By Fuli, China

Since I was young, I’ve always had a special fondness for drawing, and back in school, I always made time for it. My grandma and cousin used to praise my work, saying I must’ve been an artist in my past life, and my teachers and classmates praised my artworks too. My heart swelled with delight. I saw that when famous artists held exhibitions, lots of people, drawn in by their reputation, would come to see their works and sing their praises, and I really envied that. I dreamed that once I grew up, I too could hold an exhibition like them someday, and that others would admire and look up to me. What a glorious life that would be! Even imagining it felt wonderful. Later on, I began posting my work online, and gradually, I gained some fans. Some wanted me to teach them, while others asked about prices, and some spoke many words of praise. My vanity was greatly satisfied, and I became even more convinced that I’d been born to make a living off art. I believed I’d surely become a famous artist one day. What a glorious life that would be! In the summer of 2021, I accepted God’s work in the last days. Once, I heard a sister fellowship that God’s house needed people with all kinds of skills to do duties, and that if one could contribute to the spreading of the gospel of the kingdom, it would be such an honor. So I quickly quit school, filled with hope of doing art-related duties. The leader arranged for me to screen sermons and I felt very resistant, thinking, “Why wasn’t I assigned art-related duties? I’m not good at screening sermons, and I can’t stand out this way.” Later, I learned that the church didn’t need more artists at that time, and also that my art style wasn’t needed in God’s house at the moment. I was very disappointed when I heard this, and I told myself I needed to submit first.

After a while, many problems appeared in my sermon screening, and there was a lot I needed to learn. I felt that this duty was difficult, and I thought, “If I were in the art team, I’d definitely be making faster progress than I am at the moment, not like now, where I’m busy every day but see no results, and no one can see my value. Also, after several months without drawing, my hands are already out of practice; what if I regress and can’t meet the requirements when God’s house needs talented people for art later? I have to find ways to practice more—maybe I’ll still get a chance to shine in the future!” Gradually, I became less attentive to sermon screening. Sometimes, though I’d sit in front of the computer reading sermons, I’d be thinking about how to render the texture of a certain object, and when there wasn’t much work to do, I’d pick up a pen and start sketching. I even downloaded a drawing app on my phone and would draw whenever I had free time. Because my heart wasn’t in my duty, the sermon work I was responsible for produced almost no results for over half a year. Later, I opened up about my state to my sisters, and they fellowshipped with me that doing one’s duty can’t be based on personal preference. They also said the church had more than enough artists at this point, and that I should focus on my text-based duties. I felt very disappointed to hear this, thinking, “If I can never draw again, won’t my hard work of more than a decade have been for nothing? If I can’t do art-related duties, what else can I do? What other duty can allow me to stand out?” I sank into a negative and dispirited state, and I felt apathetic toward my duty. I was always thinking about the good old days when I could draw, and sometimes I even felt like I was just passing the time with my duty. As I didn’t attend to my proper duties and didn’t bother to learn the skills involved, there were no results in my duties, so in January 2023, I was reassigned.

In April 2024, I was elected as a church leader. I thought of how irreverent I’d been in my duty, and about how God was now giving me another chance by allowing me to do the duty of a leader. I knew this was God elevating me, and I resolved to do this duty properly. I responded to letters that needed replies as soon as possible every day, and I fellowshipped to resolve the states and problems of the brothers and sisters. One day, the leader wrote to us and said they needed talented people for color grading. My heart began to stir again, and I thought, “This is not fine art, but it might be a stepping stone to realizing my dream of art.” Since I hadn’t studied color grading, I couldn’t take on that duty. But I didn’t get discouraged. I thought, “Maybe God’s house will need talented people for art again in the future, and then I’ll still have a chance. I can learn art styles I’m not good at and pick up more drawing techniques. Then I’ll definitely have hope to do art-related duties in the future.” So in my duty, I would sneak a few moments from my busy schedule to watch videos on drawing techniques, and sometimes, two or three hours would pass without me even realizing it. To make more time for studying art, on several occasions, I’d put off responding to letters that I could’ve handled that same evening until the next day. I’d also reply to letters perfunctorily, and sometimes I’d stay up late and be drowsy during the day. I felt really guilty, and I thought I shouldn’t delay my duty for the sake of drawing. But after doing a few drawings and seeing some progress in my skills, I felt like I was a step closer to my dream, so even the small amount of guilt I’d felt disappeared. Because my heart was entirely set on drawing, I was perfunctory in implementing work, the difficulties in preaching the gospel went unresolved, and the cultivation of people also saw no progress. A sister pointed out that I was apathetic toward my duty and that I lacked loyalty. Her words awakened me, so I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me to understand my problem.

