The First Practice for Pursuing the Truth: Letting Go

II. Letting Go of People’s Pursuits, Aspirations, and Desires

C. Letting Go of the Pursuits, Aspirations, and Desires That Arise From One’s Family

In the last few gatherings, we fellowshipped on topics concerning marriage in “letting go of people’s pursuits, aspirations, and desires,” did we not? (Yes.) We have basically finished fellowshipping on topics concerning marriage. This time, we ought to fellowship on topics concerning family. Let’s first look at what aspects of family involve people’s pursuits, aspirations, and desires. People should be no strangers to the concept of family. What first comes into people’s minds whenever this topic is brought up includes such things as the composition and members of a family, and some affairs and people that involve family. There are many such topics that involve family. Regardless of how many images and thoughts exist in your mind, do they relate to “letting go of people’s pursuits, aspirations, and desires,” which we will fellowship on today? You don’t even know whether these things are related before we start our fellowship. So before we proceed to fellowshipping, can you tell Me what family is in people’s minds, or anything you can think of that should be let go of when it comes to family? Previously we talked about several aspects relating to people’s pursuits, aspirations, and desires. Did you identify what each aspect of this topic that we fellowshipped on involves? Regardless of which aspects are involved, what people need to let go is not the matter itself, but the wrong ideas and views they approach it with, as well as the various problems that people have in relation to this matter. These various problems are the crux of what we must fellowship on regarding such aspects. These various problems are issues that affect people’s pursuit of the truth, or rather, more precisely, they are all issues that impede people from pursuing and entering into the truth. That is to say, if there are deviations or problems in your knowledge of a matter, then there will also be corresponding problems in your attitude, approach, or handling of this matter, and these corresponding problems are the topics that we need to fellowship on. Why do we need to fellowship on them? Because these problems have a major or overwhelming impact on your pursuit of the truth and on your correct, principled views regarding a matter, and they naturally also affect the purity of your method of practice regarding this matter, as well as your principles for handling it. Just as we fellowshipped on the topics of personal interests, hobbies, and marriage, we are fellowshipping on the topic of family because people have many incorrect ideas, views and attitudes about family, or because family itself exerts many negative influences on people, and these negative influences will naturally lead them to adopt incorrect ideas and views. These incorrect ideas and views will affect your pursuit of the truth, and lead you to extremes, so that whenever you encounter family-related matters, or face family-related issues, you won’t have the correct views or path for approaching or dealing with these matters and issues, and for resolving the various problems that they give rise to. This is the principle for our fellowships on each topic, and also the main problem that must be resolved. So, as regards the topic of family, can you think of what the negative influences are that family exerts on you, and in what ways family hinders your pursuit of the truth? In the course of your faith and the performance of your duty, and while you pursue the truth or seek the truth principles, and practice the truth, in what ways does family influence and hinder your thinking, your principles of self-conduct, and your values, and outlook on life? In other words, you were born into a family, so what influences, what incorrect ideas and views, and what hindrances and disruptions does this family bring to your everyday life as a believer, and to your pursuit and knowledge of the truth? Just as fellowshipping on the topic of marriage follows a principle, so does fellowshipping on the topic of family. It demands not that you let go of the concept of family in the formal sense, or in terms of your thinking and views, nor that you let go of your actual, physical family, or any member of your physical family. Rather, it demands that you let go of the various negative influences that family itself exerts on you, and let go of the hindrances and disruptions that family itself causes to your pursuit of the truth. More specifically, it can be said that your family causes specific and precise entanglements and troubles that you can feel and experience in the course of pursuing the truth and performing your duty, and that constrain you so that you are unable to find release or effectively perform your duties and pursue the truth. These entanglements and troubles make it difficult for you to cast off the constraints and influences caused by this word “family” or by the people or affairs it involves, and make you feel oppressed in the course of your faith and the performance of your duty due to the existence of family or due to any negative influences that family exerts on you. These entanglements and troubles also often afflict your conscience and prevent your body and mind from finding release, and frequently prompt you to feel that, if you were to go against the ideas and views you acquired from your family, then you would have no humanity, and would lose your morality and the minimum standards and principles of self-conduct. When it comes to family issues, you often hover between the red line of morality and the practice of the truth, unable to find release and extricate yourself. What specific problems are there—can you think of any? Do you ever feel some of the things I mentioned just now in your everyday lives? (Through God’s fellowship, I recall that because I had some wrong views about my family, I couldn’t practice the truth, and felt conscience-stricken about practicing it. Previously, when I had just finished my studies and wanted to devote myself to performing my duty, I was conflicted inside. I felt that, because my family had raised me and funded my studies all this time, now that I had graduated from university, if I didn’t earn money and provide for my family, I would be unfilial and lack humanity, which weighed heavy on my conscience. At the time, I struggled with this matter for several months, until finally I found a way out in God’s words, and decided to do my best to perform my duty. I feel that these erroneous views about family do indeed affect people.) This is a typical example. These are invisible shackles that family places on people, as well as troubles that people’s feelings, ideas or views about their family cause with regard to their life, pursuits, and faith. To a certain extent, these troubles create pressure and a burden in the depths of your heart, which deep down give rise to some bad feelings from time to time. Who can add anything else? (God, I harbor a view that as a child who is now grown up, I should show filial piety and take care of all my parents’ worries and problems. But because I’m doing my duty full time, I’m unable to be filial to my parents or do some things for them. Seeing my parents still rushing around making a living, I feel in my heart that I owe a debt to them. When I first came to believe in God, I almost betrayed Him because of this.) This is also a negative effect that the enculturation of one’s family has on one’s thinking and ideas. You almost betrayed God, but some people really did betray God. Some people couldn’t let go of their family because of their strong familial notions. In the end, they chose to continue living for the sake of their family and gave up performing their duties.

Everyone has a family, everyone grows up in a distinct family, and comes from a distinct family environment. Family is very important to everyone, and it is something that leaves the biggest impression on a person’s life, something from deep within that is difficult to give up and let go of. What people cannot let go of and what they find difficult to give up is not the family house or all the appliances, utensils, and objects in it, but the members who make up that family, or the atmosphere and affection that run through it. This is the concept of family in people’s minds. For example, the elder members of the family (grandparents and parents), those of similar age to you (brothers, sisters, and spouse), and the younger generation (your own children): These are the important members in people’s concept of family, and they are also important components of every family. What does family mean to people? For people it means emotional sustenance and a spiritual anchor. What else does family mean? Somewhere that one can find warmth, where one can pour one’s heart out, or be indulgent and capricious. Some say that family is a safe haven, a place where one can draw emotional sustenance, a place where a person’s life begins. What else? You describe it to Me. (God, I think that the family home is a place for people to grow, a place where family members keep each other company and depend on each other.) Very nice. What else? (I used to think that family was a cozy haven. No matter how much injustice I’ve suffered out in the world, whenever I return home, it can relax my mood and spirit in every way due to my family’s support and understanding, so I felt that family was a safe haven in that sense.) The family home is a place full of comfort and warmth, is it not? Family is important in people’s minds. Whenever someone is happy, they hope to share their joy with their family; whenever someone is distressed and sad, they likewise hope that they can confide their troubles to their family. Whenever people have any feelings of joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness, they tend to share them with their family, without any pressure or burden whatsoever. To every person, family is a warm and beautiful thing, a kind of sustenance for the spirit that people can’t give up on or do without at any point in their lives, and the family home is a place that provides tremendous support to people’s mind, body, and spirit. Therefore, family is an indispensable part of each person’s life. But what kind of negative influences does this place, which is so important in people’s existence and life, have on their pursuit of the truth? First of all, it can be said with certainty that no matter how important family is in people’s existence and life, or what role it plays and what function it serves in their existence and life, it still creates some problems—both big and small—for people on their path of pursuing the truth. While it plays an important role in the course of people’s pursuit of the truth, it also creates all manner of upsets and problems that are difficult to avoid. That is, in the course of people’s pursuit and practice of the truth, the various psychological and ideological problems created by family, as well as problems to do with formal aspects, cause people a great deal of trouble. So what exactly do these problems entail? Of course, in the process of pursuing the truth, people have already experienced these problems in varying number and magnitude, it’s just that they haven’t carefully considered and contemplated them, to find out what exactly the inherent issues are. What’s more, they haven’t recognized the essence of these problems, let alone the truth principles that people should understand and abide by. So, today, let us fellowship on the topic of family, and what troubles and obstructions family puts in the way of people’s pursuit of the truth, as well as what pursuits, aspirations, and desires people should let go of when it comes to the issue of family. This is a very real problem.

