Experiencing the Cruel Persecution, I Believe in God More Firmly
Zhao Rui Shanxi Province
My name is Zhao Rui. By God’s grace, our whole family followed the Lord Jesus in 1993. In 1996, I, sixteen years old, was attracted by the Lord Jesus’ love and began to work and preach. However, before long, I saw the bitterly disappointing scenes: The co-workers fought overtly and covertly, pushed others aside, and contended for power and interest. The Lord’s teaching of “loving one another” seemed to have long been forgotten. The church life brought no enjoyment at all. Many brothers and sisters were passive and weak and stopped attending meetings. Facing the desolate miserable condition of the church, I was distressed and helpless. On the evening of the Chinese New Year’s Eve in 1998, I fell down to the ground and wept out my grief to God, “O Lord, where are you? When will you come back? Without your leading, how shall I walk the future way?” I thanked God that he heard my prayer. In July, 1999, under God’s wonderful manipulation and arrangement, I heard the end-timeof , the returned Lord Jesus. Through living the church life, I tasted the enjoyment brought by the working of . The brothers and sisters gathered together to have meetings, and the past religious life was gone. Everyone spoke freely, fellowshipping about the light from the Holy Spirit’s revelation and talking about how they experienced God’s word and how they relied on God to solve their corruptions and be purified. Moreover, the living out of the brothers and sisters was very godly and decent. If anyone had a defect or expressed a corruption, others would forbear with and forgive and help them with love. Nobody would belittle or look down upon anyone who had a difficulty, and we would fellowship about the truth to help solve it together. That was exactly the church life I had always wanted to have and the true way I had sought for years! I, who had been lost for many years, had finally come back to God again! I made a resolution to God, “I’m willing to bring before God those innocent souls that are still living in darkness, so that they can also live under the leading and blessing of the Holy Spirit’s working and receive the watering of the living water of life from God. This is my bounden duty as a created being and is the most meaningful and worthy life.” So, I joined in performing duty.
However, the CCP, this atheistic party that hates the true God and the truth, doesn’t allow us to follow God, much less allow the existence of God’s church. In the spring of 2009, the CCP government carried out a large-scale hunting for the principal leaders of. In various places, events that some leaders and workers were caught and put into prison occurred in succession. Around 9 p.m. on April 4, my work partner and I came out of the host home and just walked to the road, when suddenly three plainclothes men rushed out from behind. They pulled our arms forcefully and shouted loudly, “Go! Go with us!” Before we knew what was happening, we were carried into a black car that stopped by the roadside. The scene of those underworld thugs kidnapping people in public as often seen in the movies was truly played on us that day. Being extremely fearful and at a loss, I only knew to keep calling inwardly, “God! Save me! God! Save me….” While I was still in a state of shock, the car drove into the courtyard of the Municipal Public Security Bureau. Then, I was certain that we fell into the hand of the police. Soon afterward, the sister of the host home was also arrested. The three of us were taken into an office on the second floor. Without a word, the vicious policemen snatched our bags, asked us to stand facing the wall, and then forced us to strip ourselves naked to be searched. They searched out some work materials and receipts for the Church’s money from us and our bags. Our personal things such as several mobile phones, over five thousand yuan in cash, a bank card, a watch, and so on were also forcibly confiscated by them. During that time, seven or eight policemen kept coming in and going out. And the two policemen guarding us laughed and pointed at me, saying, “This is a big shot. Today we reap a lot!” After that, four plainclothes policemen handcuffed me, covered my eyes with a hat, and took me to a sub-bureau for public security far from the city.