In my seeking, I read God’s words. “There is an innate instinct in people. If they never know what their strong points are, what their interests and hobbies are, they feel that they lack a sense of presence, are unable to realize their own value, and have a sense of worthlessness. They are unable to demonstrate their value. However, once a person discovers their interests and hobbies, they will turn them into a bridge or a springboard to realize their self-worth. They are willing to pay the price to pursue their aspirations, to live a more valuable life, to become a useful individual, to stand out in the crowd and be seen, to be admired and validated, and to become an extraordinary person. In this way, they can live a fulfilling life, have a successful career in this world, and have their aspirations and desires fulfilled, thus living a valuable life. Looking around at the bustling crowds of people, there are only a few who are as naturally gifted as themselves, who have set lofty aspirations and desires, and who ultimately have achieved these things through relentless efforts. They have built a career doing what they love, attained the fame, gain, and prestige they desired, demonstrated their value, and realized their self-worth. This is the pursuit of people” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (8)). “You should learn to obey when your duty assignment is adjusted. After you have trained in your new duty for a while and have achieved results in performing it, you’ll find that you are more suited to performing this duty, and you’ll realize that choosing duties based on your own preferences was a mistake. Doesn’t this resolve the issue? Most importantly, the house of God arranges for people to perform certain duties not based on people’s preferences, but based on the needs of the work and whether someone’s performing that duty can achieve results. Would you say that the house of God should arrange duties based on individual preferences? Should it use people based on the condition of satisfying their personal preferences? (No.) Which of these aligns with the principles of the house of God in using people? Which aligns with the truth principles? It is choosing people according to the needs of the work in God’s house and the results of people performing their duties. You have some penchants and interests, and you have a bit of a wish to perform your duties, but should your wishes, interests, and penchants take precedence over the work of the house of God? If you doggedly insist, saying, ‘I must do this work; if I’m not allowed to do it, I don’t want to live, I don’t want to perform my duty. If I’m not allowed to do this work, I won’t have enthusiasm for doing anything else, nor will I give my full effort to it,’ doesn’t this show there is a problem with your attitude toward performing duty? Isn’t that completely lacking in conscience and reason?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). From God’s words, I came to understand that the reason I was so attached to my interests and hobbies was because I had always sought to realize my own value, and because I wanted to stand out and have a sense of presence. Looking back, when I was a child, my artwork was often praised by those around me, so I felt like I had found a platform to showcase myself, and I dreamed of growing up to become an artist. When the leader assigned me to screen sermons, I was displeased and unwilling. Especially when there were difficulties in screening sermons, my duties didn’t yield good results, and I had no chance to show off, I became even less motivated to learn, and only thought about how to improve my drawing skills. I’d set aside the sermons I was supposed to screen and secretly practice drawing instead, sometimes even drawing into the early morning, all in hopes of one day being able to realize my aspiration and to keep receiving others’ praise and admiration. When I found out that God’s house didn’t need artists for the time being, and I had no opportunity to show off, I began to give up on myself, feel negative, and slack off in my duty. I even felt that my duty was a waste of time, and as a result, the sermon work was delayed. God says: “You have some penchants and interests, and you have a bit of a wish to perform your duties, but should your wishes, interests, and penchants take precedence over the work of the house of God?” I felt deeply guilty. The brothers and sisters saw that I had just started training in text-based duty, and kept tolerating my shortcomings. They’d spent ten months cultivating me, and they’d often fellowshipped the truth with me to resolve my states, hoping for me to quickly shoulder this duty. But what did I do? I spent a lot of my time drawing, and I treated such important work perfunctorily, dragging my feet time and again, and in the end, I delayed the church’s work. I always used to think that pursuing aspirations wasn’t a corrupt disposition and I didn’t need to focus on solving it, but now I truly realized that to try and satisfy my interests and hobbies and realize my personal value, I’d treated my duty perfunctorily and carelessly. I was pursuing my own aspirations at the expense of the church’s work by doing this. If God hadn’t revealed this, I never would have realized how harmful my pursuit of aspirations and desires could be to the church’s work.