1. Letting Go of the Identity That One Inherits From Their Family

Although the topic of family is a big one, it nevertheless poses specific problems. The problem which we are going to fellowship on today is the negative influence, interference and hindrance that people on the path of pursuing the truth face as a result of family. What is the first problem one should let go of with regard to family? It is the identity that one inherits from family. This is an important matter. Let’s talk specifically about how important this matter is. Everyone comes from a distinct family, each with its own distinct background and living environment, its own quality of life, and specific way of living and life habits. Each person inherits a distinct identity from their family living environment and background. This distinct identity not only represents each person’s specific worth in society and among others, but is also a distinct symbol and marker. So what does this marker signify? It signifies whether a person is regarded as distinguished or lowly in the group they belong to. This distinct identity determines a person’s status in society and among other people, and this status is inherited from the family they were born into. Therefore, your family background and the kind of family you live in are very important, because they have a bearing on your identity and status among other people and in society. So, your identity and status determine whether your standing in society is distinguished or lowly, whether you are respected, highly regarded, and looked up to by others, or whether you are despised, discriminated against, and trampled underfoot by others. Precisely because the identity that people inherit from their family affects their situation and future in society, this inherited identity is very critical and important to each person. Precisely because it impacts on your prestige, status, and worth in society, and on your sense of honor or humiliation in this life, you yourself also tend to attach great importance to your family background and to the identity that you inherit from your family. Because this matter has an overwhelming impact on you, it is a very important and significant thing for you on the path of your existence. Because it is such an important and significant matter, it occupies a crucial place deep in your soul, and in your view it matters greatly. Not only does the identity that you inherit from your family matter greatly to you, but you also view the identity of anyone you know or don’t know from the same vantage point, with the same eyes and in the same way, and you use this vantage point to weigh up the identity of everyone you come into contact with. You use their identity to judge their character, and to determine how to approach and interact with them—whether to interact with them on friendly, equal terms, or to be subservient to them and follow their every word, or to simply interact with them and view them with a contemptuous and discriminatory eye, or even to associate and interact with them in an inhumane way and on unequal terms. These ways of viewing people and dealing with things are largely determined by the identity that a person gains from their family. Your family’s background and standing decides what kind of social status you will have, and what kind of social status you have determines the ways and principles by which you view and deal with people and things. Therefore, the attitude and ways that a person adopts in dealing with things depend, to a large extent, on the identity they inherited from their family. Why do I say, “to a large extent”? There are some particular situations, which we won’t talk about. For the vast majority of people, the situation is as I have just described. Everyone tends to be influenced by the identity and social status that they gain from their family, and everyone also tends to adopt corresponding ways of viewing and dealing with people and things according to this identity and social status—this is very natural. Precisely because it is an inevitability and an outlook on existence that is naturally brought about by one’s family, the origin of a person’s outlook on existence and way of life depends on the identity that they inherit from their family. The identity that a person inherits from their family determines the ways and principles by which they view and deal with people and things, as well as their attitude when choosing and making decisions in the course of viewing and dealing with people and things. This inevitably gives rise to a very serious problem in people. The origin of people’s ideas and viewpoints in viewing and dealing with people and things is, in one sense, unavoidably influenced by family and, in another sense, it is influenced by the identity that a person inherits from their family—this influence is very difficult for people to step away from. As a result, people are unable to treat themselves correctly, rationally, and fairly, or to treat others fairly, and are also unable to treat people and everything in a way that accords with the truth principles taught by God. Instead, they are flexible in the way they deal with matters, apply the principles, and make choices, based on the differences between their own identity and those of others. Since people’s ways of viewing and dealing with things in society and among other people are influenced by their family’s standing, these ways must be at odds with the principles and ways of dealing with things that God has communicated to people. To be more precise, these ways must be antagonistic to, in conflict with, and in violation of these principles and ways that God has taught. If people’s ways of doing things are based on the identity and social status they inherit from their family, then they will inevitably adopt different or particular ways and principles of doing things, due to their own distinct or special identities and those of others. These principles which they adopt are not the truth, nor are they in accordance with the truth. They not only violate humanity, conscience and reason, but even more seriously, they violate the truth, because they determine what a person should accept or reject based on their preferences and interests, and the degree to which people place demands on each other. Therefore, within this context, the principles by which people view and deal with things are unfair and not in accordance with the truth, and they are entirely based on people’s emotional needs and their need to profit. Regardless of whether you inherited a distinguished or lowly identity from your family, this identity occupies a place in your heart, and even a very important position in the case of some people. So, if you want to pursue the truth, this identity will inevitably influence and interfere with your pursuit of the truth. That is, in the process of pursuing the truth, you will inevitably encounter issues such as how to treat people and how to deal with things. When it comes to these issues and important matters, you will inevitably view people and things by adopting the perspectives or views associated with the identity you inherited from your family, and you can’t help but use this very primitive or socialized way of viewing people and dealing with things. Whether the identity you acquire from your family makes you feel that your status in society is distinguished or lowly, in any case, this identity will have an impact on your pursuit of the truth, your correct outlook on life, and your correct path of pursuing the truth. More precisely, it will impact on your principles of dealing with things. Do you understand?

Various families bring people various identities and social statuses. Having a good social status and a distinguished identity is something that people enjoy and revel in, whereas those who inherit their identity from a humble and lowly family find themselves unable to stand tall, and also feel that they are not taken seriously or highly regarded. Such people are often also discriminated against, which causes them to feel anguish and low self-esteem deep within their hearts. For example, some people’s parents may be smallholders who work the land and sell vegetables; some people’s parents may be merchants with a small business, such as running a street stall or street hawking; some people’s parents may work in the craft industry, making and repairing clothes, or relying on handicrafts to make a living and support their whole family. Some people’s parents may work in the service industry: some may be cleaners or nannies; some may work in the removals business or transportation; some may be masseurs, beauticians, or barbers; some may repair things, such as shoes, bicycles, and spectacles; some may have more advanced craft skills and repair things like jewelry or watches. Other people’s parents may have an even lower social status and depend on collecting and selling waste to support their children and raise their family. All these parents have a relatively low professional status in society, and obviously as a consequence, the social status of everyone in their family will also be low. So, in the eyes of the world, people who come from these families are of lowly status and identity. Precisely because society adopts this way of viewing a person’s identity and measuring a person’s worth, if someone asks, “What do your parents do? What is your family background?” then if a person’s family are smallholders, they will reply, “My parents … oh they’re like … it’s not worth mentioning.” They won’t dare say what their parents do, because they are too embarrassed to mention it. When meeting with classmates and friends or going out for dinner, people will introduce themselves and talk about their nice family background or their high social status. But if you come from a family of smallholders, petty merchants, or peddlers, you won’t want to say so and will feel ashamed. There is a popular saying in society that goes, “Don’t ask a hero about his origins.” This saying has a very noble ring to it, and to those with low social status it offers an ounce of hope and a glimmer of light, as well as a scrap of comfort. But why is such a sentence popular in society? Is it because people in society pay too much attention to their identity, worth, and social status? (Yes.) Those who come from humble backgrounds constantly lack confidence, so they use this saying to comfort themselves, as well as to reassure others, thinking that although their status and identity are lowly, they have a superior state of mind, which is something that cannot be learned. No matter how lowly your identity, if your state of mind is superior, it proves that you are an honorable person, even more so than those people of distinguished identity and status. What issue does this indicate? The more that people say, “Don’t ask a hero about his origins,” the more it proves that they care about their identity and social status. Especially when a person’s identity and social status are very humble and lowly, they use this saying to comfort themselves and make up for the emptiness and dissatisfaction in their hearts. Some people’s parents are worse off even than petty merchants and peddlers, smallholders and artisans, or worse off than parents who do any of those insignificant, humble, and especially low-income jobs in society, so the identity and social status that they inherit from their parents is even more lowly. For example, some people’s parents have quite a bad name in society, they don’t really do things that they ought to do, and they don’t have a socially acceptable occupation or a fixed income, so they struggle to support their family’s living expenses. Some parents frequently gamble and lose money with each bet. In the end, the family are left broke and penniless, unable to afford everyday expenses. The children born into this family wear shabby clothes, go hungry, and live in poverty. Whenever the school holds parent-teacher meetings, their parents never show up, and the teachers know that they have gone gambling. It goes without saying what sort of identity and status these children have in the eyes of teachers and among their classmates. Children born into this kind of family are bound to feel that they cannot hold their head up high around others. Even if they study well and work hard, and even if they are strong-minded and stand out from the crowd, the identity which they inherit from this family has already determined their status and worth in the eyes of others—this can make a person feel very repressed and anguished. Where does this anguish and repression come from? It comes from school, from teachers, from society, and especially from humankind’s incorrect views toward dealing with people. Is this not so? (Yes.) Some parents don’t have a particularly bad name in society but have done some unsavory things. For instance, take the case of parents who have been imprisoned and sentenced for embezzlement and taking bribes, or because they broke the law by doing something illegal or engaging in speculation and profiteering. The result is that they have a negative and adverse impact on their family, by forcing their family members to suffer this disgrace alongside them. So, belonging to this kind of family effectively has a greater impact on a person’s identity. Not only are their identity and social status lowly, but they are also looked down upon, and even labeled with such titles as “embezzler” and “member of a thieving family.” Once a person is labeled with titles like these, it will have an even greater impact on their identity and social status, and will further exacerbate their predicament in society, making them feel all the more unable to raise their head up high. No matter how hard you try or how friendly you are, you still cannot change your identity and social status. Of course, such consequences are also the effect that family has on a person’s identity. Then there are family structures that are relatively complicated. For instance, some people don’t have a biological mother but only a stepmother, who is not very kind or considerate to them, and who didn’t give them much care or maternal love when they were growing up. So for them, belonging to a family like this effectively gives them a particular identity, that of being unwanted. Within the context of this particular identity, more shadows arise in their heart and they feel that their status among others is lower than that of anyone else. They have no feelings of happiness, no sense of existence, let alone a purpose to live for, and they feel especially inferior and unfortunate. There are other people whose family structure is complex because their mother, due to some particular circumstances, went through a succession of marriages, so they have several stepfathers and don’t know who their real father is. It goes without saying what kind of identity such a person would get from belonging to this particular family. Their social status would be low in the eyes of others, and from time to time there would be people who use these issues or some opinions regarding family to humiliate this person, and to slander and provoke them. Not only would this lower the person’s identity and status in society, but it would also make them feel ashamed and unable to show their face around others. In summary, the particular identity and social status that people inherit from being part of a particular family like the ones I have mentioned, or the common, ordinary identity and social status that people inherit from belonging to a common, ordinary family, is a kind of faint pain deep in their heart. It is both a shackle and a burden, but people cannot bear to cast it off, and are unwilling to leave it behind. Because for every person, the family home is the place where they were born and grew up, and it is also a place full of sustenance. For those whose family saddles them with a humble and lowly social status and identity, family is both good and bad, because psychologically people cannot live without family, but in terms of their actual and objective needs, family has brought them varying degrees of disgrace, preventing them from getting the respect and understanding they deserve among other people and in society. So for this section of the population, the family home is a place that they both love and hate. This kind of family is not valued or highly regarded by anyone in society, but rather is discriminated against and looked down upon by others. Precisely because of this, the people born into this kind of family also inherit the same identity, status, and worth. The shame they feel from belonging to this family often impacts on their deepest emotions, their views on things, and also the ways in which they deal with things. This inevitably affects their pursuit of the truth to a great extent, and also their practice of the truth while they are pursuing it. It is precisely because these things can affect people’s pursuit and practice of the truth, that no matter what identity you inherited from your family, you should let go of it.

