209 Self-Reflection Gives Me a Way to Follow
It's God's words that guide me along as I follow Him on this path. Through many pains and through failures, His words are the comfort I have. By seeing myself through His words, I find my corruption is deep. By satanic nature I'm bound, and it makes me do as I please. I reveal so much corruption, fail to live out humanity. I act according to my will, and seldom do I practice the truth. My actions don't have principles, but think I have truth's reality. I'm nothing but a hypocrite, I do not obey God at all. Arrogance and self-righteousness, that's what my nature is. My life entry's skin deep. In contrast to Peter, I lack, fall short of his spirit. So shameful, words I lack.
Trials and tribulations show that I am without love for God. I care only about my flesh, and care nothing at all for God. I fear the torment of arrest, and fear to become like Judas. I have been afraid of death, and have lived an ignoble life. I see my actual stature from the revelation of the facts. Without the truth's reality, I will be sure to betray God. With no love in my heart for God, how could I devote and obey? I regret my years of belief are not for pursuing the truth. Revealed through persecution, tribulations and trials, I see with my own eyes my dangerous situation. Without truth's reality, there can be no strong witness.
Trials, being dealt with and pruned, they expose me and what I do. I expound on doctrines and use excuses to defend myself. With lies and deceit in my heart, how could I be honest for real? Reflecting, I ask what I've gained from having faith all of these years. How foolish to not seek the truth, yet want to enter the kingdom! God's disposition, faithful, righteous, without truth I'll be cast out by God. Knowing the truth, I see I'm so poor. I will strive to seek with all my might. I will gain truth to make up for lack. I will start all over again. God's words enlighten and guide me, they give me strength to go on. I'll emulate Peter and bear a victorious, resounding testimony. That will meet the will of God.