By Qin Mu, China

In April 2023, the text-based work supervisor was dismissed because she was pursuing fame and status and disrupting and disturbing the text-based work. I was nominated as the new supervisor. I remembered that many years ago, I had been arrested by the CCP for believing in God. The police shut me in a guesthouse and interrogated me in secret for ten days. Looking to save my own skin, I sold out the two sisters who had been arrested with me, thereby transgressing. I felt that I was unworthy of such an important duty, so I expressed my misgivings. The leader fellowshipped with me about how God does not look at a person’s momentary transgressions, but evaluates them comprehensively based on the context and nature of their actions. What’s key is whether the person has truly repented. She asked me to treat my transgression correctly. I was very moved, and I also became willing to cherish this opportunity to train. Unexpectedly, just a few days after I started this duty, another supervisor, Sun Jia, was also dismissed for pursuing fame and status and for not doing her duty according to principles. For the next few days, it felt as if a gigantic boulder were pressing down on my heart. “I’ve just started this duty and I’m not familiar with the work yet. We’re short on text-based workers, some brothers and sisters are in bad states, and the work isn’t progressing. With so many problems in the work, can someone with my caliber shoulder the work? Although I’ve been doing text-based duties for the last few years, being a supervisor is different. One must have good caliber and work capability, and also grasp principles. But my caliber and work capability are both average, and I also lack professional knowledge. How can I take on such an important job? I’ve already committed a serious transgression, and if I cause further hindrance or harm to the work, I wouldn’t be able to bear this responsibility. If the problem is serious, I might not have a good outcome or destination.” Thinking of this, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I was so worried that I couldn’t sleep at night. Over the next few days, I couldn’t even muster up any enthusiasm for my duty, and I’d just passively do the tasks I had at hand. The leader, seeing me spending my days sighing, asked about my state. I told her about my state and difficulties, and she fellowshipped with me, drawing on God’s words as she did. My state improved a little.

During my devotionals, I looked for God’s words that addressed my state. Almighty God says: “When Noah did as God instructed, he did not know what God’s intentions were. He did not know what God wanted to accomplish. God had only given him a command and instructed him to do something, and without much explanation, Noah went ahead and did it. He did not try to secretly figure out God’s desires, nor did he resist God or show insincerity. He just went and did it accordingly with a pure and simple heart. Whatever God had him do, he did, and submitting and listening to God’s word was the belief that underpinned his actions. That was how straightforwardly and simply he dealt with what God entrusted. His essence—the essence of his actions was submission, not second-guessing, not resisting, and moreover, not thinking of his own personal interests or his gains and losses. Further, when God said He would destroy the world with a flood, Noah did not ask when or ask what would become of things, and he certainly did not ask God how He was going to destroy the world. He simply did as God instructed. However God wanted it to be made and made with what, he did exactly as God asked and also commenced action immediately. He acted according to God’s instructions with an attitude of wanting to satisfy God. Was he doing it to help himself avoid the disaster? No. Did he ask God how much longer it would be before the world was to be destroyed? He did not. Did he ask God or did he know how long it would take to build the ark? He did not know that either. He simply submitted, listened, and acted accordingly” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I). As I pondered Noah’s experience, I felt both moved and ashamed. When Noah accepted God’s commission to build the ark, he had never even seen what an ark looked like. He knew there would be many difficulties in the process of building the ark, but with God’s commission before him, Noah didn’t consider these things, nor did he wallow in difficulties or stagnate. Instead, he submitted and obeyed, and he prepared the materials to build the ark according to God’s requirements. Noah didn’t consider his personal gains or losses; he only considered how to build the ark as quickly as possible according to God’s requirements so that God’s heart could be comforted. Noah’s character was truly good! Noah’s attitude of simple submission to God’s commission made me feel embarrassed and ashamed about my failings. I thought about my attitude when I faced difficulties in my duty, and about how it couldn’t compare to Noah’s at all. Although there were some actual difficulties in the work, these weren’t unsolvable. For example, the lack of text-based workers could be resolved by coordinating with other churches; the poor states of the text-based workers could be resolved by fellowshipping with them on God’s words; and my average caliber and lack of work capability could be addressed by cooperating with the leader and my brothers and sisters. All these difficulties could be resolved. But when faced with these difficulties, I didn’t tackle them head-on and practically resolve them to move the work forward. Instead, I worried that I would delay the work and end up being held responsible. I only considered my personal gains and losses. I didn’t consider God’s intentions at all, nor did I consider what my duty and responsibility were. My humanity was truly poor! With humanity like mine, I was simply not worthy of taking on such an important job. I felt very self-reproachful, and I prayed to God, “Oh God, there is weakness in my heart when I am faced with these difficulties in my duty. Please guide me, and give me faith and resolve. I am willing to rely on You in experiencing this.” After praying, I quickly looked for text-based workers from various churches. After a while, the personnel for text-based work had basically been reassigned, and the leaders had chosen a new supervisor to cooperate with me. Through everyone’s actual cooperation, the text-based work gradually improved.

