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Gospel Reader

My Life Principles Left Me Damaged

55

Changkai    Benxi City, Liaoning Province

spiritual battle, My Life Principles Left Me Damaged

The common phrase “All lay loads on the willing horse” is one with which I am all too personally familiar. My husband and I were all particularly guileless people: When it came to matters that involved our own personal benefit or loss, we weren’t the type to haggle and fuss with others. Where we could be forbearing we were forbearing, where we could be accommodating we also did our best to be accommodating. As a result, we often found ourselves cheated and abused by others. It really seemed that in life, “All lay loads on the willing horse”—if you have too much kindness in your heart, if you’re too accommodating and modest in your affairs, you’re very liable to be cheated. With these thoughts in mind, I resolved to not subject myself to all this abuse and live in frustration anymore: In future matters and in dealings with others, I vow not to be too accommodating. Even after I accepted Almighty God’s work, I still applied this principle in conducting my behavior and interactions with others.

At one point, I was working with a sister in fulfilling our duties. This sister often pointed out my inadequacies and shortcomings; I had the feeling that she was holding me down in every way. At first I thought: It’s not easy to be on your own away from home, try to use some forbearance. Later, however, after the sister proved to be unrelenting in her criticisms, I finally thought back to that phrase “All lay loads on the willing horse.” It occurred to me that the sister must have recognized I was too kind and therefore an easy target and decided to make things hard on me by nitpicking over petty and inconsequential matters. I decided I wasn’t going to accommodate or forbear her behavior any longer, so I summoned all of the fishwife energy suppressed inside me and let loose an apoplectic tirade, stopping only when the sister didn’t dare to utter another word. Later, the sister asked me to commune with her and confided that she had realized the way she spoke and acted was very inhumane and hoped that I could forgive her. She also said that God had orchestrated this situation and used me as a way to deal with her. When I heard this, I was so pleased you would have thought I was a four-star general emerging victorious from the battlefield. What’s more, I was even further convinced that there was a lot of merit to the phrase “All lay loads on the willing horse.”

Only recently, while reading “The 100 Axioms of Satan Upon Which Corrupt Humans Rely for Existence” issued by the church, did I see a passage which said: “‘All lay loads on the willing horse.’ … Humanity has been corrupted by Satan for thousands of years and there are countless fallacies which Satan uses to brainwash people. Here we summarize 100 fallacies which humanity prizes as precious maxims to guide them through life. These fallacies have already taken root in the deepest depths of the human heart; if not equipped with the truths, humans are largely incapable of uncovering the true nature of these fallacies. If humans continue to hold Satan’s fallacies up as maxims and principles for living, corrupt humanity will never attain salvation.” After reading this passage from the fellowship I had a sudden realization, as if waking up from a long dream: The phrase “All lay loads on the willing horse” was a fallacy created by Satan to indoctrinate and corrupt humankind. God asks that in our interactions with others we should be accepting, patient, tolerant, and forgiving. We should be thoughtful, respectful and loving toward others. By contrast, Satan’s life principle, “All lay loads on the willing horse,” subtly guides us away from good and toward evil, teaches us to not be too kind or conciliatory in our dealings with others. To protect ourselves, we must take “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,” we must learn to be tough, barbarous and evil. I realized that “All lay loads on the willing horse” represents a fallacy, which is in diametrical opposition to the truth—it is Satan’s logic, it belongs to the negativity of Satan, a poison of the great red dragon. Satan works through these specious “theories” to brainwash humans into scheming against one another, murdering in cold blood, engaging in dogged and endless competition, submitting to no one until there is no humanity left within them. In this way humans become corrupt as Satan itself, sacrificial objects to be buried with it, and Satan achieves its goal of corrupting and consuming all of humanity. I couldn’t see through the illusion and took “All lay loads on the willing horse” as a truth to be accepted and respected. I thought that I couldn’t be too kind or accommodating, and that being patient or tolerant in dealings with others was the way of the stupid and ignorant and would only leave me vulnerable to cheating and abuse. Because I had always taken this fallacy as a maxim to be lived by, when the sister pointed out my inadequacies in order to help me to recognize them and change for the better, not only did I not accept her comments, I actually thought she was bullying me and nitpicking at inconsequential details. As a result, I unleashed the beast inside of me, acting like a demon. Even when the sister abased herself and offered me an apology, I still didn’t gain insight into myself or feel embarrassed, but rather sat there pleased as punch, thinking that the sister had finally “accepted defeat” because I had stuck to my maxim “All lay loads on the willing horse.” Having “won this victory,” I felt even more moved to uphold and praise this axiom of Satan. How absurd, how preposterous I was! I had gotten things completely backward, mistaking evil for good; I simply could not be reasoned with! God’s final work is to cleanse humanity of Satan’s poison, and use truth to change their corrupt disposition. In my own case, however, I hadn’t sought the truth, or strived to recognize Satan’s poison existing within me, nor did I practice the truth to change myself. Instead, I held on to Satan’s fallacies and rejected the truth. If I had continued on like that, I would never have begun to understand myself. I would never gain the truth and achieve a change in my disposition. In the end, I would have to be annihilated by God, as is Satan’s fate.

Thank You God for Your enlightenment and illumination, which allowed me to realize that Satan’s axiom “All lay loads on the willing horse” is nothing but a fallacy which Satan uses to brainwash and corrupt mankind. This phrase is used as an excuse and tool by the corrupt mankind to continue striving against one another. The phrase is in contradiction to the truth, and can only corrupt and ruin mankind. If man attains his sustenance from Satan’s poison, if he acts according to Stan’s axioms, he will only become more corrupt and evil. He will be less and less humane and more and more in opposition to God, removed from God. He will never receive God’s salvation. Almighty God, I vow to put all my effort into Your words and into my pursuit of the truth, so that I may come to recognize the many varieties of Satan’s venom within me, thoroughly forsake the fallacies of Satan, and no more act according to Satan’s axioms. I vow to seek out Your will in all matters, and follow Your word, so that Your word may take root deep within my heart and become the axioms by which I do things, the standards against which I measure myself. Let me live in complete accord with Your word.

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