Some may say: “The parents you just talked about are all smallholders, petty merchants, peddlers, cleaners, and those who do odd jobs. These social statuses are very low, and it’s right that people should let go of them. As the saying goes, ‘Man struggles upward; water flows downward,’ people should look upward and aim high, and should not look at these things that are associated with low status. For example, who wants to be a smallholder? Who wants to be a petty merchant? Everyone wants to make big money, become a high-ranking official, have status in society, and achieve meteoric success. No one aspires to be a smallholder from a young age, and to be content with working the land and having enough to eat and drink. No one regards that as making it big, there are no such people. It is precisely because families like this bring shame to people and cause them to be treated unfairly for their identity, that they should let go of the identity that they inherit from their family.” Is this the case? (No, it is not.) No, it is not. If we discuss it from a different aspect, some people are born into families that are advantaged, or which have a nice living environment or a high social status, so they inherit a distinguished identity and social status, and are highly regarded in all quarters. Growing up, they are treated with kid gloves by their parents and their family elders, to say nothing of their treatment in society. Because of their special and noble family background, at school, their teachers and classmates all look up to them, and no one dares to bully them. Teachers talk to them softly and cordially, and their classmates are especially respectful of them. Because they come from an advantaged family with a distinguished background, which gives them a noble identity in society and makes others think highly of them, they have a sense of superiority and feel that they have a respectable identity and social status. As a result, in any group they show themselves to be overconfident, saying whatever they please without considering anyone’s feelings, and are totally unrestrained in whatever they do. To other people, they are sophisticated and elegant, not afraid to think big, speak out, and act, and no matter what they say or do, because they have the support of their strong family background, there are always some distinguished people on hand to help them, and everything they do goes smoothly. The smoother things go, the more superior they feel. Wherever they go, they are intent on throwing their weight around and standing out from the crowd, and being different from others. Whenever they eat with others, they pick the big portions, and if they don’t get them they get angry. When living with brothers and sisters, they insist on sleeping on the best bed—the one situated in the sunniest spot, or near to the heating, or wherever the air is fresh—and it belongs to them alone. Is this not a sense of superiority? (Yes.) Some people’s parents earn good money, or are civil servants, or are talented professionals on high salaries, so their family is particularly comfortable and well-off, and has no worries about affording things like food or clothing. As a consequence, such people feel extremely superior. They can wear whatever they want, buying the most fashionable garments and discarding them once they go out of fashion. They can also eat whatever they want—all they have to do is say the word and someone will deliver it. They needn’t worry about anything at all, and they feel extremely superior. The identity they inherit from this type of advantaged family means that in the eyes of others, they are effectively a princess if they are female, or a playboy if they are male. What have they inherited from this type of family? A noble identity and social status. What they have inherited from this type of family is not shame, but glory. No matter what environment or group of people they are in, they always feel that they are head and shoulders above everyone else. They say things like, “My parents are wealthy businesspeople. My family has lots of money. I spend it whenever I want, and I never have to budget,” or “My parents are high-ranking officials. Wherever I go about my business, I can get things done with just a word, without going through the normal procedures. You see how much effort it takes you to get things done, you have to go through the proper procedures, wait your turn, and go around groveling for favors. Look at me, I just tell one of my parents’ aides what needs doing and it gets done. How’s that for identity and social status!” Do they have a sense of superiority? (Yes.) Some people say: “My parents are public celebrities, you can look their names up on the internet and see whether they appear.” When someone checks the celebrity lists and the parents’ names really are there, it gives those people a sense of superiority. Wherever they go, if someone asks them, “What’s your name?” they reply, “It doesn’t matter what my name is, my parents’ names are such-and-such.” The first thing they tell people is the names of their parents, to let others know their identity and social status. Some people think to themselves: “Your family has status, your parents are both officials, or celebrities, or wealthy businesspeople, which makes you the privileged children of high-ranking officials or super-rich parents. What am I?” After thinking about it, they reply, “There’s nothing special about my parents, they’re just ordinary workers earning average wages, so nothing to brag about—but one of my ancestors was a prime minister in some dynasty.” Others say: “Your ancestor was a prime minister. Wow, so you have special status. You are the descendant of a prime minister. Anyone who is descended from a prime minister is no ordinary person, it means you are the descendant of celebrities too!” You see, once a person associates themselves with a celebrity, their identity will be different, their social status will be raised immediately, and they will be a respected person. There are others who say: “My ancestors were a generation of wealthy businesspeople. They were extremely rich. Later, due to social changes and changes in the social system, their assets were confiscated. Now many of the houses that people live in, within a radius of tens of miles of here, were the houses of my ancestors. In the past, my family home had four or five hundred rooms, or at the very least, two or three hundred rooms, and over a hundred servants in all. My grandfather was the proprietor of the business. He never did any work, he just ordered others to do it. Grandma led a pampered life, and they both had attendants to dress them and wash their clothes. Later, because the social environment changed the family went to ruin, so we were no longer part of the nobility but became commoners. In the past, my family used to be big and prestigious. If they stomped their feet at one end of the village, the tremors could be felt right at the other end of the village. Everyone knew who they were. That’s the kind of family I come from, so what do you think of that? It’s pretty exceptional, isn’t it? You should be looking up to me, right?” Still others say: “There’s nothing impressive about your ancestors’ wealth. My ancestor was an emperor, and a founding emperor at that. It is said that my surname was passed down from him. My family are all his direct relatives, not distant kindred. What do you think of that? Now that you know the background of my ancestor, shouldn’t you regard me with renewed admiration and show me a bit of respect? Shouldn’t you be looking up to me?” Some people say: “Although none of my ancestors were emperors, one was a general who killed countless enemies, accomplished countless military exploits, and became an important minister in the imperial court. My family are all his direct descendants. To this day, my family still studies the martial arts moves passed down by my ancestors, which are kept secret to outsiders. What do you think of that? Is my identity not special? Is my status not distinguished?” These special identities that people inherit from their so-called distant ancestral families, as well as from their modern families, are seen as honorable and glorious by people, and from time to time, they name-drop them and flaunt them as a symbol of their identity and social status. In one sense they do it to prove that their identity and status are exceptional. In another sense, when people are telling these stories, they are also striving to carve out a higher standing and social status for themselves, so as to increase their worth among others and appear exceptional and special. What is the purpose of becoming exceptional and special? It is to gain a greater degree of respect, admiration, and esteem from others, so that they can live a more comfortable, easy, and dignified life. Particularly in some special environments, for example, there are people who are constantly unable to assert their presence within a group, or to gain the respect and esteem of others. So, they look for opportunities and from time to time they use their special identity or special family background to assert their presence and let people know that they are exceptional, and to make people value and respect them, so as to gain prestige among people. They say: “Although my own identity, status, and caliber are ordinary, one of my ancestors was counselor to a prince’s family in the Ming Dynasty. Have you heard of so-and-so? That was my ancestor, my great-grandfather’s grandfather, he was an important counselor to the prince’s family. He was known as ‘The Mastermind.’ He was an expert in everything from astronomy to geography, ancient and modern history, and Chinese and foreign affairs. He was also able to make predictions. We still have the geomantic feng shui compass he used in our family.” Though they might not talk about it often, they nevertheless regale others with stories about the dazzling history of their ancestors from time to time. No one knows if what they are saying is true or not, and some of it may be tall stories, but some of it may be true. In any case, in people’s minds, the identity that they inherit from family is very important. It determines their standing and status among others, the treatment they receive among people, and also their situation and rank among people. It is precisely because, when among others, people perceive these things that they get out of their inherited identity, that they regard them as very important. Consequently, they show off those “glorious” and “brilliant” chapters of their family history from time to time, while repeatedly avoiding mention of those aspects of their family background or those things that have happened in their family that are shameful, or which might be looked down upon or discriminated against. In short, the identity that people inherit from their family is very important in their hearts. When they experience some particular events, they often use their special family identity as capital and as a reason to show themselves off, in order to gain people’s recognition and earn status among others. No matter whether your family brings you glory or shame, or whether the identity and social status you inherit from your family are noble or humble, as far as you are concerned, this family is nothing more than that. It doesn’t determine whether you can understand the truth, whether you can pursue the truth, or whether you can embark on the path of pursuing the truth. Therefore, people should not regard it as a very important matter, because it does not determine a person’s fate, nor a person’s future, and less still does it determine the path that a person takes. The identity that you inherit from your family can only determine your own feelings and perceptions among others. Regardless of whether the identity that you inherit from your family is something you despise or is worth bragging about, it cannot determine whether you will be able to embark on the path of pursuing the truth. So when it comes to pursuing the truth, it doesn’t matter what kind of identity or social status you inherit from your family. Even if the identity you inherit makes you feel superior and honored, it is not worth mentioning. Or, if it gives you feelings of shame, lowliness, and inferiority, it will not affect your pursuit of the truth. Is it not so? (Yes.) It will not affect your pursuit of the truth in the slightest, nor will it affect your identity as a created being before God. On the contrary, no matter what identity and social status you inherit from your family, from God’s point of view, everyone has the same opportunity to be saved, and performs their duty and pursues the truth with the same status and identity. The identity that you inherit from your family, whether it be honorable or shameful, does not determine your humanity, nor does it determine the path you take. However, if you attach a great deal of importance to it, and regard it as an essential part of your life and being, then you will hold onto it tightly, never let go of it, and take pride in it. If the identity you inherit from your family is noble, then you will regard it as a kind of capital, whereas if the identity you inherit from your family is lowly, you will regard it as a shameful thing. No matter whether the identity you inherit from your family is noble, glorious, or shameful, that is just your personal understanding, and merely the result of looking at the issue from the perspective of your corrupt humanity. It is just your own feeling, perception and understanding, which is not in line with the truth and has nothing to do with the truth. It is not capital for your pursuit of the truth and, of course, it is not a hindrance to your pursuit of the truth. If your social status is noble and elevated, that does not mean it is capital for your salvation. If your social status is lowly and humble, that does not mean it is a hindrance to your pursuit of the truth, let alone a hindrance to your pursuit of salvation. Although a family’s environment and background, quality of life, and living conditions all derive from God’s ordination, they have nothing to do with a person’s true identity before God. Any person, no matter what family they come from, or whether their family background is illustrious or inferior, is a created being in God’s eyes. Even if your family has an illustrious background and you are of noble identity and status, you are still a created being. Likewise, if your family status is humble and you are looked down upon by others, you are nevertheless an ordinary created being in God’s eyes—there is nothing special about you. Different family backgrounds provide people with different growing environments, and different family living environments give people different viewpoints for dealing with material things, the world, and life. Whether one is well-off or wanting in life, or whether one’s family circumstances are advantaged or not, it’s just a different experience for different people. Relatively speaking, those who are poor and whose family has a modest standard of living have a deeper experience of life, whereas, for those who are rich and whose family is particularly advantaged, it is more difficult for them to attain this, right? (Yes.) No matter what kind of family environment you grew up in, and no matter what identity and social status you gained from that family environment, when you come before God, when you are acknowledged and accepted by God as a created being, you are the same as other people in God’s eyes, you are equal to other people, there is nothing special about you, and God will apply the same methods and the same standards in His requirements for you. If you say, “I have a special social status,” then before God, you must disregard this “specialness”; if you say, “My social status is lowly,” then you must also disregard this “lowliness.” Before God, each of you must step away from the identity you have inherited from your family, let go of it, accept the identity that God has given you as a created being, and adopt this identity in performing the duty of a created being well. If you come from a good family and are of noble status, you have nothing to boast about, and you are no more noble than anyone else. Why is that? In God’s eyes, as long as you are a created human being, you are full of corrupt dispositions, and you are one of those whom God wants to save. Likewise, if the identity you inherit from your family is lowly and humble, you must nevertheless accept the identity of a created being that God has given you, and come before God as a created being to accept His salvation. You may say: “My family’s social status is low, and my identity is also lowly. People look down on me.” God says that it doesn’t matter. Today, before God, you no longer appear as a person whose identity was given to you by your family. Your current identity is that of a created being, and what you should accept is God’s requirements for you. God does not show partiality to anyone. He does not look at your family background or your identity, because in His eyes, you are the same as everyone else. You have been corrupted by Satan, you are a member of the corrupted human race, and you are a created being before God, so you are one of those whom God wants to save. It doesn’t matter whether you are the offspring of high-ranking officials or super-rich parents, whether you are a young man of privilege or a princess, or whether you are the child of smallholders or some ordinary person. These things are not important, and God doesn’t look at any of this. Because what God wants to save is you as a person. He wants to change your corrupt disposition, not your identity. Your corrupt disposition is not determined by your identity, nor is your worth determined by your identity, and your corrupt disposition does not come from your family. God wants to save you not because your status may be humble, and especially not because your status may be distinguished. Rather, God has chosen you because of His plan and His management, because you have been corrupted by Satan, and you are a member of the corrupt human race. Before God, no matter what identity you inherit from your family, you are the same as everyone else. You are all members of the human race, who have been corrupted by Satan, and have corrupt dispositions. There is nothing special about you. Is that not so? (Yes.) Therefore, the next time someone around you says, “I used to be a county magistrate,” or “I was a provincial governor,” or someone says, “Our ancestors were emperors,” or someone says, “I was a member of congress,” or “I ran for president,” or someone says, “I was the president of a large company,” or “I was the boss of a state-owned enterprise,” what’s so amazing about that? Is it important that you were once a senior executive or a commanding officer? This world and this society attach great importance to people’s identity and social status, and decide how to treat you according to your identity and social status. But now you are in God’s house, and God will not look at you differently because of how brilliant you were in the past, or how brilliant and glorious your identity used to be. Especially now that He requires you to pursue the truth, is there any point in showing off your qualifications, social status, and worth? (No, there isn’t.) Would it be foolish to do so? (Yes.) Foolish people tend to use these things to measure themselves against others. There are also some new believers who have little stature and do not understand the truth, and who often use these things from society and family to compare themselves to others. People who have some foundation and stature in their belief in God generally wouldn’t do this, nor would they talk about such things. Using one’s family identity or social standing as capital does not accord with the truth.

