Among the many brothers and sisters, I showed the most adoration to two sisters who were leaders. Seeing that they could drop everything and come out to expend for God running about in wind and rain all year round, I admired them very much. I thought to myself, “They have expended so much for God and they can surely be acceptable to God.” So, I imitated them in every aspect; I even imitated the tones and manners of their speaking.
Just not long ago, however, the two sisters were somehow replaced one after the other. This made me confused: “So good are these sisters, but how come God’s family dismissed them?” I really couldn’t understand it. I could not help complaining in my heart that they were unfairly treated. Unconsciously, I fell into a wrong state and didn’t have as much enjoyment as before in eating and drinking God’s word, in singing hymns, and in praying. This situation continued until one day I read these words of God: “I am the God who searches hearts and minds and this should be seen by everybody. … I have said that I will not wrong a single person, I will not do anything wrong, and all my doings are the wise arrangements by my hand.” “Man’s standard in judging men is according to their deeds: those whose deeds are good are righteous men and those whose deeds are evil are wicked men. But God’s standard in judging men is according to whether their substance is obeying God: those who obey God are righteous men and those who do not obey God are enemies and evil ones, regardless of whether their deeds are good or bad or whether their words are right or wrong.” Only then did I see the light. Ah, yes, what I have seen is only the sisters’ outward behavior; and I cannot see through their substance. Only God can search hearts and minds. I always claimed that I was believing in God and following God, but my heart had no place for God and was completely occupied by the image of man. Didn’t I worship idols and blaspheme God? The two sisters were replaced and then I became so passive and even had many notions inside. If some day the sisters give up their belief, will I also leave God and give up my belief? As I adored man to such an extent, hadn’t I offended God’s nature? It is as the man used by the Holy Spirit says: “If you adore man, you’ve taken the branch for the root and forgotten the source; and this shows that you are a blind person who does not know God. Now that the practical God has saved us, we should only love God and absolutely cannot adore anyone anymore. God has already been face to face with us, God’s nature has been completely revealed to men, and men have all seen God’s deeds face to face, so we all should worship God formally. It can be seen how ignorant and blind it is to adore man and how corrupt and evil it is to adore man! Adoring man is to adore satans and devils, and adoring man is adoring antichrists. Those who adore man do not have any truth and absolutely do not know God. They are exactly the scum cursed by God. Do you think this is the true fact?” Having thought of this, I felt very remorseful. I fell down before God: “O Almighty God! I’m so muddled and blind that I have offended your nature and become loathsome and hateful to you. No matter how you punish or curse me, I’ll never complain! You are the Creator and I am a created being. I should worship you and shouldn’t let man have a place in my heart. I’m willing to repent and make a fresh start before you and pursue to know you and love you more deeply. Between the heavens and the earth, only you deserve glory, authority, honor, and praise. None of the created beings can compare with you! I’m willing to fall down and worship you at your feet.”
Shangrao City, Jiangxi Province