1. If your wife or husband and children all believe in God, you should allow yourselves to be governed by God’s words and the truth, and leave yourselves in the charge of Christ. You should learn how to support and obey each other.
2. If your wife or husband and children are not believers, but do not oppose your belief, if it is according to the principles for spreading the gospel, you should often testify to God’s love and bring them before God.
3. You should take an enlightened approach to wives, husbands, or children who oppose the belief in God and hate the truth. You should not force the wicked to believe in God and enter the church.
4. For family members who are not believers, you should choose whether to stay with or leave them based on whether they support your belief or are against it, and according to their degree of opposition and harm.
Relevant Words of God:
When they bring God into their real lives, God primarily requires that people worship God, pursue the knowledge of God, and perform the duty of a creature of God amid normal humanity. … They are not asked to abide by doctrine. Each should act according to their individual stature: If your husband does not believe, treat him as an unbeliever, and if he believes, treat him as a believer. Focus not on love and patience, but on wisdom.
from “Practice (2)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh
Those who take their utterly unbelieving children and relatives into church are too selfish and show their kindness. These people stress only love, with no regard as to whether they believe or whether it is God’s will. Some bring their wives before God, or bring their parents before God, and regardless of whether the Holy Spirit agrees or carries out His work, they blindly “adopt talented people” for God. What benefit can possibly be gained from extending this kindness toward these people who do not believe? Even if these unbelievers who are without the presence of the Holy Spirit struggle to follow God, they still cannot be saved as one believes they can. Those who receive salvation are not actually that easy to obtain. Those who have not undergone the Holy Spirit’s work and trials and have not been perfected by God incarnate cannot be completed at all. Therefore, these people lack the Holy Spirit’s presence from the moment they begin to nominally follow God. According to their conditions and actual states, they simply cannot be made complete. So, the Holy Spirit does not decide to expend much energy upon them, nor does He provide any enlightenment or guide them in any way; He merely allows them to follow along and ultimately reveals their outcome—this is enough.
from “God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together” in The Word Appears in the Flesh
Maintain a stable temperament, do not let your passions run hot and cold; you must have a heart that always holds Me in reverence. What you do in front of Me or behind My back must always be in accordance with My wishes. Do not be lenient to anyone on My behalf, be it your husband or family member; it is unacceptable, no matter how good they are. You must take action based on the truth. If you love Me, I will grant you great blessings. I will tolerate none who resist. Love those whom I love, and hate those whom I hate.
from “The Twenty-ninth Utterance” in The Word Appears in the Flesh
The Man’s Fellowship:
When you bring God into your real life, the first thing is to bring God into your home life. In your home life, if people used to be in charge of your family, then you must remove them from their position. You must dispel all idols, make God’s words the master of your home, and allow Christ to rule. Husband and wife, father and son, mother and daughter—they must all read and commune God’s words together. If there are any problems or disagreements, these can be resolved through prayer, reading the words of God, and communing the truth. Do not do as you used to, listening to someone. People shouldn’t do as other people say, they should magnify Christ, and allow the words of Christ to rule their family, allow the words of God to take charge in their home. Is this not bringing God’s words into your real life? And so, who really wields power in your home life? Is it you, your husband (or wife), or is it your children, or parents? Do you dare to write the words “Christ Is the Lord of My Home” in your house? Do you dare to say to your husband (or wife), children, and parents, “Our family worships God. God’s words have begun to wield power, and from now onward, regardless of what problems we have, we shall solve them through prayer, and eating and drinking the words of God”? If you do it, and bring a complete end to a life of being ruled and reigned by the flesh, then this will be the first step in bringing God into your real life.
from “Preaching About God’s Word ‘You Ought to Live for the Truth Since You Believe in God’” in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entry (VI)
See how there are some brothers and sisters who are persecuted by their spouse, and who divorce them as a result, saying, “I’d rather divorce you, I wish to believe in God and serve God. I’d rather our family be broken apart, I wish to walk the path of belief in God.” Such people possess resolve—but not everyone has this resolve. How many do? Only a few, yes? But there is something I must tell you: If a husband and wife are both believers, and one of them has problems with their belief, then it is not OK for you to divorce them. If you both believe in God and acknowledge that there is a God, then you should use love to help each other. If, in a family, the unbelieving party is too hard on the believing party, if they oppress you and don’t let you walk this path, then they become the enemy, and there’s no point in you spending any more time with them. In your heart, you long for the light, and wish to leave behind the darkness and follow God. They, however, are of Satan, and their connection with you is merely an emotional one. And if you betray God simply because of this emotional connection, is this not a great loss for you? It is fair to say that there’s nothing lovable about those who belong to Satan. There are some who feel that they are really lovable—but that’s just an emotional need, and it has no meaning. Is it not hollow? You have suffered a little emotional hardship, but so what? You have gained God, and the depths of your heart have been brought comfort. Which of these, then, is more important?