Now that I have fellowshipped a great deal about it, do you understand what I said about the identity you inherit from your family? (Yes.) Tell Me something about it. (God, I’ll say something about it. People often attach particular importance to the family they were born into, and to their family’s identity and status in society. People who are born into a family with low social status tend to think that they are somehow inferior to others. They feel that they come from very humble origins, and they can’t hold their heads up in society, so they want to strive to better their social status; those who are born into a family with a relatively high standing and status tend to be quite arrogant and conceited, they love to show off, and they have an innate sense of superiority. But actually, people’s social status is not the most important thing, because before God, people have the same identity and status—they are all created beings. A person’s identity and status cannot determine whether they can pursue the truth, practice the truth, or be saved, so one cannot constrain themselves because of their identity and status.) Very good. People who don’t pursue the truth care a lot about a person’s identity and social status, so in some special circumstances, they will say things like: “You know that so-and-so in our church, their family is well-off!” Their eyes light up when they say the words “well-off,” indicating their extremely envious and jealous mentality. Their envious feelings have been growing for so long that it reaches the point where they’re drooling over such people and saying, “Oh, you know those people over there, her father is a high-ranking official, and his is a county magistrate, hers is a mayor, and that one’s father is a secretary in some government department!” When they see someone wearing nice clothes, or someone who dresses well, or who has a bit of class or insight, or who uses particularly high-end things, they feel envious and think, “Their family is rich, they must be rolling in money,” and they are consumed with admiration and envy. Whenever they talk about so-and-so being the boss of some company, they care about that person’s identity more than the person does themselves. They’re always talking about the person’s job even if the person never brings it up themselves, and they even vote for that person when it’s time to elect the church leader. They have particular feelings for people who have a higher social status than they do, and reserve them special attention. They are always trying to pander to those people, get close to them, and fawn over them, while hating themselves and thinking, “Why isn’t my father an official? Why was I born into this family? Why don’t I have anything good to say about my family? The families they were born into are families of either officials or wealthy businesspeople, whereas my family doesn’t have anything. My siblings are all ordinary people, smallholders who work the land and who are all at the lower end of society. And the less said about my parents the better—they’re not even educated. The shame of it!” As soon as anyone mentions their parents, they become evasive and say, “Let’s not bring up this topic, let’s talk about something else. Let’s talk about so-and-so in our church. Look at the management position he holds, he knows how to be a leader. He’s been doing it for decades, no one could replace him. That guy was born to lead. If only the same could be said about us. Now that he believes in god it’s a blessing upon a blessing. He really is a blessed person, because he already has everything one could want in society, and now that he has come into god’s house, he can also enter the kingdom and have a beautiful destination.” They believe that when an official comes into God’s house, he or she should be the church leader, and have a beautiful destination. Who decides that? Do they have the final word? (No.) This is clearly something that disbelievers say. If they see someone with a bit of ability and innate talent, who dresses well and enjoys the good things in life, and who drives a nice car and lives in a big house, then they persistently associate with that person, fawn over them and ingratiate themselves with them. Then there are others who feel that they have a high social status and standing. When they come into God’s house, they always demand special privileges, shout orders at their brothers and sisters, and treat them like slaves, because they’ve become so accustomed to leading the life of an official. Do such people think that their brothers and sisters are their subordinates? When it’s time to elect a church leader, if they don’t get chosen, they get angry and say, “I won’t believe anymore, god’s house isn’t fair, it doesn’t give people a chance, god’s house looks down on people!” They have become accustomed to being an official out in the world, and think that they are the real deal, so when they come into God’s house, they’re always trying to call the shots, take the lead in everything, and demand special privileges, and they treat God’s house like they do the world and society. Perhaps someone is the wife of an official out in the world, but she still wants to be treated like the wife of an official when she comes into God’s house, and have people flatter her and follow her around. During gatherings, if the brothers or sisters neglect to greet her, she gets angry and stops coming to gatherings, because she feels that people don’t take her seriously, and that believing in God is meaningless. Is this not unreasonable? (Yes.) No matter what special identity you have in society, when you come into God’s house, you lose your special identity. Before God and before the truth, people have only one identity, which is that of a created being. Out in the world, whether you are a government official or wife of an official, whether you are a member of society’s elite or a rank-and-file pen pusher, or whether you are a general or a soldier, you have only one identity in God’s house, which is that of a created being. There is nothing special about you, so don’t seek special privileges or make people worship you. There are still others who come from a special Christian family, or from a family that has believed in the Lord for generations. Perhaps their mother was trained in a seminary, and their father is a pastor. They are especially well-received in the religious world, and believers gather around them. After accepting this stage of God’s work, they still feel that they have the same identity as before, but they’re living in dreamland! It’s time for them to stop dreaming and wake up. It doesn’t matter if you are a pastor or a leader, when you come into God’s house, you must understand the rules of God’s house and learn to change your identity. This is the first thing you need to do. You are not some high-ranking official, nor some rank-and-file pen pusher, you are not a wealthy businessperson, and neither are you poor and penniless. When you come into God’s house, you have only one identity, which is the identity God has given you—that of a created being. What should created beings do? You shouldn’t flaunt your family history, or the social status you inherited from your family, nor use your superior social status to run amok in God’s house and seek special privileges, and you certainly shouldn’t use the experience you have accumulated in society, and the sense of superiority that your social status gives you, to act like a sovereign ruler in God’s house and to call the shots. Rather, in God’s house you should fulfill your duty as a created being, conduct yourself in a proper manner, not mention your family background, not harbor any sense of superiority, and neither should you have an inferiority complex; there is no need for you to feel inferior, or have a sense of superiority. In short, you need to obediently do well that which a created being ought to do, and perform well the duty that a created being should perform. Some people say: “So does that mean I have to rein myself in and keep a low profile?” No, you don’t need to rein yourself in or keep a low profile, you don’t need to be subservient, and you certainly don’t need to act high and mighty. You don’t need to try to stand out, you don’t need to put on a pretense, and you don’t need to make concessions just to keep everyone happy. God treats people fairly, and in a just manner, because God is the truth. God has spoken many words to people and made many demands, and ultimately what He requires is for you to perform your duty as a created being properly, and do everything that a created being should do properly. In dealing with this matter of the identity that people inherit from their family, you are also required to view people and things, conduct yourself and act on the basis of God’s words and with truth as the criterion, rather than flaunting the sense of superiority that your family gave you. And of course, if you come from a disadvantaged family, you don’t need to be outspoken and open up to everyone about how bad it is. Some other people may say: “Does God’s house require that we ‘Don’t ask a hero about his origins’?” Is this saying the truth? (No.) This saying is not the truth, so you don’t need to measure anything on the basis of this saying, nor use it as a criterion for abiding by the requirements that God places on you. Regarding the identity that you inherit from your family, what God requires of you is that you perform your duty. Before God, your only identity is that of a created being, so you should let go of things that can impact on you being a good created being, or prevent you from doing it. You shouldn’t make room for these things in your heart, nor attach too much importance to them. Whether in terms of appearances or attitude, you should let go of the distinct identity that you inherit from your family. What do you think of that? Is it doable? (Yes.) Perhaps you inherited an honorable identity from your family, or perhaps your family background casts a shadow over your identity. No matter what, I hope you walk free from that, take this matter seriously, and then afterward, when you encounter some special situations, and these things affect the fulfillment of your duty, and influence your treatment of people, and impact your correct principles for dealing with things, and your principles for getting along with others, I hope that you can stop being influenced by the identity you inherited from your family, and treat everyone and handle everything correctly. For instance, say there is someone in the church who is always perfunctory in her duty and constantly being disruptive. How should you deal with her? You puzzle over this, thinking, “I must prune her, because if I don’t prune her, it will impact on the church’s work.” And so you set about pruning her. But she refuses to give way, and comes up with a raft of excuses. You aren’t afraid of her, so you continue fellowshipping and pruning her. She says, “Do you know who I am?” and you reply, “What does it matter to me who you are?” She says: “My husband is your husband’s boss. If you make things difficult for me today, your husband will be in trouble.” You reply: “This is the work of God’s house. If you don’t do it well and keep on being disruptive, I will dismiss you from your duty.” So she says, “In any case, I’ve told you how it’s going to be. Decide for yourself what should be done!” What does she mean by “decide for yourself”? She’s telling you that if you dare dismiss her, she will get your husband sacked. At this point, you’re thinking, “This woman has powerful backing, no wonder she speaks so arrogantly all the time,” so then you change your tone and say: “Well, this time I’ll let it go, but next time I won’t! I didn’t mean anything by what I said, it’s all for the sake of church’s work. We are all brothers and sisters who believe in God, we are all one family. Think about it, I’m the church leader, how can I not take responsibility for this? If I didn’t take responsibility, you wouldn’t have elected me, would you?” You begin to try and smooth things over. Are there any principles behind this? The defensive wall deep in your heart has collapsed, you daren’t stick to the principles, and you cave in. Is this not the case? (Yes.) So you end up letting her off the hook. You are ashamed that your identity is not as noble as hers, and that her social status is higher than yours, so you feel obliged to let yourself be controlled by her, and obey her. Though you both believe in God, you still let yourself be blackmailed by her. If you cannot get rid of the influence that social status exerts on you, you will not be able to uphold the principles, you will not be able to practice the truth, and you will not be loyal before God. If you are not loyal to God, will God accept you? Will God trust you? Will He still entrust you with important work? To Him you will be an untrustworthy person, because at the critical juncture, you betray the interests of God’s house to protect your own interests. At the critical juncture, you took fright at the evil forces that come from society and from Satan, causing you to betray the interests of God’s house and fail to stand firm in your testimony. This is a grave transgression and a mark of having brought dishonor to God. Why is that? Because when you did this, you betrayed your identity as a created being, and violated this principle of doing what a created being ought to do. In handling this matter, you allowed yourself to be influenced by your social status and your identity in society. In confronting any issue, if you cannot let go of the negative influences created by the identity that you inherited from your family, then you may react to these issues by doing unexpected things. In one sense, these things will make you violate the truth, and in another sense, they will leave you utterly at a loss, not knowing what choices to make. This will easily lead you into transgression and regret, so that before God you will be stained and regarded as an untrustworthy person who has violated the principle that God impresses on humankind, which is to perform one’s duty as a created being well, and to do as a created being ought to do. Think about it, this matter is somewhat trivial but also very significant in its severity, is it not? (Yes.)