Later, the brothers and sisters reminded me that I should understand the manifestations of my pursuit of fame and gain, so I looked for God’s words on this subject. I read these words of God: “Antichrists’ cherishment of their reputation and status goes beyond that of normal people, and is something within their disposition essence; it is not a temporary interest, or the transient effect of their surroundings—it is something within their life, their bones, and so it is their essence. This is to say that in everything antichrists do, their first consideration is their own reputation and status, nothing else. For antichrists, reputation and status are their life, and their lifelong goal. In all they do, their first consideration is: ‘What will happen to my status? And to my reputation? Will doing this give me a good reputation? Will it elevate my status in people’s minds?’ That is the first thing they think about, which is ample proof that they have the disposition and essence of antichrists; that is why they consider things this way. It can be said that for antichrists, reputation and status are not some additional requirement, much less things which are external to them that they could do without. They are part of the nature of antichrists, they are in their bones, in their blood, they are innate to them. Antichrists are not indifferent toward whether they possess reputation and status; this is not their attitude. Then, what is their attitude? Reputation and status are intimately connected to their daily lives, to their daily state, to what they pursue on a daily basis. And so for antichrists, status and reputation are their life. No matter how they live, no matter what environment they live in, no matter what work they do, no matter what they pursue, what their goals are, what their life’s direction is, it all revolves around having a good reputation and a high status. And this aim does not change; they can never put aside such things. This is the true face of antichrists, and their essence. You could put them in a primeval forest deep in the mountains, and still they would not put aside their pursuit of reputation and status. You can put them among any group of people, and all they can think about is still reputation and status. Although antichrists also believe in God, they see the pursuit of reputation and status as equivalent to faith in God and place these two things on equal footing. Which is to say, as they walk the path of faith in God, they also pursue their own reputation and status” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). God exposes how antichrists really cherish reputation and status, and no matter what duty they perform or what they do, they only consider whether it can elevate their reputation and prestige, and they treat reputation and status as their very life. This was exactly how I was. From a young age, I was inspired when I saw how so many people admired and worshiped famous artists, and so thoughts like “Stand out above the rest” and “Make a name for oneself” became deeply rooted in my heart, and becoming a renowned artist became my dream. I sought to have my works spread throughout the world and to be remembered for generations. When I learned that my talents could be put to great use in God’s house, I immediately dropped out of school, hoping to use my duty to fulfill my artistic dreams. When a sister said that artists weren’t currently needed, I still refused to give up, and I kept finding time to practice and improve my skills. I treated my duty perfunctorily and half-heartedly just to keep up drawing practice. I saw that all I ever thought about was how to stand out, and about how to gain a good reputation and high status, and if a duty couldn’t enhance my reputation and status, I’d resist and reject it. My state was no different from that of an antichrist who pursues reputation and status. Whether I was being positive or negative, it was all driven by anxiety over gains and losses related to reputation and status. When I served as a church leader and saw God’s house needed talented people for color grading, my desire for reputation and status came bubbling up again, and to keep improving my drawing skills, I started staying up late practicing. I became increasingly lax and even negligent in my duty, and as a result, brothers’ and sisters’ issues couldn’t be resolved in good time, and there was little progress in the various works of the church. My brothers and sisters tried to help me many times, but I didn’t take their advice to heart, and in the end, the church’s work remained ineffective for a long time. Thinking about it now, I realized that my not doing art-related duties had been arranged and predestined by God, and it contained His good intention. It was to keep me from continuing down the wrong path of pursuing reputation and status. God wasn’t taking away my interests and hobbies—He was saving me. After I understood these, I felt quite guilty, and I also felt uneasy about having lived in a rebellious state for so long. If I stubbornly continued pursuing reputation and status and didn’t do my duty properly, I would lose the chance to do my duty and I’d be eliminated by God.

Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “The pursuits, aspirations, and desires people have established for the sake of their own interests and hobbies, to put it plainly, ultimately lead them to a path of pursuing fame and gain. Although they may feel that, after attaining their ultimate goals, they have realized their self-worth, earned a sense of presence, and gained and possessed both fame and gain, they remain ignorant about the future, their destination, and the value of human existence that people should truly understand. As they reach old age, they increasingly feel that everything they ever pursued is terribly elusive and hollow. This hollowness and elusiveness bring with them waves of emptiness and apprehension. It is only in old age that people realize that the aspirations and desires they pursued have only served to satisfy their vanity and provide temporary fame and gain, which are nothing more than a fleeting consolation. Such consolation quickly turns into a kind of unease and apprehension” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (8)). From God’s words I understood that when people pursue interests and hobbies to realize their own aspirations and desires, even if they gain others’ admiration, it is only momentary glory, and all it can do is briefly fill people’s emptiness and satisfy their vanity. When people face death, there is only unease and apprehension. Thinking back to when I used to draw, I would spend hours and hours finishing a piece and posting it online, and in the end, all I’d receive were comments of praise that I’d read in under a minute. What I felt was only a fleeting sense of satisfaction. And for that brief satisfaction, I would expend even more time creating better works. But was it really worth it? I often felt jealous, pained, and anxious because my talent for drawing was inferior to others’, and when my work received some praise, I would get really happy and excited. But later, when it ended up getting buried online, I would feel lost and empty again. Then I thought about those famous artists—though some of their works became widely known and they gained people’s admiration and worship, didn’t they still end up dying in emptiness? They didn’t understand any truth. I also recalled a story I’d read: Alexander the Great is reputed to be one of the world’s most successful commanders, attaining both fame and gain. Yet before he died, he instructed that his hands be placed outside his coffin to show the world that no matter how high one’s status, or how much wealth, fame, gain, or prestige one has, in the face of death, a person still leaves this world empty-handed, and they can’t take anything with them. At this point, by reading God’s words, I came to understand that what is most meaningful is for people to fulfill the duty of created beings while alive, and that if I continued to pursue fame and gain, then I would be walking a path of emptiness, and ultimately, a path to destruction. Thinking of this, I felt the pursuit of reputation and status to be utterly meaningless.

In my seeking, I read more of God’s words. “Some people ask, ‘Since I can’t realize my pursuits, aspirations, and desires, and I’ve let them all go, what should I do about my interests and hobbies?’ That is your own business. Though you may have interests and hobbies, as long as they do not disturb your normal pursuit, do not interfere with performing your duty and completing your mission, and do not affect your life goals or the path you are taking, then you can keep these interests and hobbies. … Why does God give people certain interests and hobbies? It is to make your human life a bit more rich and colorful, so that your life may be accompanied by certain elements of entertainment and leisure without affecting you walking the right path in life, making your life less dry, less dull and monotonous. For example, when it is time to sing hymns at gatherings, someone who is able to perform a musical instrument can accompany the singing by playing the piano or guitar. If no one could perform, then everyone would be deprived of this delight. If there is someone to provide an accompaniment, then the result will be much better than singing without accompaniment, and everyone will enjoy it. At the same time, it broadens horizons, enriches experiences, life gains more substance, people feel that life is more beautiful, and their moods grow more cheerful. This is beneficial to both their normal humanity and the path they take in belief in God. For instance, if you enjoy drawing, then when life for the brothers and sisters has grown monotonous, you can make humorous drawings, and depict certain people’s negative expressions and faces, and negative remarks, as witty and humorous cartoons, then compile them into a little booklet and share it with everyone, including those Negative Nancies. When they see it and say, ‘Yikes, is this a drawing of me?’ they’ll chuckle and feel happy, and they won’t be negative anymore. Isn’t this a good thing? It didn’t take too much effort, yet it helped them come out of their negativity rather easily. In one’s free time, drawing, playing musical instruments, discussing art, or exploring acting and performing various characters, including different kinds of negative people, different kinds of arrogant individuals, and the various manifestations of antichrists who act arbitrarily, can help people improve their discernment and broaden their horizons. Isn’t this a good thing? How are these interests and hobbies not useful? They are beneficial to people. However, if you give rise to aspirations and desires because of your interests and hobbies, and they have the effect of steering you toward a path of no return, then they are not good for you. But if you apply your interests and hobbies to your life in a way that is insightful to your humanity, makes your life more abundant and colorful, and makes you more witty and cheerful, living more well-nourished, free, and liberated, then your interests and hobbies will have a positive effect, benefiting everyone and providing you with edification, while not affecting the performance of your duty and completion of your mission. Of course, to some extent they will assist you in fulfilling your duty” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (8)). “Those who have a strength should not be proud, and those who do not have a strength should not be jealous. What God gives, no one can take away—even if you don’t want it, you can’t refuse it. God has simply made you skilled in this, and through this strength, He provides you with a means of livelihood or a trade to sustain your life. This is God’s grace” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (10)). After reading God’s words, I understood what God’s intention is when He gives people talents and hobbies. In the past, I always thought that God had given me the talent for art, and that the only way for me to fulfill my function was by doing art-related duties, and that doing other duties wasn’t my mission. But through reading God’s words, I finally realized that this view was fallacious. God predestines people’s talents, interests, and hobbies to enrich their lives, so that people’s lives aren’t dull and monotonous. For example, when I was in school, I would draw comics whenever I had free time, and this would relax my tense mind and ease my troubled mood. In another respect, talents, interests, and hobbies are also a means of livelihood granted by God, enabling them to have a skill to earn money and support themselves in this world. God gives people interests and hobbies to help them live better lives, but this doesn’t mean that they must do duties related to these interests or work in related fields. I read in God’s words: “What you have, others cannot take away; what you don’t have, you cannot seize or obtain by vying for it” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (12)). One of my concerns was dispelled. I’d always worried that if I didn’t practice drawing for a long time, I would regress, and then I’d be unable to do art-related duties. In fact, whether or not I could do this kind of duty was entirely predestined by God, and all I needed to do was submit to God’s arrangements. Since I was now doing the duty of a leader, I should shoulder this duty and do my best to fulfill it, and I could use my interests and hobbies to relax and have fun in my free time, but when I was busy with my duties, my focus should be on my duties.

