Ever since I followed Almighty God, I always held such a thought: As long as I try to know myself and confess my corruptions and then restrain myself and forsake my flesh, my life would grow and my nature be transformed. Therefore, when I had a brush with the brothers and sisters who coordinated with me, I knew it was caused by my poor humanity and fuss about too many trivialities, and so I made efforts to restrain myself. When I had a critical view of the leader, I realized that it was due to my arrogant and self-right nature, and then I did my utmost to deal with it. When my work was not effective, I knew through self-examination that it was because, when I achieved some results, I became complacent, arrogant and self-indulgent and unconsciously did the work by my experience…. Just like that, exposed by God constantly, I tried to know myself constantly. I thought that by acting this way, I could step onto the right track of believing in God.
One day, I read these words of God: “No matter whether people experience God, know themselves, cast off their corrupt nature, or pursue to grow in life, it is for knowing God. If you only pursue to know yourself and only deal with your corrupt nature but do not know what work God does on people, what a great salvation it brings to them, how you experience God, and how you see God’s deeds, you are experiencing in a foolish way. If you only know that being able to practice the truth and be patient mean growing up in life, you still do not understand the real meaning of life or God’s purpose in working man.”
After reading the words of God, I suddenly saw the light. Actually, the way of my experiencing was too foolish and too one-sided and was not after God’s heart at all. God does his work to expose and reveal me not only for me to know myself, but also, while experiencing his work, to see his deeds, to know his righteous nature and his substance, to truly obey the truth, to be purified and perfected by his word, and to be gained by him in the end. However, in encountering people, matters, and things, I only knew to know myself and confess my corruptions, but did not try to seek God’s intention, to know God’s work and God’s deeds, and then by equipping myself with the truth and practicing the truth, to cast off my corruptions. In this case, even if I finally know that I am a heap of dog’s dung and less than a maggot, I won’t gain any transformation of my nature. Then won’t I still be a natural person filled with satanic nature? Of what use or value am I? Today, God’s ultimate requirement for us is to glorify him and testify about him. Those who can testify about God must be the ones who have true knowledge of God, not the ones who only know to know themselves. Only when one has seen God’s salvation in reality and truly been conquered and moved by God’s love, can he have a true love and true reverence for God, and can he actively practice the truth to meet God’s requirements. However, I was only content with knowing myself passively but did not pursue to know God. As I experienced in such a foolish way, how could I step onto the right track of believing in God?
O God, I thank and praise you! It is your inspiration that has given me the goal and direction for my pursuit. Now I understand that in pursuing life while believing in God, one should try not only to know himself, but even more to know your work, to know your salvation and love for man, and to know your holiness, righteousness, and your substance of beauty and good. This is the only way to keep him from going astray. From now on, I will correct my deviations in my experience, seek your intention in everything, and pursue to know myself and know you, so as to step onto the right track of believing in you early.
Heze City, Shandong Province