135 I Ask Only to Love God All My Life
1 I believed in the Lord for so many years but knew only how to enjoy His grace. I never truly loved God. I only worked and suffered, wanting to exchange this for the blessings of the heavenly kingdom. Now, only by experiencing judgment before the seat of Christ have I woken up to the truth: God saves man by expressing the truth to cleanse them of their corruption, to make them understand the truth and practice the truth so that they may live before God. But I was corrupted too deeply by Satan and lost my conscience and reason. I merely coveted God’s grace yet did not practice His words at all. I wanted only to exchange my suffering and work for the blessing of the heavenly kingdom and eternal life, yet I never showed any consideration to God’s will and I never lived out the reality of God’s words. By believing in God but making bargains with God, I really was trying to cheat and defy Him.
2 Only the judgment and revelation of God’s words allowed me to see clearly the truth of my own corruption. I’m arrogant, conceited, crooked, deceitful, selfish and contemptible, having no human likeness. Being so corrupt, if I didn’t undergo God’s judgment, how then would I know God or obey God? Without knowing God and without revering Him, how could I be worthy to live before Him? Through judgment, trials and refinement, I’ve experienced God’s love is so real. Though I’ve suffered great pain, my corrupt disposition gains purification at last. By knowing God’s righteousness and holiness, a God-fearing heart arises within me. Only by practicing the truth, and loving and obeying God, do I now live out some human likeness. God’s judgment has enabled me to gain the truth, and by knowing God I can live again. I have attained God’s great salvation, and I ask only to seek to love God all my life.