from “Nothing Is More Beneficial to a Person’s Life Than Experiencing the Pain of Trials” in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entry (II)
… in their home environment, some are enshackled by a husband or wife who doesn’t believe in God, or else are enshackled by their environment. This is enshacklement, it means to be limited. When you believe in God and try to pursue the truth, those who do not believe are an enshacklement to you: They oppose you, pass judgment on you, and limit you, and so you are unable to believe in God freely and properly. This is what it means to be enshackled. How do you face such situations? You must be wise. First of all, you must be sure that since they enshackle your belief in God, then they are Satan, they are a devil. You must first determine what the nature of their actions is, who they belong to, and what kind of person they are; if they oppose people’s pursuit of the truth and their belief in God, then they belong to Satan and are a devil. First determine their nature and what they are—this is what’s most important. If you treat those who enshackle your belief in God as right, and as good people, then you shall never rid yourself of this enshacklement, which shows that you are fighting on the same side as Satan, that you have taken the wrong side. They are a demon that opposes God, and they enshackle your belief in God and pursuit of the truth, which proves that they are a demon, and of Satan—that they are something negative. First determine their nature, and then face them with wisdom. Is it right to act in this way? It is completely right. There are those, perhaps, who still don’t have the correct view about such matters. As a result of their emotions, they believe that their unbelieving husband or wife is good, that they support their belief in God. It is proper that they be brought to heel—they can’t go overboard in their belief in God, and there’s nothing wrong in leading a normal life; they must go with the psychological needs of the people in their family. Would you say this way of thinking is right? This view is wrong. This is following Satan, it is being mindful of Satan, and not being mindful of God’s will or pursuing the truth. In sum, there must be principles to your behavior toward every person, situation, and thing. You must face them using the truth, and according to the truth. … You must establish boundaries with them. In addition, you must use wisdom; you must not go along with Satan, you must not follow Satan or be mindful of Satan, much less must you yield to Satan.
from “Questions and Answers” in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entry (III)
If you are a sister and your husband says something that is at odds with the truth, do you listen? How do you approach this? How do you handle it? In day-to-day things, you can listen. The path that people should take and the things they should do must be based on the words of God. When it comes to day-to-day matters, husband and wife each have their responsibilities in the home; if it’s something you are responsible for, then you must do it, you must take the responsibility. And if you don’t do it properly and he rebukes you, then this is right. But if he doesn’t allow you to believe in God, and makes you walk the path of the worldly people, then you must not listen to him, yes? “Christ is the truth, the way, and the life. I must obey Christ in all things. Christ’s words and the truths expressed by Christ are the path that I must walk, and I cannot stray from the words of Christ. Such are our beliefs.” If your husband violates your belief, then you absolutely must not tolerate this. This concerns questions of principle, and you cannot back down! Look at how some brothers and sisters are like this. Their husband (or wife), who is an unbeliever, opposes their belief in God. Ultimately, they oppose to the extent that things become irreconcilable. At that point, they divorce and each go their own way. There’s no other option. They say: “If you support my belief, then we can find a way to be together. But if you genuinely oppose my belief in God and oppose me taking the path of belief in God, then we can’t be together, it’s impossible.” Is this not principle? This is principle. When it comes to the way of the life, you absolutely must not give way. You must stick by the truth, stick by our beliefs, and comply with God’s words in all things. Only then will you be someone who truly believes in God.
from “The Value and Significance of Pursuing the Truth” in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entry (V)
How do you deal with a spouse who does not believe? If you have a husband or wife who does not believe, you should maintain your family as long as they do not restrict or coerce you and allow religious freedom. This is because we are currently in the period in which God is still saving people and the disaster has not yet descended. As it is not yet time for God to dispose of families, maintaining for the moment remains the best policy. If the unbelieving party opposes the believing party or even persecutes the believing party, it is not wrong for the believing party to request a divorce if the believing party feels they can no longer tolerate it. No one will condemn it. If it is a proper marriage then there should be a proper married life. Regardless of whether the other party believes in God, it is reasonable and in accordance with the law. People should not condemn married life. Believers are free to choose marriage, but people who truly believe in God and seek the truth should have principles. Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers. That is, believers and unbelievers don’t share the same language and don’t walk the same path. Even if they form a family it will not be a happy one. When choosing a marriage partner, one should pay attention to the principles of sharing the same language and pursuing the same goals. This is beneficial to everybody and conforms with God’s will.
from “Approaching and Practicing Principles Concerning Real Life Problems” in Annals of the Fellowship and Arrangements of the Work of the Church (I)