After I entered the interrogation room and saw the high iron windows and the cold and ghastly torture-rack, all kinds of tragic scenes of the brothers and sisters being cruelly tortured I once heard came into my mind. Not knowing how the vicious policemen would torture me next, I felt very fearful in my heart, and my hands trembled involuntarily. At the critical moment, these words of God resounded in my ears, “You still have ‘fear’ in your heart; isn’t satan’s thought in it? What are the overcomers? The good soldiers of Christ should be brave, get strong in spirit by relying on me, strive to be valiant warriors, and fight satan to the death.” (from “The Twelfth Piece of Word” in) The revelation of God’s words gradually calmed my panic-stricken heart. I realized this: My “fear” is from satan. Satan just wants me to yield to its despotic power through torturing my flesh. I can’t fall into its scheme. No matter what awaits me ahead, God will care for and keep me in secret. At any time, God is my strong rear guard and my reliance forever. Now is just the crucial moment of the spiritual war and is the time for me to stand for God. I must stand on God’s side and can’t bow to the vicious policemen. Then I prayed to God silently in my heart, “Almighty God! Today I fall into the hand of the vicious policemen, and it is that your work comes upon me. And there is your good purpose in it. But my stature is too small and I feel scared and terrified in my heart. May you give me faith and courage, so that I can break through the bondage of satan’s influence, never yield to it, and resolutely stand testimony for you!” After the prayer, I had courage in my heart. Facing the ferocious policemen, I wasn’t so afraid anymore. Then, two vicious policemen pressed me onto the torture-rack and handcuffed and shackled me. Pointing at the rules of “enforcing the law with civility” on the wall, the tall and big one pounded the table and shouted at me, “Do you know what place this is? The Public Security Bureau is the Chinese government’s agency of violence! If you don’t confess honestly, you’ll suffer a lot! Speak up! What’s your name? How old are you? Where are you from? What are you in charge of?” Seeing his aggressive manner and hearing him personally expose the true face of the Public Security Bureau, the law enforcement institution of the state, I felt that a spurt of anger arose in my heart: Are they the “people’s police”? Are they “eliminating the evil and pacifying the good”? They are actually a group of hoodlums, bandits, and underworld ruffians, and are the devils that specially fight justice and fix good people! What’s wrong with our believing in God? What’s wrong with our pursuing to be a real man? We’re not wrong, but we become the objects of these beasts’ doing violence. Though I hated them in my heart, I knew that my stature was too small and I couldn’t overcome their torture at all. So I kept calling to God to give me strength. God’s words constantly inspired me, “Do not fear this or that. No matter how many difficulties and dangers there are, you should be stable before me and not be hindered by anything, letting my will be carried out smoothly. This is your duty. … You should endure everything, be willing to give up everything for me and follow me with all your might, and pay all the price. This is the time to test you. Can you offer up your faithfulness? Can you follow me to the end faithfully? Remove your fear. With me as your rear guard, who can block the way? Remember! Remember! In everything there is my good purpose, and it is I who search in it. Can you walk in my word in your every word and deed? When fiery tests come, will you bow your knees and shout or flinch and be unable to go forward?” (from “The Tenth Piece of Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) “Faith is a single-plank bridge. Whoever fears death can hardly cross it. Whoever gives up his life can cross it securely.” (from “The Sixth Piece of Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) Under the comfort and encouragement of God’s words, I had courage in my heart, “Today I’m ready to give up my life, and the worst situation is to die. You devils never expect to get from me the information about the Church’s money, the church work, and the church leaders!” So I prayed to God, “O God! You rule over all things. Satan is also manipulated in your hand. Today you want to test my faith and faithfulness through it. Though my flesh is weak now, I’m unwilling to fall under satan’s feet. I’m willing to rely on you and be strong. No matter how satan tortures me, I’ll never betray you and hurt your heart!” With the leading of God’s words, no matter how the vicious policemen interrogated me, I just kept silent. Seeing that, one of the vicious policemen was exasperated. He pounded the table, rushed up to me, violently kicked the torture-rack I sat on, and pushed my head, shouting, “Come clean! Don’t think we know nothing. If we knew nothing, how could we catch you without a mistake?” A tall policeman also shouted, “Don’t wear out my patience! If I don’t make you suffer, you’ll think I’m just scaring you. Stand up!” As he said, he dragged me under the window from the torture-rack. The window was high and with iron bars. He hung the ends of two pairs of handcuffs with teeth to the window and put the other ends of them on both my hands. I could only touch the ground with the balls of my feet. A vicious policeman turned on the air-conditioner to reduce the temperature, and hit my head hard with a book rolled into a tube. Seeing that I still kept silent, he shouted exasperatedly, “Speak up or not? If you still don’t tell, I’ll let you ‘play the swing’!” While saying that, he tied my feet with a very long military luggage belt, with the other end of it tied to the torture-rack. Then, two lackeys dragged the torture-rack forward. So my whole body was stretched into a line, hung slantingly in the air. With my body moving forward, the handcuffs slid to the root of my wrists and their teeth cut deep into the blood-vessels in the backs of my hands. I felt heart-piercing pain. Yet I bit my lips tightly and didn’t let