Later, I read God’s words and gained a path of practice. God says: “If you haven’t yet pursued the truth, and you’re merely thinking about letting go in your heart, that isn’t at all the same as truly letting go. You preparing to let go and truly letting go are two separate things—there is still a difference. Therefore, the most important thing is to begin pursuing the truth, and that should not change no matter when—it is the most important thing. … All normal people have aspirations and desires, especially those who have a few gifts or strengths. Where is there a person who is happy being lonely and willingly resigns themselves to living a mundane life? Nowhere is there a person like this. Everyone wants to stand out, to make something of themselves, to have a certain aura about them, and to make their life more comfortable. If you want to let go of personal aspirations and desires, attain salvation, and live out a meaningful life, then you must accept the truth, pursue the truth, and submit to God’s work—this way you will have hope. Listening to God’s words and following God is the only way” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (8)). God’s words provide us with a clear path. The only way to let go of these aspirations and desires is to pursue the truth, viewing these interests and hobbies according to God’s words, and placing ourselves in the right position. Even if I have certain strengths or gifts, in God’s eyes, I am just one of His created beings, nothing special. In God’s view, a person’s value is not measured by how much talent they have, but whether they can pursue the truth and whether they have true submission to God. If a person can submit to God and fulfill their duty, they are valuable in God’s eyes, but if a person doesn’t pursue the truth or submit to God, then even if they achieve their aspirations and desires and widespread fame, they are still utterly worthless in God’s eyes. Whatever duty God arranged for me to do, I should let go of my desires and demands and fulfill my current duty. This is the reason that a created being should have. When I realized this, I prayed to God, willing to let go of reputation and status and devote myself to my duty, and make use of my limited time to ponder God’s words more, and to think more about how to solve the issues of my brothers and sisters. When I practiced in this way, I was able to identify some problems in the work, seek the truth to resolve them, and also make some gains.

In mid-November, I received a letter from the leader asking for some of my artwork, saying that God’s house needed talented people for drawing. When I read this letter, I couldn’t help but feel a stirring in my heart. This was truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me! I really wanted to do art-related duties, but I knew that my current duties were quite busy and that I couldn’t afford to delay them, so I prayed to God, asking Him to calm my heart, so that I could treat my interests and hobbies correctly without being driven by my own choices, and be able to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. After praying, my heart was much calmer, and I could focus on my duty with peace of mind. When I wasn’t busy with my duty, I quickly got to work on the artwork I needed to submit. A few days after I submitted my artwork, I was surprised to receive a letter from the leader saying I could join the art team for training. When I received this news, I felt both happy and indebted to God. I thought back on how I’d been picky and irreverent in my duties, and I felt even more ashamed. I also understood that no matter what duty we do, God’s intention is always to save and perfect people, and whether I would continue to do art-related duties or be reassigned to other duties, I was willing to do my best to fulfill my duties and to walk the path of pursuing the truth. Thank God!