On the eve of the Spring Festival of 2004, a sister suddenly came to my home and said to me in a sly manner: “Sister, you may not know yet that the conquering work has ended, and God has now done a new work—the work of ‘perfecting people.’ As long as one sees ‘Christ’ face to face, he will be perfected. I have seen ‘Christ’ personally, and I have been perfected and have been given a new name. I can take you to see her, if you want to.” After she went, I was lost in a fog, “Can there be such a good thing? Will I be perfected as long as I see Christ face to face? If what she said is true but I don’t believe, then won’t I lose the opportunity to be perfected? I can’t miss such a good opportunity!” So, obsessed and driven by my desire to receive blessings and my curiosity, I went to see a man who professed to be a “firstborn son.” When I saw his triumphant and impressive air, I was full of admiration, thinking: Isn’t this XX who gave himself away in looking for gospel clues, gave away his methods in preaching the gospel, and achieved no results in doing his work? Today he should have suddenly changed into a “firstborn son.” God’s work is really contrary to man’s notions. Has this fulfilled God’s word “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion”? Then I remembered that it had been fellowshipped many times before, “God’s gospel work in Mainland China has drawn near to an end.” It seems that what the sister said must be true; I have finally seen the day! Before, I performed my duty away from home hard and strenuously but did not get any benefit, and when I achieved no results in my work, I was criticized and dealt with. All is well now. If I can see “Christ” face to face and be perfected, then I will no longer have to leave my home to perform duty and undergo so many hardships. That will truly be a great blessing! At that time, I was only thinking how to curry favor with this “firstborn son” so that I could see “Christ” face to face and also be perfected and receive the sonship of a “firstborn,” and then my future would be “infinitely bright.” So, without hesitation, I threw up the commission given by God’s family and followed the false christ. Moreover, I completely listened to them and became their accomplice. As a result, many brothers and sisters were deceived.
When I was blinded by satan and continued doing evil in the mire, God reached out his hand of salvation to me. In light of my deficiency of the truths concerning the vision of God’s work, the brothers and sisters fellowshipped a lot with me. And they read with me God’s words: “Actually, while conquering is going on, perfecting is also going on. While you are being conquered, the result of initial perfecting is achieved. Conquering and perfecting are said to be different according to the degrees of people’s being transformed…. Therefore, you have to pursue to be transformed. Both conquering and perfecting depend on whether you are transformed and whether you are obedient. These determine whether you can be gained. … Conquering goes in the process of perfecting and perfecting goes in the process of conquering. All these are what you should understand.” At that moment, I felt as if awakening from a dream: The conquering work and the perfecting work are done at the same time. It is not that the conquering work is done first and then the perfecting work will be done. Besides, whether one can be perfected depends on whether he is transformed and obedient; it is not as the false christ spread that “as long as one sees me face to face, he will be perfected.”
Then, I read these words of God: “God is not incarnated to purposely let people know his flesh or to let people discern what differences there are between God’s incarnated flesh and man’s body or for people to exercise their discernment, much less to purposely let people worship God’s incarnated flesh so that God can gain great glory. All these are not God’s original intentions in being incarnated. … If God were incarnated only for people to know his flesh and broaden their horizons, why would he not travel to all the other countries? Wouldn’t that be a very easy thing? However, he did not do that, but chose a suitable place to stay in and started the work he ought to do.” “What will appear to all men will only be his righteous nature and all his deeds but not the images of his two incarnated fleshes, because God’s image can only be revealed through his nature but cannot be replaced by the image of his incarnated flesh. … That is to say, God makes known his image to people not through the image of his incarnated flesh but through the work done by the incarnated God who has form and image, revealing his image and making known his nature to people through the work done by him (her). This is the significance of the work he wants to do through being incarnated.”
God’s words have said very clearly that God is incarnated only to accomplish a stage of work but not to make known the image of his incarnated flesh to people, and that what God will make known to all people in the end is his righteous nature but not the image of his incarnate flesh. I did not equip myself with the truth available but was obsessed and listened to the falsehoods and fallacies of the false christ. I was foolish and ignorant and did not have any discernment. In order to receive blessings soon, I followed the false christ desperately and blindly. I simply became a prostitute and an adulteress, following anyone I wanted to follow and believing in anyone I wanted to believe in. I forsook the true way and toiled willingly for the false christ, and I became a core accomplice of hers and became a shameless traitor. How could I have the face to live before God? Although I followed God for years, I never treasured God’s word and work, nor did I have the will to undergo suffering and pay the price for the truth. Rather, I only pursued to receive blessings. As a result, I was deceived by the false christ and forsook God, committing an unforgivable transgression, which left me a permanent stain before God.
O God! Even death would be too good for me. I am not worthy to be saved by you, but deserve only to receive your curse and punishment. No matter what my outcome will be in the future, I am willing to make this resolution before you: From now on, I will spend more time and energy on your word, strive to equip myself with the truth, make your word become the foundation of my existence, and never again commit rebellion against you. I am willing to forsake my intent of receiving blessings. And I only desire to practice the truth and fulfill my duty as a created being in the rest of my life, so as to atone for my indebtedness of the past.
This experience made me deeply realize: Without the truth one can by no means stand! It is really important to equip oneself with the truth!
Guangzhou City, Guangdong Province