out a sound, because I didn’t want the two beasts to laugh at me. One vicious policeman said with a sinister smile, “It seems that you feel no pain! Well, let me intensify it.” With the word, he lifted his foot and stomped on my lower legs and pressed them down with force. Then, he swung my body from side to side. At this time, the handcuffs tightened my wrists and the backs of my hands more closely, and I felt so painful that I cried out in spite of myself. The two vicious policemen laughed loudly. Then, they put down my feet, leaving me hung in the air. About twenty minutes later, that vicious policeman suddenly kicked the torture-rack back. It drew near to me with a harsh rattle. Thus, my body held in the air, with my screaming, was back to the state of the forepart of my soles touching the ground and my body being hung against the wall, and the handcuffs slid back to my wrists. As my wrists were loosened suddenly, the blood in the blood-vessels quickly ran back from my palms, and all the blood-vessels in my arms were bloated painfully due to the pressure from the backflow of the blood. Seeing my pained look, the two vicious policemen laughed hideously and then questioned, “How many of you are there? Where is the money?” Satan’s base purpose was thoroughly exposed in these words. They tortured and afflicted me in every possible way and by sinister and diabolic means just for grabbing the Church’s money, attempting to shamelessly take possession of the Church’s money. Looking at their greedy and evil faces, I was extremely indignant. I kept asking God to keep me from becoming a Judas and to curse this gang of bandits and robbers. After that, no matter how they questioned me, I kept silent. They were so angry and abused, “Damn you! You are tough, eh? We’ll see how long you can hold on!” Then, they again pulled the iron chair forward with force, hanging me slantingly in the air. This time the handcuffs slid up to the backs of my hands and tightly cut into the wounds made just now. My hands were bloated by the blood and became swollen quickly, and I felt as if they would burst, and they ached more severely than last time. The two devils aside were “vividly” telling about their “glorious history” of how they cruelly tortured people before. After at least fifteen minutes, they kicked the chair. I was back on the balls of my feet with my body being hung vertically under the window again. Heart-piercing pain swept through me once more. At this time, a short and fat policeman came in and asked, “Has she confessed?” The two lackeys said, “She’s really a Liu Hulan!” The fat lackey came forward and slapped my face hard, saying viciously, “I’ll see how tough you are! Let me relax your hands.” Then, I turned my head and had a look at my left hand. The whole hand was swollen and jet black. He seized the fingers of my left hand and shook and rubbed them until my swollen and numb hand had the feeling of pain. Then he handcuffed my hands most tightly and motioned the two lackeys to continue to pull me. Thus, I was hung up again. Twenty minutes later, I was again released. Just like that, they repeatedly pulled me forward and released me back, torturing me so badly that I was overwhelmed with pain. The handcuffs slid up and down along my wrists, bringing me more and more pain. In the end, the teeth of the handcuffs stuck deep into my wrists. The backs of my hands were pricked and bled, and both my hands were swollen like stuffed buns. The blood in my blood-vessels had already stopped flowing back. For lack of oxygen, my head was hot as if it would burst. I really felt that I was dying.
Just when I could hardly hold on, a word of God resounded in my mind, “On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus felt extreme pain as if a knife were being twisted in his heart, but he did not have the slightest intention of turning back in his heart, and there was always a strong power directing him to walk toward the place of crucifixion.” (from “How to Serve Is After God’s Heart” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s words immediately made me have strength in my heart. I thought of the sufferings the Lord Jesus underwent when he was crucified. He was flogged, mocked, and humiliated by the Roman soldiers. Badly mutilated, he had to shoulder the heavy cross. In the end, he was nailed onto the cross alive. Enduring the heart-piercing pain, he was hung on the cross for six whole hours, until his blood drained away drop by drop…. What a cruel torture! What an unimaginable pain! However, the Lord Jesus had been enduring it silently all the time. Though he felt extreme pain as if a knife were being twisted in his heart, for redeeming the whole mankind, he delivered himself into satan’s hand willingly. Now God is incarnated the second time and comes to China, this atheistic country. What he faces is a danger thousands of times greater than that in the Age of the Grace. The CCP government uses various means to slander and blaspheme Christ and frenziedly hunts Christ, attempting to crucify God again. The sufferings God has undergone through being incarnated twice are unimaginable and unbearable for anyone. By comparison, the sufferings I undergo today are less than one ten thousandth of those God has undergone, being unworthy to be mentioned! Moreover, the reason why the devils persecute me like this today is that I follow God. Actually, the One they hate and persecute is still God. God has suffered so much for us, and I should have conscience. Even if I have to die, I should satisfy God once and let God’s heart have a little comfort. At that moment, the experiences of the saints throughout the generations arose in my mind: Daniel was cast into the den of lions, three saints were thrown into the burning fiery furnace, Peter was crucified upside down, and James was beheaded…. These saints and prophets, without exception, stood resoundingfor God when death was approaching them. Their faith, faithfulness, and obedience to God were exactly what I should imitate. So, I prayed to God silently, “Dear God! You are innocent but were crucified for saving us, and you come to China to work