But the good times didn’t last long. After a while, the results of the work began to decline. Just at that moment, I received a letter from the leaders, pointing out that we were not focusing on cultivating people, and that the quality of the recently edited sermons was not very good. We were asked to analyze the source of the problems. Seeing the leaders’ letter, my heart suddenly became tense. “So many problems have been exposed in the work now. It’s because I, the supervisor, haven’t led well or done the final checks properly. It seems my caliber is still too poor for me to shoulder this work!” I then thought of the previous supervisor, who had been dismissed for pursuing fame and status and causing disruptions and disturbances to the work. Although I hadn’t intentionally caused disruptions and disturbances, if my poor caliber paralyzed the work, wouldn’t that also be a transgression? The more I thought, the more negative I became, and I felt weak all over. I determined that I was really not supervisor material, and should step down and let someone more capable take over. That would at least show some self-awareness. I missed the days when I was just a team member, when the supervisor worried about everything and I didn’t have to take any responsibility. Although I knew such ideas were wrong, I couldn’t control my thoughts. At that time, a letter needed an urgent reply, but I just stared at the computer, unable to quiet my heart. Watching the time slip by, I realized that living in such a state would affect the work, so I quickly prayed to God, “Oh God, seeing so many problems and deviations in the work, I constantly want to shrink back. I know this is not in accordance with Your intentions. Please guide me to understand myself and to come out of this incorrect state.”

After praying, I read God’s words: “Man’s performance of his duty is, in actuality, the accomplishment of all that is inherent within man, which is to say, that which is possible for man. It is then that his duty is fulfilled. The defects of man during his service are gradually reduced through progressive experience and the process of his undergoing judgment; they do not hinder or affect man’s duty. Those who cease to serve or yield and fall back for fear that there may be drawbacks to their service are the most cowardly of all. If people cannot express what they ought to express during service or achieve what is inherently possible for them, and instead go through the motions, they have lost the function that a created being should have. Such people are what are known as ‘mediocrities’; they are useless refuse. How can such people properly be called created beings? Are they not corrupt beings that shine on the outside but are rotten within? … Those who do not fulfill their duty are very rebellious against God, and owe much to Him, yet they turn around and lambaste that God is wrong. How could such kind of man be worthy of being made perfect? Is this not the precursor to being eliminated and punished? People who do not do their duty before God are already guilty of the most heinous of crimes, for which even death is an insufficient punishment, yet they have the gall to argue with God and match themselves against Him. What is the worth of perfecting such people? When people fail to fulfill their duty, they should feel guilt and indebtedness; they ought to hate their weakness and uselessness, their rebelliousness and corruption, and moreover, ought to give their life to God. Only then are they created beings who truly love God, and only such people are worthy of enjoying the blessings and promise of God, and of being made perfect by Him” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). God says that it is normal for there to be deviations and flaws in people’s duties, and as long as they recognize them and can turn things around in time, He will not condemn them for it. But if someone shrinks away in cowardice when deviations and flaws appear in their duty, or even spouts a bunch of twisted reasoning and stops doing their duty, such a person lacks humanity and reason and is detestable to God. If they do not repent, they will ultimately be eliminated by God. God’s words of judgment pierced my heart. I had already harmed the work by not doing it well, and now that the problems were exposed, I wasn’t in a hurry to solve them and correct the deviations. Instead, my heart was only considering my personal interests, afraid of being held responsible for paralyzing the work, so I wanted to get rid of my duty like a hot potato. I was too selfish and base! In fact, the results of the text-based work had declined, and when the leaders pointed out the problems and deviations in the work, they were practically teaching me how to do the work. I should have reflected on and summarized these problems and deviations with everyone to move the work forward. But not only did I not reflect and summarize, or