2. Letting Go of the Conditioning From One’s Family

a. Conditioning From One’s Family in Terms of Thoughts

I fellowshipped just now about letting go of the identity that you inherit from your family. Is this easy to do? (Yes, it’s easy to do.) Is it easy to do? Under what circumstances will this matter affect you and disturb you? When you don’t have a correct and pure understanding of this matter, in a particular type of environment you will be influenced by it, and it will affect your ability to perform your duty well, and impact on your methods for handling things and on the outcomes. Therefore, when it comes to the identity you inherit from family, you should treat it correctly, and not be influenced or controlled by it, but instead view people and things, and conduct yourself and act normally according to the methods that God gives to people. That way, you will have the attitude and principles that an up-to-standard created being should have in this respect. Next, we will fellowship about letting go of the conditioning effects that family exerts on you. In this society, people’s principles for dealing with the world, their methods for living and existing, and even their attitudes and notions toward religion and belief, as well as their various notions and views toward people, events, and things—all these things are inevitably conditioned by family. Before people come to understand the truth—no matter how old they are, or what gender they are, or what occupation they are engaged in, or what kind of attitude they have toward everything, whether it be extreme or rational—in short, in all manner of things, people’s thoughts and views and their attitudes toward things are greatly influenced by family. That is to say, the various conditioning effects that family exerts on a person determine, to a large extent, that person’s attitude toward things and their method for dealing with them, as well as their outlook on existence, and even impact on their faith. Since family conditions and impacts people so significantly, people’s methods and principles for worldly dealings, as well as their outlook on existence, and their views on faith, inevitably stem from family. Family itself is not the place where the truth arises, nor is it the source of the truth, and any thought and viewpoint or way of survival that gets conditioned into you by your family is done under the guise of being “for your own good.” Whether these things that get conditioned into you by your family come from your parents, elders, or from your ancestors, in short, they’re all intended to enable you to safeguard your own interests in society and among others, to prevent you from getting bullied, and to enable you to live among people with greater ease and craftiness, so that your own interests can be protected to the greatest extent possible. The conditioning you receive from your family is meant to protect you, to prevent you from getting bullied or suffering any humiliation, and to help you become someone who comes out on top. Even if you bully or harm others, it’s fine as long as you yourself remain unharmed. These are some of the most important things that your family conditions into you, and they are also the essence and chief aim underlying all the ideas that are conditioned into you. Is this not the case? (Yes.) If you consider the aim and essence of all the things your family has conditioned into you, is there anything that accords with the truth? Even if these things do accord with the ethics or legitimate rights and interests of humanity, do they have any connection to the truth? Are they the truth? (No.) It can be said with all certainty that they are definitely not the truth. No matter how positive and legitimate, humane and ethical, man believes the things that your family conditions into you to be, they are not the truth, nor can they represent the truth, and of course they cannot replace the truth. Therefore, when it comes to the topic of family, these things are another aspect that people should let go of. What specifically is this aspect? It is the conditioning effects that family exerts on you—this is the second aspect that you should let go of when it comes to the topic of family. Since we are discussing the conditioning effects that family exerts on you, let’s first talk about exactly what these conditioning effects are. If we differentiate them according to people’s concept of right and wrong, some are relatively correct, positive, and presentable, and can be laid out on the table, whereas some are relatively selfish, despicable, vile, relatively negative, and nothing more. But at any rate, these conditioning effects from family are like a layer of protective clothing that collectively safeguards a person’s fleshly interests, preserves their dignity among others, and prevents them from getting bullied. Is it not so? (Yes.) Let us talk, then, about what conditioning effects one’s family exerts on them.