through being incarnated at the risk of your life. I have nothing to repay your love. It is my honor that I can suffer with you today. I’m willing to stand testimony to comfort your heart. Even if my life is taken away by satan, I’ll have no complaints!” Because of thinking about God’s love, I felt that the pain of my body was much relieved. After midnight, the vicious policemen continued to take turns tormenting me. They didn’t loosen my legs until around 9 a.m. on the next day and then hung me under the window. My arms already became numb and lost feeling. And my whole body became swollen. At that time, my work partner was taken to the interrogation room next door. In a short time, there came eight or nine vicious policemen. A short and fat policeman fiercely rushed in and asked the vicious policemen interrogating me, “Has she confessed?” “No.” Hearing that, he rushed to me and slapped me hard twice, shouting exasperatedly, “How dare you still be dishonest! We know your name and know that you are a principal church leader. Don’t think we know nothing! Where on earth did you put the money? How are your works arranged?” Seeing me silent, he threatened, saying, “If you don’t tell, you’ll have a worse time when we find them out. According to your status in the church, you’ll be sentenced to twenty years!” To get the Church’s money, those vicious policemen were desperate. They really deserved to fall into the eighteenth level of hell! Later, with my bank card in hand, they asked me my name and the code. I thought, “Let them see it! Anyhow, my family hasn’t sent me much money. After they see it, they won’t keep questioning me about the Church’s money anymore.” So, I told them.
Later, I asked to go to the washroom. Only then did the vicious policemen put me down. At that time, my legs completely lost control. They carried me to the door of the washroom and guarded outside. However, my hands had already lost feeling, and my brain couldn’t govern them. I stood against the wall feebly for a long time, simply having no strength to undo my trousers. Seeing that I didn’t come out, a policeman kicked the door open and shouted with an obscene smile, “Not finished yet?” Seeing that my hands couldn’t move, he came up and undid my trousers, and later buttoned them up. Those policemen gathered outside, gloating and jeering at me and insulting me with filthy and dirty words. Thinking that I, a pure girl in my twenties, was insulted by these hoodlums and devils like that, I felt so mistreated that I cried. And I thought that if my hands really became disabled and I couldn’t even take care of myself in future, then it would be better for me to die than live. If not for my difficulty to move, I really wanted to jump off the building. Just when I was extremely weak, the hymn of life experience “I Wish to See the Day God Gains Glory” rang in my ears, “I will offer the sweetest to God, and leave the bitterest to myself; I will firmly stand God’s testimony, and never again yield to satan. Ah! Head can be cut off and blood can be shed, but the backbone of God’s people cannot be bent; God’s charge is on my mind. I resolve to shame the old satan. Let tears shed in my heart; I’d rather endure great humiliations than cause God’s heart to be worried.” Under God’s revelation and enlightenment, I had faith and became strong in spirit: I can’t fall into satan’s trap. I can’t end my life like this. They insult and laugh at me just to make me do things of hurting and betraying God. If I died, I would exactly fall into their scheme. I can’t allow satan’s scheme to succeed. Even if I really become disabled, as long as I have one breath left, I’ll live on and bear testimony for God. After returning to the interrogation room, I fell headlong to the ground because of physical exhaustion. Several policemen gathered around and shouted and commanded me to stand up. The short and fat one who slapped my face rushed forward to kick me hard and abuse me, saying that I was pretending. Just at that time, my body began to shiver, and I breathed so rapidly that I almost lost my breath. My left leg and the left part of my chest kept twitching toward each other. My whole body was cold and stiff. Even two policemen couldn’t pull me straight. I knew very clearly in my heart that God was making a way out for me through the illness, otherwise they would keep torturing me cruelly. Seeing that my life was in danger, the vicious policemen stopped beating me. They handcuffed me onto the torture-rack and left two to guard me. All the others went next door to torment the sister. Hearing the sister’s shrill cries, how I wished I could rush up to fight against those devils to the death. At that time, however, I sat there without any strength. I could only pray to God to give her strength and keep her so that she could stand testimony. Meanwhile, I bitterly cursed the evil and vicious party that abuses and oppresses the people, and asked God to punish those beasts in human attire. Later, seeing me collapse there barely breathing, they were afraid that I might really die, so they sent me to a hospital. After getting there, my chest and my leg twitched toward each other again. Several people forcibly pulled my body straight. When examining my body, the doctor saw that my hands were swollen like stuffed buns, the blood that flowed out congealed on them, and there was transparent pus under the skin. When the transfusion needle was stuck into a blood-vessel, a bump appeared and blood flowed out. The blood-vessels had been blocked. The doctor said, “Her hands can’t be handcuffed anymore!” He also advised the vicious policemen to transfer me to the city hospital for an examination, saying that I might have heart disease, yet they didn’t agree anyhow. However, God made a way out for me through the doctor’s mouth. From then on, they didn’t handcuff me anymore. The next day, the vicious policeman who interrogated me randomly wrote some words of slandering and blaspheming God as my confession, and then required me to sign. I firmly refused, saying, “I won’t sign. This is not what I said.” He, in rage, forcibly grabbed my hand and took my fingerprint.
