Fleeing From the “Tiger’s Den” (Part 2) Audio Essay
I never expected that after just two days of peace, I would encounter Satan’s disturbance and coercion once again. One night, my mother, a few of my uncles and aunties as well as my third grandaunt came over in order to obstruct me from believing in. When I saw this situation, I became extremely angry. I thought, “What have I done? I just believe in true God; is this a mistake? Why are they going on and on about this?” At this time, my third grandaunt peculiarly said, “Nier, let’s go! Let’s go home to see your grandma.” When I heard my third grandaunt say this, I was surprised, “They are here to take me to my mother’s place. They want to lock me up with my grandma, who is clinically insane! How can they be my relatives? How can they be so heartless!” At this moment, my mother grabbed a rope and rushed toward me. She kneeled on the floor and tied my feet together. I became very anxious. I pushed at her hands at the same time as I yelled, “What are you doing? Why do you tie me up?” Upon seeing this, two of my uncles walked over and one of them pressed down on my shoulder so that I would not resist. At that moment, I was sitting on the sofa and I was unable to stand up. Seeing them like this, I urgently cried out to God in my heart, “God! They are trying to trap me. If they succeed, I will be unable to believe in You and I will not be able to go back to . God! Grant me faith and strength and give a way out for me!” After I finished praying, my body felt especially energetic. I struggled at the same time that I shouted, “What are you trying to do? Let me go! …” When they saw how ferociously I was resisting, they released me. I felt very thankful to God. I truly experienced how as long as you genuinely rely on God, you will see God’s deeds and you will also feel, in a very realistic manner, God at your side protecting and watching over you at all times. I thought, “In this environment, I must offer my true heart to God and I must thoroughly humiliate Satan.” So I staunchly said to them, “When it comes to other matters, I will listen to you. However, when it comes to believing in God I will only listen to God! I already believe firmly that Almighty God is the return of . Regardless of how you compel me, I will not be swayed!” Once I became resolved to follow God, I witnessed God’s actions again. One of my aunts said, “Do not tie her up. It is useless to tie her up. I can see that she believes firmly.” As a result, they dejectedly left. After they left, I instantly became limp and I felt that I was exhausted physically and mentally. I did not have an ounce of strength left. I lay down on my bed and drifted into sleep. The next morning, when I thought about what happened the night before, my emotions were still quite heavy. When I recalled the manner in which my relatives were treating me, I could not help but think, “Alas! My mother and my relatives have been deceived by the rumors spread by the priests and the church leaders. They continuously try to coerce me. When is all this going to end?” Then I thought back to the circumstances when I was together with my brothers and sisters. We together pursued , fulfilled duties and helped each other out. There was nobody bullying me around and I did not need to keep my guard up. I was very free and liberated. Each day was abundant and peaceful. On the other hand, presently, when I am confined in my home, I do not have any freedom whatsoever and each day I feel like I am on edge. I do not know when my relatives or the people from the former church will come. On good days, they lightly reprimand me. On bad days, they threaten and menace me. I am overwhelmed by pain and misery within. I really want to go back to the church and attend gatherings, sing hymns and praise God with my brothers and sisters …
Immediately following this incident, something happened that was even more unexpected. One day, my husband and I went out to buy things. After we returned home, I wanted to read God’s words on my MP5 player. However, I could not find it. I became so anxious that I paced back and forth in the room. I thought, “Where did my MP5 player go? I definitely kept it at home. Why can I not find it?” I suddenly thought my mother must have taken it away. I remembered that there was one day that my mother entered my room and saw me reading God’s word on the MP5 player. Afterward, she would frequently come to my house and search for things. I was certain that the reason my MP5 player could not be found was because she took it. I became very angry when I thought about this. I went to my mother’s house in a rage. When I entered the door, I saw that my mother was talking with my second grandaunt at that moment. I went over to her and said, “Mother, did you take my MP5 player? That is mine. If you took it, give it back to me right away.” I never expected that my mother would simply say, “I did not take your things.” When I saw her disdained look, I angrily said, “I kept my MP5 player at home. Nobody else would even touch it. You are the only person who constantly rummages through my things. It was definitely you that took it. Give it back to me!” My mother replied in a harsh tone of voice, “I will not give it back to you. You will never get it back from me!” Afterward, no matter how much I insisted, she would not give it back to me. I had no choice but to go home empty handed. On the way back home, I felt very miserable. I thought, “I no longer have my MP5 player. I cannot read God’s words anymore. In the past, even though my mother and other people disturbed me, I was able to read God’s words and have the guidance of God’s words. As a result, I was able to understand God’s intentions and have the faith and strength to withstand their attacks. Now, I do not have my MP5 player. What will I do? Without God’s words, isn’t it over for me?” The more I thought, the more directionless I felt and my spirit descended into a pit of negativity. I felt extremely miserable. At my weakest and most disheartening