Once when I was discussing something with the sister coordinating with me, because we disagreed we got into an argument. Later, the same circumstances happened several more times. Then I had a prejudice against her. I thought, “When you encounter things, you do not pay attention to entering into life but always live in your viewpoint of right and wrong; besides, you are so arrogant and have no regard for me at all. I might just as well have you replaced.” Because of this matter, my heart was constantly disturbed and could not be quiet.
Right then, there came the new work arrangement, “The Sense One Should at Least Have in Serving God.” It says: “When God’s family assigns us to do a work, what we receive should be responsibility rather than power or position. If we care about power and position, we are unworthy to serve God, and even if we serve God, we will surely resist God and rebel against God. … Corrupt people really have no sense. It seems to them that, from the time they receive a work of God’s family, they have received authority from God and can act as they please in God’s family. … Once corrupt people have a position, they act this way, which is even unacceptable to man. How can God be easy about them?”
These words pierced my inmost soul. Only then did I see that I was really too devoid of sense before God. God’s family assigned me to be in charge of the work in order that I can receive a responsibility from God and perform my duty properly as a created being according to God’s requirements for me. According to the requirement in the work arrangement, I should lead the brothers and sisters to pursue the truth, to learn to experience God’s work, to enter into the reality of God’s word, and to be gained by God in the end. However, when my assistant did not pay attention to her entering but lived in her viewpoint of right and wrong in the things she encountered, I not only did not fulfill my bounden duty by helping her learn to view things according to God’s word and enter into the reality of God’s word, but I had a prejudice against her, thinking that she was too arrogant and had no regard for me, and I simply wanted to use the power in my hand to dismiss her. Although I undertook the commission of God’s family, I did not receive it as a responsibility. Rather, I thought that I had power and position and could act as I pleased and replace at will anyone who I thought was not good or was not to my liking. Was I performing my duty? I was purely acting as a servant of satan to frustrate God’s work of perfecting and gaining man. I was even more arrogant than the archangel. Is there any difference between my behavior and that of those officials ruling for the great red dragon? With such behavior, how can I not be repulsive and hateful to God? Am I worthy to be a leader in God’s family?
Today I have known that as I perform my duty in God’s family, what I receive should be responsibility rather than power or position, and that if I care about power and position, I am simply unworthy to serve God and even less can I put God’s heart at ease. In performing my duty in future, I will do my best to pursue the truth, forsake my arrogant and conceited nature, and restore the sense I should have as a created being, so as to put God’s heart at ease and satisfy God.
Jinzhou City, Liaoning Province