On the evening of April 9, the detachment captain and two policemen sent me to the detention house. The doctor there saw that I was swollen all over, couldn’t walk, had no feeling in my arms, and had a faint breath. Fearing that I might die there, they refused to take me in. Finally, the detachment captain negotiated with the chief of the detention house for nearly an hour, promising that if anything happened to me, it had nothing to do with the detention house. Then, the detention house took me in.
Over ten days later, more than ten vicious policemen transferred from elsewhere were stationed at the detention house and took turns interrogating me day and night. The interrogation was supposed to have a prescribed time limit. However, the police said that my case was a major and important one and was serious, so they wouldn’t let me off all along. Because my body really couldn’t hold on and they feared that something might happen to me, they allowed me to return to the cell and have a rest when the interrogation lasted till around 1 a.m. and took me out after daybreak. Like that, they interrogated me for about eighteen hours every day and did that for three days in succession. But no matter how they questioned me, I just kept silent. Seeing that hard tactics didn’t work, they resorted to soft ones. They began to care about my injury and bought medicine and applied it on me. Facing satan’s sudden “kindness,” my psychological defense was slackened. I thought, “Maybe it’s okay to say something unimportant about the church….” God’s words suddenly arose in my mind, “Don’t act unrestrainedly. When encountering things, draw near to me more and be more careful and cautious in all aspects, lest you offend my chastisement and fall into satan’s scheme….” (from “The Ninety-fifth Piece of Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) I realized all of a sudden that I had fallen into satan’s scheme. Wasn’t it they who did violence to me some days before? They changed their face, yet they couldn’t change their malicious nature, for devils are devils forever. The warning of God’s words woke me up. So no matter how they seduced or questioned me, I said nothing more. Soon afterward, God revealed their true face. A man called Captain Wu questioned me fiercely, “You are a leader, yet you don’t know where the money is? Even if you don’t tell, we still have ways to find out!” A thin and old policeman shouted abuses at me, “What fucking cheek! If you don’t tell us, we’ll take you out of here and hang you again. We’ll see if you’ll still imitate Liu Hulan and be tight-lipped! I have enough means to fix you!” The more he was like that, the more I kept silent. In the end, he exasperatedly walked up to me and pushed and shoved me, saying, “As you act this way, it will be light to sentence you to twenty years!” Then, he walked away with resignation. Later, a person specially responsible for the work on national security in the Provincial Public Security Bureau came to interrogate me. He said many words of resisting and attacking God, and kept boasting of his being experienced and knowledgeable, making other lackeys all flatter him. Seeing his smug and disgusting manner and listening to his words of confounding black and white and rumoring and framing, I felt him hateful and disgusting. I didn’t even take a glance at him but just stared at the wall in front and refuted him inwardly. He talked for the whole morning and asked me what I thought after he finished. I said impatiently, “I’m uneducated, so I don’t understand your rambling words.” He was angry and said to the other interrogators, “She’s finished. She has simply been Godized and is irredeemable!” Then, he left in dejection. I was so happy in my heart and thanked God for leading me to pass one hurdle after another.
