Mei Jie Jinan City, Shandong Province
After changing the church administration back to its original form, partnership was established for every level of leader in the household of God. At the time I thought this was a good arrangement. I was of a low caliber and I had a great deal of work; I really did need a partner to help me complete all types of work in my region.
So, I and the sister who became my partner began carrying out the pastoral work in the church together. But gradually, I saw that she wasn’t doing all sorts of things according to my will, and resistance began in my heart: Although I’m a little busier when I work on my own, it’s okay, and arranging for a partner really would be a hassle. If I let her do some work and it’s not ideal, then I’d rather do it on my own. If I don’t let her do the work, well, she is my partner. … So, more and more resistance came up in my heart, until one time, I really couldn’t hold back any longer and I lost my temper with her: “How can you be so stupid? You’ve been a leader for many years, how can you still not be doing good work? Why can’t you ever understand, or respond? …” After I was done, I felt awful, really guilty. I thought to myself: Is my situation incorrect? So I came in front of God in seeking, and saw God’s words which said: “Today the requirement of you to work together harmoniously is similar to how Jehovah required the Israelites to serve Him. Otherwise, just end your service. Because you are people who serve God directly, at the very minimum you must be able to be loyal and obedient in your service, and must be able to learn the lessons in a practical way. … You do not even study or enter into such a practical lesson, and you still talk of serving God! … If you people who coordinate to work in the churches do not learn from each other, and communicate, making up for each other’s shortcomings, from where can you learn lessons? When you encounter anything, you should fellowship with each other, so that your life can benefit” (“Serve as the Israelites Did” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Then I saw this in the man’s fellowship: “There are some people who are unable to coordinate with anyone else while fulfilling their duty. No one can get close to them; this reveals their arrogance and conceit, that they don’t have any human sense, are not aware of themselves, and look down on others. Isn’t this pitiful? The disposition of this type of human does not change at all, and it’s not easy to say if they can be saved by God. People who truly know themselves can treat other people correctly without being too critical. They can also patiently help and support others, make people feel that they are dear and beloved; they can have proper relationships with others. They are people with humanity, and only people with humanity have devotion for God, can live harmoniously with others, and adequately fulfill their duty” (The Fellowship From the Above). Combined with those words of God and this from the man’s fellowship, I carefully examined myself and saw that I had not understood God’s will in God’s household arranging partners for all levels of leaders. Even more, I had not put into practice or entered into the truth of harmonious coordination. One reason of God’s household arranging partners for us was because our caliber was too low, and our understanding of all aspects of the truth was too limited. We could not take on all the work in the church on our own. With the help of a partner, we could better complete the work of the church as well as avoid resistance to God through working alone, doing whatever we wanted, and relying on our own will in our service to God. Another reason was so that we could better exercise entering into the truth of normal humanity, so that we could have mutual fellowship with the partners, and learn from each other. This is hugely beneficial for the work of the church as well as our personal life entry. This made me see that harmonious coordination in our service is so critical for the work of the church and our personal life entry! But I had not sought God’s will at all in this. I had not paid attention to what practical lessons I could learn through this coordination. I just reluctantly worked with her because of the church’s arrangement, and as soon as this sister didn’t handle a few things well, I scolded her and lost my temper. I always felt that she wasn’t as capable as I was, and I didn’t see her strengths and advantages. I even resisted the arrangement of the church. I really was too arrogant, so unaware of myself, and I didn’t have even a little bit of normal humanity or reason, and even more I absolutely didn’t have a heart of reverence for God, and did not deserve to render service in front of God.
Oh God! Your revelation made me recognize my inability to coordinate harmoniously, my arrogance and my pitiful side in service to You. From this day forward, I am willing to maintain a heart of reverence for You, to no longer uphold myself, and in all things to focus on the interests of the church. In coordination in service I will support others and learn from others. I will focus on my own entering into the truth, and seek to soon become a person with truth and humanity who is fit for use by You.