I was a person who liked to go to crowded places for fun; wind and rain could not stop me. In the past, when I hosted the brothers and sisters for their meetings, they came every few days and so my personal life was still quite free. But since I hosted two sisters who revised articles, I lost my “freedom.” Because the two sisters stayed in my home for a long period, I couldn’t leave the house for the sake of security. Even when I went to the market to buy vegetables, I had to go quickly and return quickly, not daring to hang around. And especially when the festivals or holidays came, I was “bound” in the matter of going to my son’s home for dinner, for after dinner I had to hurry back and had no time to have a good chat with my children. As time passed, discontent began to emerge within me: “When will this duty come to an end? I’m not free in doing anything, and I was restricted too much. I will simply ask the leader to change my duty.…” The more I thought about it, the more I felt darkened. And I turned a deaf ear to the sisters’ fellowship. I no longer sang hymns, and felt sleepy when reading God’s word. All my former resolutions vanished.
One day, I opened the book of God’s word and chanced to read these words: “Receiving some restrictions and some sufferings is of benefit to you. If you are given a free rein, you will be ruined. Where can you go to get protection? … Because you have endured many sufferings, you have been kept; otherwise, you would have fallen long since. It is not my intention to be hard on you. Man’s nature is hard to change. Only doing so can make man’s nature transformed.” The inspiration of God’s word enlightened my heart suddenly. Actually, God gives me this duty today and thus I have suffered a little and been restricted a little, but all this is for me to be kept. Otherwise, I would always associate with the unbelievers in the world and become more and more dissipated and fallen, wasting all my precious time. By this duty, God withdraws my heart from all the external people, matters, and things, so that I can come before him more often to equip myself with the truth, to eat and drink his word, to pursue life, to free myself from the carefree life like that of swine, and to live out a valuable and meaningful human life. But I, a blind and ignorant person, didn’t see from it God’s love and salvation for me; on the contrary, I complained to God about having lost my fleshly enjoyment and even wanted to change my duty. I was so ungrateful and really blind to God’s considerate intention. O God, thank you for the timely inspiration of your words. It has made me understand that everything you do is good and is for me to pursue life and gain the transformation of my nature. Just protected by this duty today, I can struggle free from satan’s trap. Otherwise, I would still be enjoying the pleasures of sins as the unbelievers do, and thus lose the meaning of being created and finally fall into Hades.
O God, I will no longer disobey you in future. I will treasure everything you do on me, rebel against my flesh, perform my duty faithfully and properly, spare no effort to pursue the truth and the transformation of my nature, so as to comfort your heart.
Liaoyang City, Liaoning Province