Experiencing the devils’ cruel persecutions, I fully tasted the hellish life of having no human rights at all in this country ruled by the evil party. The CCP government regards believers in God as thorns in its flesh and employs all its tricks to fix and torment us, attempting to put us to death. However, God is my rear guard and my. He saved me from death time after time, causing me to see that God is love and God’s heart is the most beautiful and kindest. When I was dragged into the cell by the vicious policemen, I saw that the sister of the host home was also there. The moment I saw her, a wave of warmth surged in my heart. I knew that it was out of God’s manipulation and arrangement, and that God’s love was caring for me. At that time, I was almost like a disabled person. My arms were badly swollen and very thick. My hands were swollen like steamed buns and full of yellow pus. My ten fingers were swollen like small pillars, thick and stiff and without any feeling. My legs had difficulty in moving. My whole body was painful and feeble. For as long as half a year, I lay on the board almost every day, unable to take care of myself. Half a year later, my hands could move but still couldn’t hold things. (Even now, if I carry a plate with one hand, it feels sore, limp, and numb. Without aid, I can’t even hold a plate steadily). At that time, the sister took care of my living every day, brushing my teeth, washing my face, washing my body, combing my hair, and feeding me…. One month later, the sister was released, and I was informed that I was formally arrested. After she left, when I thought that I still couldn’t take care of myself and didn’t know how long I would be detained, I felt especially desolate and helpless. I couldn’t help crying to God inwardly, “O God! Now I’m simply like a good-for-nothing. How should I spend the future days? May you keep my heart, so that I can overcome this environment.” Just when I was at a loss, God’s words guided me within very clearly, “Have you ever considered that one day your God will put you in a place most strange to you? Have you ever considered how you will be the day I remove your all? Will your enthusiasm today remain the same? Will your faith reappear?” (from “You Must Know the Work, and Don’t Follow Foolishly!” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) “In the things you cannot see with your physical eyes, you need to have faith; when you cannot drop your notions, you need to have faith; when you cannot understand God’s work, you need to have faith and to stand the ground and stand the testimony. …only in faith can you see God. If you have faith, God will perfect you. If you have no faith, God will have no way to perfect you.” (from “All Those to Be Perfected Have to Undergo Refining” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s words lighted up my heart and caused me to understand , “Now the environment coming upon me is practically a ‘place most strange.’ God wants me to experience his work in such an environment and wants to perfect my faith. Although the sister has left me, God hasn’t left me. Which step of mine along the way hasn’t been led by God? With God, there is no hurdle I can’t pass, and it’s impossible that I have no way out. I’m so cowardly and lacking in faith; how can I taste God’s wisdom and almightiness in the experience?” So, I prayed to God, “O God! I’ll commit myself into your hand and submit to your manipulation. I believe you will make a way out for me ahead. I’m willing to obey and make no more complaints.” After the prayer, I was very assured in my heart, but didn’t know what God would do and how he would lead me. On the next afternoon, the prison officer sent in a prisoner. Seeing my condition, she took care of my living on her own initiative. I saw God’s wonderfulness and faithfulness. God didn’t leave me uncared for. The heavens and the earth and all things are in God’s hand. Man’s thoughts are also in God’s hand. If God had not directed her thought, how could she, a person whom I had never met before, be so good to me? Afterward, I saw more of God’s love. After she got out of the prison, God raised up one prisoner after another I had never met before to take care of me like passing a baton. Some even transferred money into my card after getting out of the prison. In experiencing such an environment, although I suffered somewhat physically, I tasted that God’s heart of loving man is true. No matter where one is, God never leaves him but acts as his ever-present help. As long as one doesn’t lose , he can surely see God’s deeds.