feel guilty and self-reproachful for not doing my duty well, I also argued back in my heart, thinking that God hadn’t given me good caliber, and, hiding behind the pretext of stepping down in favor of someone more capable, I wanted to shirk my duty. I even thought I had self-awareness. But now I see that this wasn’t having self-awareness in the slightest. I was just being unscrupulous and abandoning my duty! I thought about how the leaders pointed out that we didn’t focus on cultivating people, which was a fact. The brothers and sisters had just started training and didn’t grasp the principles, so we should have studied and communicated together, learning from each other’s strengths to make up for our weaknesses. The leaders pointed out that the quality of the sermons we edited was not good, which was also a fact. My own understanding of the truth was shallow, and I couldn’t see through to the essence of the problems, so I lacked strength in solving them. The leaders pointing this out was a reminder to me! So, I quickly communicated with my brothers and sisters about the problems the leader had pointed out. Everyone also recognized the deviations and flaws in their duties and was willing to turn things around. From then on, we had a direction and goal in our duties.

During my spiritual devotions, I continued to reflect, “Why is it that every time I encounter difficulties and problems in my work, my heart is so turbulent, and I even want to escape my duty?” I read God’s words: “Some people are afraid of taking responsibility while performing their duty. If the church gives them a job to do, they will first consider whether the job requires them to take responsibility, and if it does, they will not accept the job. Their conditions for performing a duty are, first, that it must be a slack job; second, that it is not busy or tiring; and third, that no matter what they do, they do not take any responsibility. This is the only kind of duty they take on. What sort of a person is this? Is this not a slippery, deceitful person? They do not want to shoulder even the smallest amount of responsibility. They even fear that leaves will break their skull when they fall from trees. What duty can a person like this perform? What use could they have in the house of God? The work of the house of God has to do with the work of battling Satan, as well as spreading the gospel of the kingdom. What duty does not entail responsibilities? Would you say that being a leader carries responsibility? Are their responsibilities not all the greater, and must they not take responsibility all the more? Regardless of whether you preach the gospel, testify, make videos, and so on—no matter what work you do—so long as it pertains to the truth principles, it carries with it responsibilities. If the performance of your duty is unprincipled, it will affect the work of God’s house, and if you are afraid of taking responsibility, then you cannot perform any duty. Is someone who fears taking responsibility in performing their duty cowardly, or is there a problem with their disposition? You must be able to tell the difference. The fact is that this is not an issue of cowardice. If that person were after wealth, or they were doing something in their own interest, how could they be so brave? They would take on any risk. But when they do things for the church, for God’s house, they take on no risk at all. Such people are selfish and vile, the most treacherous of all. Anyone who does not take responsibility in performing a duty is not the least bit sincere to God, to say nothing of their loyalty. What sort of person dares to take responsibility? What sort of person has the courage to bear a heavy burden? Someone who takes the lead and goes bravely forth at the most crucial moment in the work of God’s house, who is not afraid to bear a heavy responsibility and endure great hardship when they see the work that is most important and crucial. That is someone loyal to God, a good soldier of Christ. Is it the case that everyone who fears taking responsibility in their duty does so because they do not understand the truth? No; it is a problem in their humanity. They have no sense of justice or responsibility, they are selfish and vile people, not true-hearted believers in God, and they do not accept the truth in the least. For this reason, they cannot be saved. Believers in God must pay a great price in order to gain the truth, and they will encounter many obstacles to practicing it. They must forsake things, abandon their fleshly interests, and endure some suffering. Only then will they be able to put the truth into practice. So, can one who fears taking responsibility practice the truth? They certainly cannot practice the truth, let alone gain it. They are afraid of practicing the truth, of incurring a loss to their interests; they are afraid of being humiliated, of disparagement, and of judgment, and