I have never had a place in people’s hearts. When I truly search for people, they squeeze shut their eyes and ignore My actions, as if all I do is an attempt to please them, as a result of which they are always disgusted by My doings. It is as if I lack any self-awareness: I always show off Myself before man, causing infuriation in man, who is “upright and righteous.” Yet under such adverse conditions, I endure, and continue My work. Thus, I say that I have tasted the sweet, sour, bitter, and pungent flavors of human experience, and I come in the wind and go with the rain, that I have experienced the persecution of family, have experienced the ups and downs of life, and have experienced the pain of the parting of the body. However, when I came to earth, instead of welcoming Me because of the hardship I had suffered for them, people “politely” declined My good intentions. How could I not be pained by this? How could I not be aggrieved? Could it be that I became flesh for it to all end like this? Why does man not love Me? Why has My love been repaid with man’s hate? Could it be that I am supposed to suffer in this way? People have shed tears of sympathy because of My hardship on earth, and have railed at the injustice of My misfortune. Yet who has ever truly known My heart? Who can ever perceive My feelings? Man once had a profound affection toward Me, and once often longed for Me in his dreams—but how could the people on earth understand My will in heaven? Though people once perceived My feelings of sorrow, who has ever had sympathy for My afflictions as a fellow sufferer? Could it be that the conscience of people on earth can move and change My sorrowful heart? Are the people on earth unable to tell Me of the unspeakable hardship within their hearts? The spirits and the Spirit once depended on each other, but because of the barriers of the flesh, people’s brains “lost control.” I once reminded people to come before Me—but My calls did not cause people to fulfill what I asked; they merely looked into the sky, eyes filled with tears, as if they bore unspeakable hardship, as if there was something standing in their way. Thus, they clasped their hands and bowed down beneath heaven in supplication to Me. Because I am merciful, I bestow My blessings among man, and in the blink of an eye, the moment of My personal advent among man arrives—yet man has long since forgotten his oath to Heaven. Is this not the very disobedience of man? Why does man always suffer from “amnesia”? Have I stabbed him? Have I struck down his body? I tell man of the feelings within My heart, and why does he always avoid Me? In people’s memories, it is as if they’ve lost something and it is nowhere to be found, but also as if their memories are inaccurate. Thus, people always suffer forgetfulness in their lives, and the days of the lives of all mankind are in disarray. Yet no one administers this, people do nothing but trample over each other, and murder each other, which has led to the state of disastrous defeat today, and caused all beneath the universe to collapse into the filthy water and mire, without any chance of salvation.
When I came among all people was the very moment when people became loyal to Me. At this time, the great red dragon also began to lay its murderous hands on people. I accepted the “invitation,” and brought the “letter of invitation” from man as I came to “sit at a banquet table” among man. When they saw Me, people paid Me no heed, for I did not adorn Myself with opulent clothes and had brought only My “identity card” to sit at table with man. There was no expensive make-up upon My face, no crown upon My head, and I wore but a pair of ordinary home-made shoes upon My feet. What disappointed people most was the lack of lipstick upon My mouth. Furthermore, I did not speak polite words, and My tongue was not the pen of a ready writer; instead, each of My words pierced the innermost heart of man, which gave people a much more “favorable” impression of My mouth. The foregoing was sufficient for people to give Me “special treatment,” and thus they treated Me as a fellow villager from the countryside who was without insight or wisdom. Yet when everyone handed over “gifts of money,” people still did not regard Me as honorable, but merely came before Me without any respect, dragging their heels, short of temper. When My hand reached out, they were immediately astonished, they knelt down, and they let out great shouts. They collected up all My “monetary gifts.” Because the amount was great, they instantly thought Me a millionaire and tore the ragged clothes from My body without My consent, replacing them with new clothes—yet this did not make Me happy. Because I was not accustomed to such an easy life, and despised this “first-class” treatment, because I was born of the holy house, and, it can be said, because I was born into “poverty,” I was not used to a life of luxury in which I was waited on hand and foot. I wish only that people can understand the feelings in My heart, that they can endure a little hardship in order to accept the uncomfortable truths from My mouth. Because I have never been able to talk of theory, or capable of using people’s secrets of socializing in order to associate with them, and because I am incapable of tailoring My words according to people’s countenance or their psychology, people have always loathed Me, have believed Me to be unworthy of interaction, and have said that I have a sharp tongue and always hurt people. Yet I have no choice: I once “studied” the psychology of man, once “emulated” the life philosophy of man, and once went to “language college” to learn the language of man, so that I might master the means by which people talk, and speak as befits their countenance—but although I expended much effort, and visited many “experts,” it all came to nothing. Never has there been anything of humanity in Me. For all these years, My efforts have never yielded the slightest effect, I have never had the slightest faculty in the language of man. Thus, the words of man that “hard work pays off” are “reflected” by Me, and as a result, these words come to an end on earth. Without people realizing it, this aphorism has been disproved by the God from heaven, sufficiently verifying that such words are untenable. Thus I apologize to man, but there is nothing to be done—who made Me so “stupid”? I am incapable of learning the language of man, of becoming proficient in life philosophy, of socializing with people. I only advise people to be forbearing, to suppress the anger within their hearts, to not hurt themselves because of Me. Who made us interact with each other? Who made us meet at this moment? Who made us have shared ideals?
My disposition runs throughout all of My words, yet people are incapable of grasping it in My words. They merely split hairs about what I say—and what use is that? Can their conceptions about Me make them perfect? Could the things on earth accomplish My will? I kept trying to teach people how to speak My words, but it was as if man was tongue-tied, and he was never able to learn how to speak My words as I would wish. I taught him mouth-to-mouth, yet he has never been able to learn. Only after this did I make a new discovery: How could the people on earth speak the words of heaven? Does this not violate the laws of nature? But, because of people’s zeal and inquisitiveness toward Me, I embarked on another part of work on man. I have never shamed man because of his deficiencies, but instead provide to man in accordance with what he lacks. It is only because of this that people have a somewhat favorable impression of Me, and I use this opportunity to gather people together once again, that they might enjoy another part of My riches. At this moment, people are once more immersed in happiness, cheers and laughter drifting around the rosy clouds in the sky. I open up man’s heart, and man immediately has new vitality, and he is unwilling to hide from Me anymore, for he has sampled the sweet taste of honey, and so he brings out all of his junk to be exchanged—as if I have become a garbage collection point, or a waste management station. Thus, after seeing the “advertisements” that have been posted, people come before Me and take part eagerly, for they seem to think they can acquire a few “souvenirs,” so they all send Me “letters,” that they might partake in the events I have set out. At this moment they are not fearful of losses, because the “capital” of these activities is not great, and so they dare to risk participation. If there were no souvenirs to be gained from taking part, people would leave the arena and ask for their money back, and would also work out the “interest” I owed them. It is because today’s living standards have increased, reaching a “modest level of prosperity” and achieving “modernization,” with the “senior cadre” personally “going to the countryside” to arrange work, that people’s faith has immediately multiplied many times—and because their “constitution” is becoming better and better, they look upon Me with admiration, and are willing to engage with Me in order to gain My trust.
April 11, 1992