After having been detained for one year and three months, on the charge of “using the cult to disturb the enforcement of the law,” I was sentenced to three years and six months and was transferred to the provincial women’s prison to serve my sentence. In the prison, we prisoners lived a life worse than that of pigs and dogs. Every day, we were forced to overwork. If we couldn’t finish our tasks, we would suffer physical punishment. In the end, almost all the money we earned by work was pocketed by the prison guards. Each of us could only gain the so-called living expenses of several yuan per month. The prison publicly claimed that it was to reform us through labor. Actually, we were their money-making machines and their free-hired laborers. Outwardly, the public stipulation of commutation in the prison was very humane. The prisoners would be commuted properly when they met some conditions. But actually, all that was pretense and was presented for people to see. In fact, the so-called humane systems were only empty words on a sheet of paper, and only the words from their mouth were imperial edicts and laws. The prison strictly controlled commutation every year so as to guarantee the number of “the laborers” and keep the income of the prison guards from falling. “The quota of commutation” also became a means for the prison to promote production. In order to get one of the over ten places for commutation, several hundred prisoners in a prison section went all out to work, competing openly and secretly. In the end, most of those who obtained a commutation were ones who had a connection with the policemen and needn’t take part in the production. Prisoners were furious but dared not say anything. Some protested by committing suicide but lost their life in vain. The prison settled it by giving their family an excuse casually. In the prison, the prison guards never treated us as humans. When speaking to them, we had to squat down and raise our heads and look up at them. Once we didn’t act to their satisfaction, they would abuse us with dirty words that were unpleasant to the ears. If the superior officers came to inspect, we had to cooperate with them to practice fraud, because they would warn and threaten us in advance to speak fine words about the prison, “The food is good and the officers care about us. We work no more than eight hours every day. We often have recreational activities….” At such times, I trembled with anger. These devils really speak every fine word but do every evil thing. They are obviously living devils that eat man, but they pretend to be men of kindheartedness and justice. They are really sinister, contemptible, and shameless! After the long three and a half years of imprisonment was over, I came back home. Seeing that I was so thin and weak that I didn’t have a normal human likeness and was like a skeleton, my family members couldn’t hide their grief and shed tears. But we all were full of gratitude toward God in our hearts. We thanked God for leaving me one breath and keeping me to walk out of the hell on earth alive. I remembered that Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entering In says, “If one doesn’t have luck, he simply can’t get out of the prison in China alive.” Now I have understood this “luck” is actually God’s keeping. Without God’s care and keeping and without the comfort and encouragement of God’s words, I would have long died in the talons of the CCP devil and wouldn’t have possibly got out alive at all.
After coming back home, I learned that during my detainment, the vicious policemen went to my home twice to search frenziedly. To escape being arrested by the government, my parents, who also believed in God, left home and wandered outside for about two years. When they came back, they saw that the weeds in the yard grew as high as the house, the roofs of the wing-rooms all collapsed, and the whole yard was in a mess. The police fabricated rumors everywhere in my hometown, saying that I cheated others out of almost a million or even a hundred million yuan in other places and that my parents cheated others out of over a hundred thousand yuan for supporting my younger brother to go to university. These demons are indeed out-and-out experts of telling and making up lies! In fact, because my parents escaped away from home, my younger brother finished the university all by his scholarship and loan, and he scraped up bit by bit the fare for working in another place by selling our grain and picking hawthorn. But the demons made a false charge and framed us against their conscience. Even now these rumors can still be heard. I still bear the charge of being a political criminal and a swindler, being spurned by my hometown fellows. I really hate bitterly this gang of devils that kill without blinking an eye, this demonic government that treats human life as a straw, and these lackeys of satan that make groundless accusations and whip up public opinions! Although the devil frames, slanders, and persecutes us like this, it makes me see more clearly the CCP government’s evil face of resisting God, going against Heaven, and running counter to right principles, and makes me taste God’s salvation and love. The more the devil persecutes us, the more it strengthens our resolution to follow Almighty God to the end. Just as the words in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entering In say, “Living in the prison for a few days and suffering a little physically, I truly see clearly the ugly face of satan the devil, and know the evil of the influence of the great red dragon and the terror of the dark world. This is also one lesson in believing in God. Without such an environment coming, who can know the terror and evil of the great red dragon? Who can truly rebel against the great red dragon and turn his heart to God? Before, people all worshiped satan and the evil forces. Without the affliction of the great red dragon, how can we hate it?” That’s true. If I hadn’t experienced that cruel persecution of the devil, I don’t know when my heart would wake up and when I could truly hate satan and thoroughly rebel against it. During my several years of following God, I only doctrinally acknowledged God’s words of exposing the nature and substance of the CCP devil but didn’t have a true knowledge. Moreover, being influenced and blinded by the “ideological education of patriotism” instilled in me from childhood, I even felt God’s words overstate the facts. I couldn’t give up my worship for the country in my heart, thinking