before God. You will always feel that what God does is too good. Thus you will feel as if you have not suffered greatly and feel that God is too lovely.” When I heard those words, I felt as if a merciful mother was teaching an innocent child and she was so kind and respectable. At that moment, I was just like a boat which lost its way and finally found its course. So, I came before God and prayed, “O God, ever since the day I was born, I have never been submissive to anyone. But today, I’m willing to practice the truth and drop myself to satisfy you. O God! Please give me strength and courage. I’m willing to rely on you to break through satan’s trap and will no longer live for my face. May you help me.” After my prayer, I felt a mighty force in me.
I went and met that sister. I was a little embarrassed when I saw her, but I felt God’s word encouraging me. I said to her honestly, “Sister, I am a very arrogant person. Sometimes what I said or did is improper but I did not realize that. You have accepted God’s work for a longer time than me. Please help me more and point out my defects more. I’m willing to get transformed from now on.” After I said that, I felt great peace and enjoyment within, tears unconsciously streaming down. At that moment, the sister grabbed my hand and also wept. She said regretfully, “Actually it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have treated you that way. We failed to see through satan’s schemes and had been fooled by it for quite a few days. From now on, we should help each other, complement each other, make allowances for each other more, try hard to eat and drink God’s word to let it be the sovereign within us….”
It was the first time I had truly dropped myself. I, an arrogant person, could do this and this is the result Almighty God’s word and work achieved on me. I will continue to know myself and pursue the transformation of my nature, so as to be saved by God completely.
Jining City, Shandong Province