they do not dare to practice the truth. Consequently, they cannot gain it, and no matter how many years they believe in God, they cannot attain His salvation. Those who can perform a duty in God’s house must be people who have a sense of burden when it comes to the work of the church, who take responsibility, who uphold the truth principles, and who can suffer and pay the price. If one is lacking in these areas, they are unfit to perform a duty, and they do not possess the conditions for the performance of duty. … If you protect yourself whenever something befalls you and leave yourself an escape route, a back door, are you putting the truth into practice? This is not practicing the truth—it is being sneaky. You are performing your duty in the house of God now. What is the first principle of performing a duty? It is that you must first perform that duty with your whole heart, sparing no effort, and protect the interests of God’s house. This is a truth principle, one that you should put into practice. Protecting oneself by leaving oneself an escape route, a back door, is the principle of practice followed by nonbelievers, and their most elevated philosophy. Considering oneself first in all things and placing one’s own interests before all else, not thinking of others, having no connection with the interests of God’s house and the interests of others, thinking of one’s own interests first and then thinking of an escape route—is that not what a nonbeliever is? This is precisely what a nonbeliever is. This sort of person is not fit to perform a duty” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). I recognized from God’s words that the reason I had such great turmoil in my heart whenever deviations or difficulties appeared in my work was mainly because I was always afraid of taking responsibility in my duty; it was because my selfish and deceitful disposition was causing trouble. Faced with personnel assignments and difficulties and problems in the work, my first thought was that text-based work is an important work of God’s house, and that if I couldn’t shoulder the duty of a supervisor and delayed the work, I would be held responsible. Although I didn’t dare to abandon my duty, my heart always felt that this duty was too risky. Not to mention the worry and suffering, if the results of the work were poor or if there were deviations or flaws, at the very least I would be dismissed; if I accumulated too many transgressions, I wouldn’t have a good outcome and destination. Thinking of this, I saw this duty as a burden, a load, and wanted to shirk it. I also had no desire to solve the problems and difficulties in the work. As a supervisor, I should have proactively taken on my responsibility, and sought from the leader about what I didn’t understand. As long as I set my intentions right and did my best, even if what I did was insignificant and the results were not very good in the end, at least I wouldn’t have any regrets. But when I did this duty, what I considered was how to avoid taking responsibility. My heart was not in my duty at all. I showed no sincerity toward my duty, let alone devotion. I was truly so selfish and base! God’s house cultivates people so that they can seek to understand various aspects of the truth while doing their duties and do their duties well. For people, this is practical training. Anyone with a pure comprehension will cherish their duty. But my viewpoint behind my pursuit was incorrect. I didn’t want to take any responsibility in my duty, and just wanted to be an ordinary team member doing my duty by the book, waiting for the supervisor to arrange everything. In fact, although doing my duty that way meant not taking responsibility, I would gain less training and less truth, and my life would progress slowly. By training in being a supervisor, although I encountered more problems and difficulties and the pressure was greater, I also gained more. I made some gains in grasping principles, and in viewing people and things. Also, in following up on the work, there were some problems where I only saw the surface phenomena and couldn’t grasp the crux of the matter, which led to me always being unable to solve the problems. It was through the leaders’ guidance that I discovered my shortcomings. By seeking the truth, I recognized the nature and consequences of the problems, and found the principles of practice, thus solving the problems at their root. These gains were all things I obtained from doing the duty of a supervisor. I also understood that no matter what duty one does in God’s house, one needs to take on a share of responsibility. This responsibility is not given by any person, but comes from God. Understanding this, I made a resolve to God that no matter how many difficulties there were in the work, I was willing to rely on God and take on my own responsibilities. I would no longer be negative, nor would I escape my duty.

