Not long ago, because of the need of the work of God’s family I was transferred to a remote rural area to be a church leader. Although before coming here I had prepared myself for sufferings and resolved to submit to the circumstances God set for me, yet when I faced the facts, my “resolution” was smashed into pieces.
This was a newly-established church. There were no deacons and no one who took the initiative to perform duty, and all had to be started from scratch. Yet, the things intolerable to me were these: The house of the host family where I stayed was low and shabby, dirty and damp, and at night mice scampered around it; every day when I went around the church, I had to travel over hill and dale in the scorching sun and was tired out…. In the face of such circumstances, I really could not stand them. All the complaints within me broke forth: “This place is too hard. When can I free myself from the sufferings? When can I leave here? If things go on like this, won’t I be killed in this place?” So I completely lived in darkness and lost the working of the Holy Spirit. Every day I felt extremely distressed.
I had to pray to God in bitter tears, “O God, in putting me here, you must have your good purpose. But I’m too disobedient and don’t want to undergo the sufferings, and I can’t sense your loveliness. May you inspire me so that I can understand your intention in it.” Later, in Christ’s Talks with Some Church Workers, I read God’s words: “From these responses it can be seen that people now need such trials, and need such tribulations and refinings. …the corrupt things in people’s nature must be solved through trials. Where one cannot get through within him, there he must undergo some refining. This is God’s arrangement. God sets circumstances for you and forces you to undergo refining in them, so that you can know your own corruptions and finally you would rather die than not drop your own attempts and desires and submit to God’s ruling and arrangement. …without certain sufferings, one cannot, in thought and in heart, free himself from the domination of his fleshly corruptions. In whichever aspect you are still dominated by satan or still have your own desires and demands, in that aspect you should undergo suffering.”
The inspiration of God’s words caused me to understand God’s intention at once. God arranged such circumstances just to deal with my nature of seeking ease, and they are totally the need of my life. Because I have suffered little since childhood, I have no knowledge of my nature of seeking ease. Today God’s family has assigned me to this remote rural area; though it brings some sufferings to my flesh, it causes me to know in this environment my nature of seeking ease and compels me to equip myself with the truth in this respect and enter into the reality of God’s words, understand the essence of the flesh being satan, practice the truth of forsaking the flesh to satisfy God, and free myself from the domination of the corrupt flesh, so that I can lay a foundation for my being able to stand when undergoing trials in the future. This is God’s great love and salvation to me. Otherwise, when great trials come upon me in the future, I will utter complaints against God because of loving my flesh, and finally forsake God and leave the true way. God’s kind intention in arranging the circumstances made me feel keenly God’s kindness and loveliness, and realize deeply that such circumstances and such sufferings and refinings are very beneficial and necessary to my life.
O God, thank you for arranging such circumstances for me. I will no longer think of leaving this place to dodge your salvation, and no longer love my worthless flesh. I only desire to pursue the truth hard and grow up faster in such circumstances. However hard and difficult they are, I will cooperate with you, free myself from the domination of my corrupt flesh, and submit to your ruling and arrangement absolutely, so as to be perfected and gained by you early.
After that, I soon adapted myself to the environment here and threw myself into performing my duty body and heart.
Dalian City, Liaoning Province