A Dissection of “People Need Their Pride Just As a Tree Needs Its Bark”

When family elders often tell you that “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark,” it’s so that you attach importance to making yourself look good, live a respectful life, and do not do things that heap disgrace upon you. So does this saying guide people in a positive or negative way? Can it lead you to the truth? Can it lead you to understand the truth? (No, it cannot.) Most certainly, it cannot! What God requires of people is that they be honest. When you have transgressed, or done something wrong, or done something that rebels against God and goes against the truth, you need to reflect on yourself, know your mistake, and dissect your corrupt dispositions; only in this way can you achieve true repentance, and thereafter act in accordance with God’s words. What kind of mindset do people need to possess to practice being honest? Is there any conflict between the required mindset and the viewpoint exemplified by the saying, “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark”? (Yes.) What is the conflict? The saying “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark” is intended to make people attach importance to living out their bright and colorful side and doing more things that make them look good—rather than doing things that are bad or dishonorable, or exposing their ugly side—and to prevent them from living a life that is not respectable or dignified. For the sake of one’s pride, for the sake of polishing one’s image, one cannot speak of oneself as being utterly worthless, let alone tell others about one’s dark side and shameful aspects, because one must live a respectable and dignified life, and in order to have dignity one needs pride, and to have pride one needs to put up a pretense and dress oneself up. Doesn’t this conflict with being an honest person? (Yes.) When you are being an honest person, you’ve already relinquished the saying “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark.” If you want to be an honest person, don’t attach importance to your image; a person’s image isn’t worth a cent. Faced with the truth, one should expose oneself, not put up a pretense or create a facade. One must reveal to God one’s true thoughts, the mistakes one has made, the aspects that violate the truth principles, and so on, and also lay these things bare to one’s brothers and sisters. It is not a matter of living for the sake of one’s pride, but rather, it is a matter of living for the sake of being an honest person, living for the sake of pursuing the truth, living for the sake of being a true created being, and living for the sake of satisfying God and being saved. But when you don’t understand this truth, and don’t understand God’s intentions, the things that are conditioned into you by your family tend to be predominant in your heart. So when you do something wrong, you cover it up and put up a pretense, thinking, “I can’t tell anyone about this, and I won’t allow anyone else who knows about it to tell people about it either. If any of you tell someone, I won’t let you off lightly. My pride comes first. Living is for nothing other than one’s pride, which is more important than anything else. If a person has no pride, they lose all their dignity. So you can’t speak truthfully, you have to pretend, you have to cover things up, otherwise you will no longer have pride or dignity, and your life will be worthless. If no one respects you, then you’re just worthless, you’re just cheap trash.” Is it possible to achieve being an honest person by practicing this way? Is it possible to be completely open and dissect yourself? (No, it isn’t.) Obviously, by doing this you are adhering to the saying “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark” that your family has conditioned into you. However, if you let go of this saying in order to pursue the truth and practice the truth, it will cease to affect you, and it will cease to be your motto or your principle for doing things, and instead what you do will be precisely the opposite of this saying “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark.” You won’t be living for the sake of your pride, nor for the sake of your dignity, but rather, you will be living for the sake of pursuing the truth, and being an honest person, and seeking to satisfy God and live as a true created being. If you adhere to this principle, you will have let go of the conditioning effects that your family exerts on you.

A Dissection of “A Man Leaves His Name Behind Wherever He Stays, Just As a Goose Utters Its Cry Wherever It Flies”

Family conditions people not just with one or two sayings, but with a whole host of well-known quotations and aphorisms. For example, do your family elders and parents often mention the saying “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies”? (Yes.) They are telling you: “People must live for the sake of their reputation. People should seek nothing else in their lifetime, other than to forge a good reputation and leave a good impression in the minds of others. Whoever you talk to, speak pleasant-sounding words to them, speak only words of flattery and kindness, and don’t offend them. Instead, do more good things and kind acts.” This particular conditioning effect exerted by family has a certain impact on people’s behavior or principles of conduct, with the inevitable consequence that they attach great importance to fame and gain. That is, they attach great importance to their own reputation, prestige, the impression they create in people’s minds, and others’ evaluation of everything they do and every opinion they express. People place great importance on fame and gain, so the words of those well-known sayings and principles for dealing with things in traditional culture take on a dominant position in their hearts, even completely occupying them. Imperceptibly, they come to see it as unimportant whether they are doing their duty in accordance with the truth and principles, and they may even abandon such considerations entirely. In their hearts, those satanic philosophies and well-known sayings of traditional culture, such as “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” become especially important. These satanic sayings occupy your heart, making you especially concerned about other people’s evaluations of you and especially how those you are most concerned with evaluate you. This is something you want to know every moment of every day, not letting go of a single detail. Some people pay special attention to what other people really say about them behind their backs, to the point of eavesdropping through walls, listening through a crack in the door, and even secretly reading what other people write about them. As soon as someone mentions their names, they immediately listen to what’s being said about them and whether the comments are favorable. Hearing someone say they’re self-indulgent and lazy, they ponder how to change others’ opinion of them, and afterward act very diligently. After a while, they no longer hear anyone saying they’re lazy, but they’re still uneasy, so, whether intentionally or not, they say in front of others, “I’m a bit lazy.” People reply, “You’re not lazy anymore, you’re much more diligent than you used to be.” They feel very happy, thinking, “Everyone’s opinion of me has changed. It seems that everyone has taken note of my behavior.” Everything you do is not for the sake of practicing the truth, nor in order to satisfy God, but rather, it is for the sake of your own reputation. In this way, what has everything that you do inadvertently become? It has become a religious act. What has become of your essence? You have become the archetype of a Pharisee. What has become of your path? It has become the path of antichrists. That is how God characterizes it. So, the essence of everything you do has become tainted, it’s no longer the same; you are not practicing the truth or pursuing it, but instead you are pursuing fame and gain. Ultimately as far as God is concerned, the performance of your duty is—in a word—not up to standard. Why is that? Because you are devoted only to your own reputation, rather than to that which God has entrusted to you, or to your duty as a created being. What do you feel in your heart when God comes up with such a definition? That your belief in God all these years has been in vain? So does that mean you haven’t been pursuing the truth at all? You haven’t been pursuing the truth, instead you have been paying special attention to your own reputation, and at the root of this are the conditioning effects that come from your family. Which is the most dominant saying that you have been conditioned with? The saying, “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” has taken deep root in your heart and become your motto. You have been influenced and conditioned by this saying since you were young, and even after growing up you often keep repeating this saying to influence the next generation of your family and the people around you. Of course, what is even more serious is that you have adopted it as your method and principle for conducting yourself and dealing with things, and even as the goal and direction that you pursue in life. Your goal and direction are wrong, and so the final outcome is certain to be negative. Because the essence of everything you do is solely for the sake of your reputation, and solely in order to put into practice the saying “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies.” You are not pursuing the truth, and yet you yourself don’t know that. You think there is nothing wrong with this saying, because shouldn’t people live for the sake of their reputation? As the common saying goes, “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies.” This saying seems very positive and legitimate, so you unconsciously accept its conditioning effect and regard it as a positive thing. Once you regard this saying as a positive thing, you are unknowingly pursuing it and putting it into practice. At the same time, you unknowingly and confusedly misconstrue it as the truth criterion. When you regard it as the truth criterion, you no longer listen to what God says, nor can you understand it. You blindly put into practice this motto, “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” and act in accordance with it, and what you ultimately get out of that is a good reputation. You have gained what you wanted to gain, but in doing so you have violated and abandoned the truth, and lost the chance to be saved. Given that this is the final outcome, you should let go of and abandon the idea that “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” which your family conditioned into you. It is not something that you should hold onto, nor is it a saying or idea that you should spend a lifetime of effort and energy putting into practice. This idea and view that you are being inculcated and conditioned with is wrong, so you should let go of it. The reason why you should let go of it is not only because it is not the truth, but also because it will lead you astray and ultimately lead to your destruction, so the consequences are very serious. For you, it is not just a simple saying, but a cancer—a means and method that corrupts people. Because in God’s words, among all of His requirements for people, God has never asked people to pursue a good reputation or to seek prestige, or to make a good impression on people to win people’s approval or to get a thumbs-up from people, nor has He ever made people live for the sake of fame or in order to leave behind a good reputation. God only wants people to perform their duty well, and to submit to Him and the truth. Therefore, as far as you are concerned, this saying is a type of conditioning from your family that you should let go of.