Once, I read a passage of God’s words quoted in an article of experiential testimony that was very fitting for my state. Almighty God says: “Some people do not believe that God’s house can treat people fairly. They do not believe that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. They believe that no matter what duty a person performs, if a problem arises in it, God’s house will handle that person immediately, stripping them of their right to perform that duty, sending them away, or even clearing them out of the church. Is that really how things work? It certainly is not. God’s house treats every person according to the truth principles. God is righteous in His treatment of every person. He does not look only at how a person behaves in a single instance; He looks at a person’s nature essence, at their intentions, at their attitude, and He looks in particular at whether a person can reflect on themselves when they make a mistake, whether they are remorseful, and whether they can penetrate the essence of the problem based on His words, come to understand the truth, hate themselves, and truly repent. If someone lacks this correct attitude, and they are entirely adulterated by personal intentions, if they are filled with cunning schemes and revelations of corrupt dispositions, and when problems arise, they resort to pretense, sophistry, and self-justification, and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge their actions, then such a person cannot be saved. They don’t accept the truth at all and have been completely revealed. Those who are not right people, and who can’t accept the truth in the slightest, are disbelievers in essence and can only be eliminated. … Tell Me, if a person has made a mistake, but they are capable of true understanding and willing to repent, would God’s house not give them a chance? As God’s six-thousand-year management plan draws to a close, there are so many duties that need to be performed. But if you have no conscience or reason, and don’t attend to your proper work, if you have gained the opportunity to perform a duty but do not know to treasure it, do not pursue the truth in the least, letting the best time pass you by, then you will be revealed. If you are consistently perfunctory in performing your duty, and you do not submit at all when faced with being pruned, will God’s house still use you to perform a duty? In God’s house, it is the truth that reigns, not Satan. God has the final say over everything. It is He who is doing the work of saving man, it is He who holds sovereignty over everything. There is no need for you to analyze what is right and wrong, you just need to listen and submit. When faced with being pruned, you must accept the truth and be able to correct your mistakes. If you do, God’s house will not strip you of your right to perform a duty. If you are always afraid of being eliminated, always giving excuses, always justifying yourself, that is a problem. If you let others see that you do not accept the truth in the least, and that you are impervious to reason, you are in trouble. The church will be obliged to handle you. If you do not accept the truth at all in performing your duty and are always afraid of being revealed and eliminated, then this fear of yours is tainted with human intent and a corrupt satanic disposition, and with suspicion, guardedness, and misapprehension. None of these are attitudes that a person should have” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Pondering God’s words, I thought about how I was always guarded against and misunderstanding God when things befell me, afraid of being revealed and eliminated. This was because I had no knowledge of God’s righteous disposition. I thought that I had committed a serious transgression in the past, and that if I didn’t do my duty well and brought disturbance and harm to the church’s work, I would commit a lot more transgressions, and if they were serious, I would be eliminated. In fact, if I did my duty with all my heart and strength, but was incompetent because of my poor caliber, God’s house would reassign me to a suitable duty according to my caliber, and would not eliminate me for this reason. Only those who intentionally disrupt and disturb the church’s work and refuse to repent no matter how they are fellowshipped with will be eliminated. It’s just like the previous supervisor. She intentionally violated principles and caused disruptions and disturbances for the sake of her own fame and status. During that time, the leader fellowshipped with and helped her, but she did not repent, and was finally dismissed and eliminated. God’s house has principles for treating people. It handles people’s transgressions according to each person’s different background and situation, and does not adopt a one-size-fits-all approach. The many problems exposed in my doing my duty, which affected the progress of the work, were mainly because I had been training for a short time. I had no direction or path for how to do the work well, and sometimes I couldn’t grasp the key points. I didn’t intentionally want to disrupt or disturb. When I recognized my deviations and corrected them in time, God’s house still gave me the opportunity to train, and the leaders also guided me on how to do real work. I should not be guarded against or misunderstand God. I had no knowledge of God’s righteous disposition and lived in guardedness against and misunderstanding of God. My own life entry suffered loss, and it also affected my duty. These were all consequences of my not seeking the truth.

