226 I Have Seen God’s Righteousness
1 Experiencing judgment before Christ’s seat, I suddenly awoke. When I was part of religion, too much of my faith in the Lord was impure. Though I gave up everything, and toiled many years for the Lord, I lacked true knowledge of the Lord, I was full of conceptions and imaginings. I thought that God was merciful and compassionate, that I deserved to receive grace from my faith in the Lord. For years, I followed the example of Paul, suffering and paying a price for the Lord. When I was imprisoned and suffered the utmost pain, I didn’t become a Judas. All was to earn the crown of glory and receive the blessings of the kingdom of heaven. Amid the revelations and judgment of God’s words, I prostrated myself upon the ground.
2 The judgment of God’s words reveals the corrupt nature of mankind. Although our sins are forgiven, our satanic nature is deeply ingrained. Despite working hard for the Lord, my satanic disposition is often exposed. I am arrogant, self-righteous, I lie, all I want is to distinguish myself. Doing minor good deeds is solely to be blessed, yet not practicing the truth. Expending and suffering hardship for God is to make a trade with God. My prayers to God are nothing but deception, I have no fear of God. How could I, so filthy and corrupt, be fit to live before God? Thanks be to God for not abandoning me; this truly is His love.
3 After experiencing judgment, I see that God is holy and righteous. God determines people’s end based on whether they possess the truth. God’s righteous disposition is displayed, in its entirety, amid His judgment. I have tasted God’s disposition; in it there is not just compassion, but also judgment. In the past, all that I said and did brimmed with satanic dispositions. Each day I prayed to God and confessed my sins, but I did not truly repent. It was God’s judgment that cleansed my corrupt disposition. God’s holiness and righteousness is so lovely, which deserves man’s praise. I shall perform my duty well and love and obey God forever.