Once when I had a meeting with the church leaders, a newly elected church leader said, “I’m too small in stature, and I think I am unfit to perform this duty. There are so many affairs crushing me that I could not get to sleep for several nights. …” At that time, I sought God with a burden and then fellowshipped with her, “All the work is done by God, and we only cooperate with him. As long as we have a burden and often come before God to rely on God, we’ll surely see God’s almightiness and wisdom. It’s a good thing that we have a burden for the work, but if we take the burden as a heavy load, it will become a hindrance to us and cause us to be passive and even misunderstand God. …” Under God’s guidance, I felt, I fellowshipped very clearly, and the sister came to realize her state of having no place for God in her heart and working by herself rather than by relying on God, and also found the way to enter in. Then I was very pleased, thinking that my being able to solve the sister’s difficulty meant that I had had the reality of the truth of this aspect.
Two months later, God’s family transferred me to an article-revising team to perform duty. When I first joined the team, because I did not know the principles of revising articles, facing the many articles that needed revision, reorganization, and instruction, I could not help falling into passivity and resistance: I know nothing, but I am assigned to perform this duty and I have to be responsible for discovering the flaws in the articles. This is too much for me! I felt only a great pressure and could not quiet my heart, but I did not know how to rely on God. I was so worried that I could not sleep for three nights. Confronted with this state of mine, I was quite puzzled: Some time ago when I solved the difficulty for the new church leader, I felt I had understood the truth of this aspect. But today, when I encounter such a difficulty, how come I have no idea how to go through it? I came before God with perplexity.
Later, in “Working and Entering (2),” I read God’s words: “While men are speaking in working or praying in their personal spiritual devotions, they suddenly become clear about a truth. In fact, what they see is only the inspiration of the Holy Spirit (of course, this inspiration has to do with their cooperation); it is not their true stature. When they go on to experience for a period and encounter many actual difficulties, under this situation, their true stature will be revealed. … After several cycles of such experience, many spiritually sober people will come to realize that in the past it was not their reality but the momentary enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, and that they were only enlightened. Often, the Holy Spirit inspires men to understand a truth in a clear and explicit way and without a context. That is, he does not integrate their difficulties into the revelation but directly reveals the truth. When men encounter difficulties in their entering and they marry them with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, it will become their practical experience.”
Pondering over this passage, I came to know that the truth I understood when solving the difficulty for the sister was merely the enlightenment of God. Because of my cooperation then, I received the inspiration of the Holy Spirit; but it was not my true stature, nor did it prove I had gained the truth of this respect. At that time, the Holy Spirit inspired me to understand the truth because of the need of the work; through my cooperation, he helped me solve the problem and difficulty in the work. But before I have practical experience in this respect, my stature is still the same as before. Only when I encounter difficulties in this respect and then enter in practically according to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, can it become my own practical experience of life.
Under the inspiration and guidance of God’s words, I quieted my heart to look to and rely on God. Then I carefully examined and pondered the principles of writing articles as well as the model articles given by God’s family. Imperceptibly, I received God’s inspiration and guidance. I was gradually able to discover some problems in the articles, had a much clearer idea how to revise them, and also realized the significance of God’s family requiring people to exercise to write articles. Little by little, I came out of my passivity and misunderstanding.
Thank God that through this experience he has corrected the deviation in my knowledge. I realize that my receiving a certain inspiration of the Holy Spirit does not mean that I have the practical experience of it, much less mean that I have had the reality of the truth of that aspect. In future, I will bring more inspirations of the Holy Spirit into my real life to practice and enter in, so that these truths can truly become the reality of my life.
Tengzhou City, Shandong Province