A Dissection of “You Have to Endure Great Suffering in Order to Come Out on Top”

There is another conditioning effect that family exerts on a person. For example, when parents or elders encourage you, they often say “You have to endure great suffering in order to come out on top.” In saying this, their aim is to teach you to endure suffering, be diligent and persevere, and not be afraid of suffering in whatever you do, because only those who endure suffering, resist hardship, work hard, and possess fighting spirit can come out on top. What does “come out on top” mean? It means not being bullied, or looked down upon, or discriminated against; it means having high prestige and status among people, having the authority to speak and be heard, and the authority to make decisions; it means being able to lead a better and higher-quality life among others, and having people look up to you, admire you, and envy you. It essentially means that you are in the upper echelon of the entire human race. What does “upper echelon” mean? It means that there are many people at your feet and you needn’t put up with any mistreatment from them—this is what it is to “come out on top.” In order to come out on top, you must “endure great suffering,” which means you must be able to endure suffering that ordinary people cannot. Before you can come out on top, you must be able to endure people’s sneers, sarcasm, slander, and even their scorn, and so on. That is, in addition to physical suffering, you must also be able to accept the sarcasm and ridicule from public opinion. Only by learning to be this kind of person can you make it among people and secure a place for yourself. The aim of this saying is to make people strive to be those who come out on top rather than those who come out on bottom, because it’s so miserable to come out on bottom—you get mistreated, you’re powerless, and you have no dignity or pride. The saying “You have to endure great suffering in order to come out on top” is the one parents say most frequently while educating children. Their aim is, likewise, to do what’s best for you—it’s to make it so that you have power and prestige among others, eat well and enjoy yourself, and so that wherever you go, no one dares to bully you, and you can instead act tyrannically and call the shots, with everyone bowing and scraping before you. Your parents want you to come out on top; on one hand, this is for your sake, and on the other, it’s to bring glory to the family name and honor your ancestors, and so that your parents and other family members can bask in your glory. Once you’ve come out on top, driving luxury cars, living in a mansion, with people crowding around and fawning on you, your family will also enjoy a good life along with you, eating all kinds of exotic delicacies whenever they want, going wherever they please. You will be able to pull all the strings, indulge every whim, do whatever you want, and even live above the law—willfully, haughtily, boldly, and recklessly. This is your family’s aim in conditioning you this way: to prevent you from being wronged and to make you come out on top. To put it bluntly, their aim is to make you into someone who can boss others around, command them, and bully them, rather than someone who gets bossed around and bullied by others. Is this not the case? (Yes.) Does this conditioning effect from your family benefit you? (No.) Why do you say that it doesn’t benefit you? If every family educated the next generation this way, would it increase social conflict and make society more competitive and unfair? Everyone would want to be at the top of the pile, no one would want to be at the bottom of the pile, or to be an ordinary person—they would all want to be the person who governs and bullies others. Do you think society could still be good if that were the case? Society would clearly not be oriented in a positive direction, and it would only intensify social conflicts, increase competitiveness between people, and exacerbate disputes between people. Take school, for instance. Students try to get one up on each other, by expending great effort studying when no one is around, but when they meet up they would say, “Oh, yet again I didn’t study last weekend. Instead I went to a great place and had fun all day. Where did you go?” And someone else would chime in: “I slept in all weekend and didn’t study either.” They actually both know full well that the other spent all weekend studying to the point of exhaustion, but neither admits to having studied or put in great effort when no one was watching, because everyone wants to come out on top and doesn’t want anyone else to outdo them. They say that they haven’t been studying, because they don’t want others to know that in fact they have. What’s the use of lying like that? You study for your own sake, not for others. If you can lie at such a young age, can you walk the correct path after you enter society? (No.) Entering society entails personal interests, money, and status, so the competition would only get fiercer. People would stop at nothing and use every means at their disposal in order to achieve their goals. They would be willing and able to do whatever it took to achieve their goal, at any cost, even if it meant enduring humiliation to get there. If things kept going like this, how could society turn out well? If everyone did this, how could the human race turn out well? (It couldn’t.) The root of all kinds of improper social mores and evil trends comes from the conditioning that family exerts on people. What, then, does God require in this respect? Does God require people to come out on top and not to be mediocre, mundane, unremarkable, or ordinary, but instead to be great, famous, and lofty? Is this what God requires of people? (No.) It is very clear that the saying which your family has conditioned into you—“You have to endure great suffering in order to come out on top”—doesn’t guide you in a positive direction, and of course, it also has no connection to the truth. Your family’s aims in teaching you to endure suffering are impure; there’s always some scheming in these aims, and they’re so despicable and disgraceful. God asks people to undergo suffering because they have corrupt dispositions. For their corrupt dispositions to be purified, they must accept judgment and chastisement, pruning, and trials and refinement; they must undergo this suffering. This is an objective fact. Furthermore, God requires people to undergo suffering, so they ought to do it. It’s what they’re supposed to do as created beings; it’s what they should bear and the attitude they should have as normal people. However, God does not require you to come out on top. He only requires you to be an ordinary, normal person who understands the truth, listens to God’s words, and is able to submit to Him—that is enough. God never demands that you surprise Him, or do anything earth-shattering, nor does He need you to be a celebrity or a great person. He just needs you to be an ordinary, normal, and real person. No matter how much suffering you can endure, or whether you can endure suffering at all, if in the end you are able to fear God and shun evil, then this is the best person you can be. What God wants is not for you to come out on top, but to be a true created being, a person who can perform the duty of a created being. This person is someone unremarkable and ordinary, someone with normal humanity, conscience and reason, not someone who is lofty or great in the eyes of nonbelievers or corrupt humans. We have fellowshipped a great deal on this aspect before, so we won’t discuss it further now. This saying “You have to endure great suffering in order to come out on top” is clearly something you should let go of. What is it exactly that you should let go of? It is the direction that your family has conditioned you into pursuing. That is, you should change the direction of your pursuit. Don’t do anything just for the sake of coming out on top, standing out from the crowd and being noteworthy, or being admired by others. Instead, you should let go of these intentions, aims, and motives and do everything in a down-to-earth manner in order to be a true created being. What do I mean by “in a down-to-earth manner”? The most basic principle is to do everything in accordance with the ways and principles that God has taught people. Supposing that what you do doesn’t blow everyone away or impress them, or isn’t even praised or valued by anyone. However, if this is something that you ought to do, then you should persist and keep at it, treating it as the duty that a created being should perform. If you do that, you will be a created being who is up to standard in God’s eyes—it’s as simple as that. What you need to change is your pursuit with regard to your self-conduct and your outlook on life.

A Dissection of “Harmony Is a Treasure; Forbearance Is Brilliance”

