255 Nostalgia for God’s Love
1 Only when God’s words of judgment awakened me did I realize that in faith I had been living amid notions. In my belief in God, I had only been asking for blessings, ignoring His words, to my deep regret. Being pruned, dealt with, and disciplined time and again, I always harbored complaints and rationalizations. Being tried and refined time and again, I constantly tried to flee and distance myself from God. I hate that I’m so corrupt and have failed to live up to the pains He takes. Oh, God! Your words of judgment and revelation have awakened me from dream.
2 I have wasted so much time; I believed in God for years yet failed to understand the truth. The past flashes scene by scene before my eyes; all I did was resist and disobey. I believed in God but did not undergo His judgment and chastisement, and now it is truly too late for regrets. It’s no wonder my life disposition has not changed, and I am unable to perform any duty well. I feel such remorse, and I owe God so much; I yearn for His love, hating myself even more for my heartlessness. God’s judgment gives people life; I have enjoyed so much of His love, and I shall pursue the truth and gain life, fulfilling my duty to requite God’s love.