moment, God’s kind words enlightened me. A song of God’s words floated up in the ocean of my mind: “Today, most people don’t have that knowledge. They believe that suffering is without value, they are renounced by the world, their home life is troubled, they are not beloved of God, and their prospects are bleak. The suffering of some people reaches a certain point, and their thoughts turn to death. This is not the true love of God; such people are cowards, they have no perseverance, they are weak and powerless! They are weak and powerless! … Thus, during these last days you must bearto God. No matter how great your suffering, you should go on to the very end, and even at your last breath, still you must be faithful to God, and at the mercy of God; only this is truly loving God, and only this is the strong and resounding testimony” (“No Matter How Great Your Suffering, You Should Pursue to Love God” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). With the guidance of God’s words, I understood that God hoped that I would be able to bear witness for Him under these circumstances. Regardless of how difficult things got, I absolutely had to be loyal to God until the end and not lose faith in God. When I thought back on all the coercion that I had encountered, I realized: Each incident is a battle in the spiritual world. Satan was using all kinds of methods to cause me to break down bit by bit. Right now, it has snatched away my “life and spiritual nourishment.” Doesn’t it want to swallow up my soul? Satan is truly savage. I must not fall for its schemes. Even though my MP5 player is gone, I still have God. God will still enlighten me and guide me. I believe that as long as I rely on God at every moment, God will help me get through every difficulty and hardship. Regardless of what circumstances I face in the future, as long as I have a breath in my body, I must stand witness for God. God’s words once again guided me and gave me the faith I needed to carry forward.
Through experiencing these instances of coercion and hardships, I saw the power and authority of God’s words. Each time, I became very negative, weak, confused and perplexed, God’s words gave me the faith and strength I needed to see through Satan’s schemes and stand witness for God. At the same time, I was also able to see that God was at my side at every moment. He was my support and He opened up the way for me. My faith in God increased bit by bit. At the same time, my desire to leave my family became more and more intense. I really wanted to escape from this “tiger’s den” and go back to the church and my brothers and sisters. The Lordonce said, “And answering them, he said: Who is my mother and my brethren? … For whosoever shall do the will of God, he is my brother, and my sister, and mother” (Mak 3:33, 35). As a result, I prayed to God and entrusted Him with this matter. I asked God to guide me and I also looked for suitable opportunities. I thanked God for listening to my prayers. After a few days, under God’s guidance, I avoided my brother’s surveillance and successfully escaped from home. Once again, I returned to to live a church life and to fulfill duties to the best of my abilities. Up until then, more than a month of hardships had finally come to an end. The depression and trouble within my heart vanished like smoke in the air. Thank God for guiding me to break through Satan’s dark influence and escape from the “tiger’s den” and once again, return to God’s family.
This experience remains fresh in my memory. In this experience I vividly saw God’s love,, and I saw that God was at my side protecting me at every moment, saving me from being deceived and swallowed up by Satan. At the same time, this special experience also allowed me to learn how to distinguish the priests and the church leaders. They frenetically convicted and blasphemed Almighty God and started rumors and bore false witness to deceive me. They used all sorts of tricks to obstruct me from following Almighty God. From all their evil actions, I could see that they are stumbling blocks for us to accept God’s work of and to be raptured into the kingdom of heaven. They are satanic demons that are here to devour our souls! It was at this time that I finally understood the true meaning of the following words that Almighty God spoke, “Believers and unbelievers are not compatible but rather opposed to one another” (“God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I recognized that even though the priests, the church leaders, nuns, the members of the church and my mother on the surface, they do not understand God’s voice and they do not recognize God. They refuse to accept the work of the returned God. Likewise, God does not recognize their faith. In God’s eyes, they are unbelievers. They are the tares revealed by God’s work in the last days. They are in essence demons and antichrists that oppose God. Additionally, I also saw that the coercion from family members and the disturbance of religious people are all attacks that originate from Satan. They are intense spiritual battles. Satan wants to use these to disturb me, cause me to renounce the , betray God, enter into its “embrace,” lose God’s last instance of salvation for mankind and be destroyed along with it in hell. However, God’s wisdom is exercised based on Satan’s plots. When Satan attacks and disturbs me, God is still guiding me and leading me at every moment so that I can experience God’s words, learn how to distinguish and gain insight through God’s words, and my faith in God can also be perfected. This will allow my faith in God to become true and resolute and not weak. I thank God for guiding me and helping me understand so much truth in such a short time as a month. Now I know what is good and what is evil, what is beauty and what is ugliness. My faith in God has been hardened and I have become closer to God. Pain is truly God’s blessing! In my future life of faith, I am willing to experience even more of God’s work and I am willing to follow God all the way until the end!