that the CCP was right, the army defended the homestead, and the policemen punished and eliminated evil forces and safeguarded the people’s interests. So I never had a true knowledge of God’s salvation and God’s love. Only through experiencing the persecution of the devil have I truly seen clearly the CCP government’s true face. It is the most deceitful and hypocritical. For so many years, it has been cheating the Chinese people by lies and even cheating the whole world. It keeps advocating that “everyone enjoys freedom of belief and democratic and legal rights and interests.” Actually, it persecutes the religious belief. It utterly practices dictatorship, control, and autocracy, frenziedly persecuting religious belief. In China, to believe in the true God, one has to be careful and cautious in every aspect. If he is slightly careless, he’ll face the affliction of being imprisoned. Therefore, to escape being arrested by the policemen, we hide from place to place, having no fixed residence. Even when listening to hymns in our own home, we dare not turn the volume up. And when we fellowship about God’s word with our family members, we also need to lower our voice. When reading God’s word, we have to shut the door close, for fear that the policemen might watch and bug us and break in at any time. Moreover, in the prisons in China, believers in God are persecuted, bullied, and looked down upon more severely than other prisoners. Those gangsters, murderers, robbers, and embezzlers are favorites in the policemen’s eyes, working for them as thugs and heads of the cells. Various facts have shown that this country is advocating and supporting evil and fighting and persecuting justice. The more evil and vicious one is, the more he will be approved by it. The more one is a good person and walks the right way, the more he will be suppressed and persecuted by it. Today God comes to work to save me, and satan is by no means willing to let me follow God and walk the right way. So, it uses all kinds of means to hinder and persecute me. In its cruel persecution, although my flesh was tortured, I have understood that the suffering is what I should undergo, because I’m a son of satan and full of all kinds of satanic poisons and have been blinded and afflicted by it all the time. Just because I couldn’t discern clearly satan’s substance and schemes, God allowed its persecution to come upon me, causing me to see clearly in the suffering what is the CCP, which is regarded as the “savior” by me all along, and what dirty, contemptible, and dark inside stories hide behind the “greatness, glory, and correctness” publicized by it. At the same time, God has made me feel how great God’s salvation is. Only if I personally experienced the persecution of the devil could my numb heart which had been blinded by satan for long be aroused, so that I could be impelled to pursue the truth hard, break with satan thoroughly, and turn my heart to God.
In that most painful and difficult experience of my life, although I had pain and weakness and sometimes fell, God’s love had been accompanying me. When I was weak, God’s word inspired me and gave me faith and strength, making me break through the restraint of darkness and death. When satan carried out its schemes, it was God’s timely reminding and guidance that caused me to wake up from the dense fog, see through satan’s schemes and tricks, and stand testimony for God. When I was tortured by the devils to be extremely painful, it was God’s wonderful manipulation that made me look like a dying person, thereby stopping the violent act of the devils. When I felt painful and helpless and couldn’t take care of myself, God raised up one prisoner after another to take care of my living like passing a baton until my hands had feeling and could do some light work half a year later. … In that special experience, I deeply tasted God’s love and God’s beauty and good, gained the most precious treasure of life God bestowed to me, and saw clearly satan’s substance of being hostile to God, and it further strengthened my faith of pledging my life to rebel against and forsake satan and follow God to the end. Just as Almighty God says, “Now is the time. People have long readied all their strength to consecrate all the effort and all the price to this, tearing up the ugly face of this devil, and causing those who are blinded and suffer hardships and afflictions to rise up from the miseries and rebel against this old devil!” (from “Work and Entering In (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) Now I have come back to the church and again joined in performing duty. I’m performing my duty for proclaiming and spreading God’s gospel, and I only wish that more people can break away from satan’s affliction and accept God’s eternal salvation.
After Undergoing the Devil’s Affliction, I Knew More Clearly God’s Grace Is Precious
God loves me with deep and earnest affection. Even when I wanted to die because of my weakness in the flesh, God still cared for and kept me in secret and didn’t let me die. No matter how weak I was, God never intended to give me up or changed his love for me, but still inspired and led me, so that I could walk out of the dense fog.
From Suffering Is Emitted the Fragrance of Love
God’s words awakened my heart and made me understand that the pain of persecution I was suffering now for my belief in God was of the utmost value and of the utmost significance. I understood that God was using this environment of suffering to show me clearly Satan’s essence that is in enmity to God, so that I would be able to forsake it utterly and thereby turn my heart back to God and achieve a true love for God.
Regenerated in God’s Word
Pondering God’s words, I realized: What sufferings and trials accomplish is indeed God’s blessing and is God’s most practical life supply and watering to me. Now, although the words God bestows to me surpass those to the saints in the past generations, I still need to have faith and perseverance to inherit them, and should never bend or swerve in the tribulation but obey God’s manipulation and arrangement and accept God’s salvation.
God’s Word Led Me to Overcome the Suppression of the Force of Darkness
In times of danger, God accompanied me all the time, inspired and enlightened me through his word, gave me faith and strength, and led me to overcome the cruel tortures time and again and pass through three long years of dark life in the devil’s prison. Facing God’s great salvation, I’m full of gratitude and have greater faith.