In the blink of an eye, it was October. Due to the CCP’s arrests, the various items of work in the church were hindered, and the results of the work declined again. My brothers and sisters were also generally living amidst difficulties. This time, I did not slack off or turn negative as before, but discussed with the sister I was cooperating with how to solve the existing problems. At this time, the leaders also pointed out some deviations in our work, and fellowshipped some paths of practice. Seeing the leaders’ letter, I couldn’t help but think, “What if the work still doesn’t get going after this? If the work is delayed, I won’t be able to bear this responsibility!” I realized I was thinking of protecting myself again, so I prayed and sought. I read God’s words: “What are the manifestations of an honest person? Firstly, having no doubts about God’s words. That is one of the manifestations of an honest person. Apart from this, the most important manifestation is seeking and practicing the truth in all matters—this is most crucial. You say that you are honest, but you always push God’s words to the back of your mind and just do whatever you want. Is that the manifestation of an honest person? You say, ‘Although my caliber is poor, I have an honest heart.’ And yet when a duty falls to you, you are afraid of suffering and bearing responsibility if you do not do it well, so you make excuses to shirk your duty or suggest that someone else do it. Is this the manifestation of an honest person? Clearly, it is not. How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be devoted to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s intentions. This manifests itself in several ways: One is accepting your duty with an honest heart, not considering your fleshly interests, not being half-hearted about it, and not plotting for your own benefit. Those are manifestations of honesty. Another is putting all your heart and strength into performing your duty well, doing things properly, and putting your heart and love into your duty to satisfy God. These are the manifestations an honest person should have while performing their duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, I understood that an honest person, in doing their duty, does not scheme for themselves or consider their own interests, but is considerate of God’s intentions and does their duty with all their heart and strength. I should practice according to God’s words and be an honest person. Now the great red dragon is in its death throes, frantically arresting brothers and sisters. Its purpose is to disturb the church’s work. It is precisely at this time that I should step up my cooperation, and work with everyone to do our duties well. So, I ate and drank God’s words with the sister I was cooperating with, seeking a way to solve the immediate difficulties. We also reported our upcoming work plans to the leaders, and then separately fellowshipped with our brothers and sisters, practically solving the difficulties and problems in the work. After a period of time, the text-based work gradually improved. In the process of everyone’s actual cooperation, we saw God’s blessing and guidance. The results of the text-based work got better and better, and we were all very grateful to God.

Before, I always felt that my caliber was not good and I couldn’t do the duty of a supervisor, and that only those with good caliber could do this work. The facts proved that my viewpoint was incorrect. I read God’s words: “Who could have gotten to where they are today without the work of the Holy Spirit or God’s protection? What item of work could have been developed to how it is today? Do these people think that they are in the secular world? If any group in the secular world lost the safeguarding of a team of talented or gifted individuals, it wouldn’t be able to carry out its endeavors. The work in the house of God is different. It is God who is safeguarding, leading, and guiding the work in God’s house. Do not think that the work of God’s house depends on any one person. This is impossible, and no person could do this. Should someone really believe this, it is an absurd viewpoint; it is the viewpoint of a disbeliever” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). “Regardless of whether your caliber is high or low and regardless of how much talent you have, if your corrupt dispositions are not resolved, then no matter what position you are placed in, you will not be fit for use. Conversely, if your caliber and abilities are limited, but you understand various truth principles, including the truth principles you should understand and grasp within the scope of your work, and your corrupt dispositions have been resolved, then you will be a person fit for use” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). Comparing myself against God’s words, I saw that I was blind and ignorant, and what I had revealed was the viewpoint of a disbeliever. In fact, the work of God’s house is not something that can be done well by relying on any one person’s caliber or gifts. On the surface, it is people doing the work of God’s house, but in fact, it is God who is doing it. It is the Holy Spirit who is leading and upholding it. No matter whether a person’s caliber is good or bad, as long as they have a simple and honest heart, are willing to seek the truth principles when things befall them, do not live by their corrupt dispositions, and are devoted in their duties, God will bless and guide them, and they can achieve some results in their duties. I also saw that although my caliber was average, when everyone cooperated and did our duties with one heart and mind, we achieved good results. This was all God’s guidance; it was God upholding His own work. Thanks be to Almighty God!