There are some other ways family conditions and influences you, such as with the saying “Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance.” Your family members often instruct you: “Be kind to others, don’t quarrel with anyone, and don’t make enemies. If you make too many enemies, you won’t be able to gain a foothold in society, and if there are too many people who hate you and seek to harm you, you won’t be safe—your family and loved ones may at any time face threats, and you may even encounter difficulties and obstacles in your career and work. So you must learn that ‘Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance.’ Be kind to everyone, don’t damage good relationships, don’t say anything that you can’t take back later, avoid hurting people’s pride, and don’t expose their shortcomings. Avoid or stop saying things that people don’t want to listen to. Just give compliments, because it never hurts to compliment somebody. You must learn to show forbearance and compromise in both big and small matters, because ‘Compromise will make a conflict much easier to resolve.’” You see, sometimes your family instills these two ideas and views into you: For one thing, you need to be kind to others; additionally, you need to be forbearing, not speak out of turn, and if you have something to say, you should button your lip until you get home and then tell your family. Or better still, don’t even tell your family, because secrets have a way of slipping out—once what you say leaks out, things will not go well for you. To gain a foothold and survive in this society, people must learn to be forbearing and to be appeasers. You must be slippery and cunning in your words and actions. You can’t just say what’s on your mind. If you go ahead and say what’s on your mind, that’s just plain foolish! Some people are like loose cannons and say whatever comes to their minds. A person like this might end up offending their boss. The boss then makes things difficult for them, canceling their bonuses and always finding fault with them and tormenting them. In the end, they can’t bear to stay there any longer—they want to quit but worry they’ll have no other way to make a living, so they can only endure it. Then their family members tell them off: “You deserve the mistreatment! Serves you right for being so quick to offend people—this is the end result! We told you to be smoother in your speech and think before you say something, but you just have to be direct. Is it that easy to get by in a society as evil and dark as this? No matter where you work, you must never offend people. You always think you’re a good person and have no enemies. Well, now you have reaped the painful consequences. Let this be a lesson to you! Remember this saying from now on: ‘Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance’!” Once they’ve been taught this lesson, they remember it, thinking, “My parents’ words are so true. These are all the experiences and lessons our predecessors derived. It won’t do to ignore them. We ignore our elders at our peril, so I’ll remember it from now on.” After they come to believe in God and join God’s house, they still remember this saying, “Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance,” and so they greet their brothers and sisters whenever they see them, and only speak nice words to them. When a leader who hasn’t done church work for long and lacks work experience asks everyone to offer more suggestions and help, they immediately give a compliment: “You’re doing a great job. If you weren’t leading us, we’d feel like we had no path to follow.” On another occasion, when someone comes to know their own deceitful disposition, they say, “You aren’t deceitful, you’re really honest, I’m the one who’s deceitful.” When someone else makes unpleasant remarks to them, they think to themselves, “No matter how unpleasant your remarks get, I’ll be forbearing and just pretend I didn’t hear them. I’ll even compliment you and try to curry favor with you; I’ll flatter you till your head spins—it doesn’t cost me a thing!” When others ask them to share an opinion or open up in fellowship, they don’t speak truthfully, and they are all smiles with everyone. People say they’re a two-faced charmer, and they think to themselves: “I’ve been like this for years, and in all that time I’ve never suffered a loss; this is my highest principle for dealing with the world.” Are they not a slippery eel? (Yes.) Some people have maneuvered themselves through society like this for many years, and continue to do so after they come into God’s house. They never say one truthful word, they never speak from the heart, and they don’t talk about knowing themselves. No matter which brother or sister has a heart-to-heart talk with them, they don’t speak truthfully, and no one can grasp who they really are. They never reveal just what they think or what their views are. They maintain exceptionally good relationships with everyone, so you never know what kind of people they actually like or what they really think about others. No matter whom you ask them about, they will say the person is not bad or pretty good. If someone asks if they’ve noticed any shortcomings or flaws in that person, they’ll say they haven’t, but inside they think: “Isn’t that trying to get me to offend that person? I most certainly won’t do that! If I tell you the truth and it gets back to them, won’t they just become my enemy? My family has long told me not to make enemies, and I haven’t forgotten their words. Do you think I’m foolish? Do you think I’d forget the education and conditioning I’ve received from my family just because you’ve fellowshipped a few words of truth? It won’t happen! At all times, I must hold to ‘Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance’ and ‘Compromise will make a conflict much easier to resolve.’ These sayings are my shield. I don’t mention anyone’s flaws, and if anyone provokes me, I show them forbearance. Whoever says unpleasant remarks, whoever prunes me, I show them forbearance. My aim is to keep the peace with everyone. I have to maintain good relationships with people. I can’t adhere to principles, I can’t be that foolish. I have to learn to adapt to the situation. Why do tortoises live so long? It’s because they hide inside their shells whenever they sense danger, is it not? That way they can protect themselves and live for thousands of years. That’s how to live a long life, and also how to deal with the world.” You won’t hear such people speak anything truthful or genuine; their true viewpoints and the boundary for their self-conduct are never revealed. They just hide them in their hearts, where they are known only to themselves. This kind of person is outwardly friendly to everyone, appears kind-hearted, and never hurts or harms anyone. But in fact, they are a veritable appeaser and slippery eel. This kind of person is always liked by some people in the church, because they never make big mistakes and never give themselves away. The opinion of church leaders and brothers and sisters is that they get on just fine with everyone. They are lukewarm and not earnest in doing their duty. Outwardly, they are especially obedient and docile, doing just whatever is asked of them. They never hurt others with their words or when dealing with matters, and they never take advantage of anyone. They never speak ill of others, and they never judge people behind their backs. However, no one knows what they think of others or what opinion they hold about them, and they don’t seem to have any sincerity in doing their duty. Upon close consideration, you even feel that this kind of person is a bit devious and difficult to figure out, and that keeping them in the church to do their duty would be troublesome. Isn’t this kind of person difficult to deal with? (Yes.) Outwardly, they appear to be doing their duty, but they never take the principles that God’s house has communicated to heart. They do things however they like, thinking that as long as they don’t make any big mistakes, they can just go through the motions and that’s that. No one can find any fault with them or pick out any flaws; they do things impeccably. But what are they thinking inside? Are they doing their duty with willingness? Were it not for the restraints of the church’s administrative decrees or the supervision of the church leaders and the brothers and sisters, would such a person join forces with evil people and commit evil together with them? It’s highly likely; as long as the circumstances allowed, they would do it. This kind of person is the most troublesome, the typical slippery eel and old fox. They don’t take issue with anyone. If someone says something hurtful to them, or reveals a corrupt disposition and impinges on their dignity, what do they think? “I’ll show forbearance. I won’t take issue with you, but there’ll come a day when you make a fool of yourself!” When that person does something wrong and makes a fool of themselves or is pruned, they secretly delight in it and laugh at them. When there are evil people and antichrists causing disturbances in the church, they don’t expose them, but just wait to laugh at the leaders and workers and the church’s work. They just don’t reflect on what problems they have themselves. They don’t say anything that could hurt others, and even if they can see through someone’s evildoing or bad deeds, they don’t reveal that they can. What they show is often a false front, and ways of doing things that don’t involve the truth principles. No one can see through to their heart, and no one knows their true thoughts and views. People like this are the most insidious and difficult to deal with. So what attitude does God’s house take toward people like this? If they can be helped, and their problems can be resolved through fellowshipping on the truth, that is of course all the better. If they do not accept the truth, then they may be allowed to render service, as long as they do not cause disruptions or disturbances. If, after rendering service for a while, they can even do evil, and their service does more harm than good, then they must be cleared out as evil people. This is the principle. Why are they handled this way? Because people like this do not accept the truth in the slightest—they are disbelievers—they are not even devoted in doing their duty, and when there are evil people and antichrists causing disturbances in the church, they can even be onlookers and laugh at the leaders and workers. What role do they play? Isn’t it the role of Satan and devils? (Yes.) When they show patience toward their brothers and sisters, it constitutes neither genuine tolerance nor genuine love. They do it to protect themselves and to avoid attracting any enemies or danger their way. They don’t tolerate their brothers and sisters to protect them, nor do they do it out of love, and less still do they do it because they are pursuing the truth and practicing in accordance with the truth principles. Theirs is entirely an attitude that centers on drifting along and misleading others. Such people are fence-straddlers and slippery eels. They don’t like the truth and they don’t pursue it, instead they just drift along. It is clear that the conditioning which they receive from their family greatly affects the methods by which they conduct themselves and deal with things. Of course, it must be said that these methods and principles of dealing with the world are inseparable from their humanity essence. On top of this, the conditioning effects from their family only serve to make their actions even more pronounced and concrete, and reveal their nature essence even more completely. Therefore, for people like this, as long as they are not utterly treacherous and evil, but just have some minor transgressions and problems, they should still be helped with love. Of course, it would be better if you could accept the truth. If you never accept the truth, at the very least you should be able to avoid doing evil and causing disturbances, and also be able to safeguard the interests of God’s house. If you render service in this way, then in the future when God determines people’s outcomes, the punishment you receive will be lessened. This is already God’s grace. By practicing this way, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, right? If such people are asked to completely let go of the satanic philosophies conditioned into them by their families, it won’t be easy, because this involves their humanity essence. These slippery eels and appeasers do not accept the truth in the slightest. It’s not so simple or easy for them to let go of those things, because—even leaving aside the conditioning from their families—they themselves are obsessive believers in satanic philosophies, and they just like this attitude for dealing with the world. This is their own very subjective attitude for worldly dealings. But if they’re smart, and in situations where their own interests are not in any way threatened or compromised they let go of some of these approaches and adequately safeguard the interests of God’s house, then that would actually be a good thing for them, because at the very least it could reduce their liability and lighten God’s chastening of them, turning God’s chastening into His reward and remembrance. How wonderful that would be! Would that not be a good thing? (Yes.) That concludes our fellowship on this aspect.

A Dissection of “He Who Talks a Lot Will Inevitably Make Mistakes”

What other kinds of conditioning by families are there? Does the phrase “Speaking too much invites mistakes” count? (Yes.) For instance, your parents often tell you: “Whatever the occasion, don’t speak rashly, or sooner or later you’ll suffer losses! You must remember, ‘Speaking too much invites mistakes.’ If you say too much, you’ll definitely slip up somewhere. Before you speak, see what everyone else says first. If you go along with the majority, you’ll be fine. But if you always try to push yourself to the front, and you voice your opinions without knowing what your boss or higher-ups think first, once it displeases them and you offend them, they’ll give you a hard time. Can any good come from that? Silly child, you must remember, ‘Speaking too much invites mistakes.’ Don’t speak rashly! Your mouth is for eating and breathing, for sweet-talking your boss and others, not for telling the truth. When you speak, you’ve got to have skills and methods, you have to use your brain. When the words reach your lips, swallow them back, run them through your mind a few times, and then speak. You also have to consider the situation. If people don’t like what you are saying and their reaction isn’t good, stop right away and think about how to say it in a way that can make everyone happy before trying again. If you do that, you won’t get into trouble. That’s what a smart person would do. Everyone will like you, and they’ll think of you when good things come up. Won’t that work in your favor? Won’t that bring you more opportunities in the future?” Your family conditions you not only by telling you how to gain a good reputation, how to come out on top, and how to maintain your standing among others, but also by telling you how to deceive others through outward appearances, to not tell the truth, and even more so to not pour out everything on your mind. Some people suffer some loss for speaking the truth, and when they recall this saying their family taught them, they draw a lesson. They become increasingly willing to practice this saying—“Speaking too much invites mistakes”—making it their motto. Other people, before even suffering any loss, heartily accept the conditioning by their family, and continually practice this saying whatever the occasion. As they practice it, they increasingly feel that their parents and elders are all sincerely acting in their best interests: “I’m so fortunate they told me this saying, ‘Speaking too much invites mistakes.’ Otherwise, with my big mouth, who knows how many losses I’d suffer, how many people would give me a hard time, how many disdainful looks I’d receive, and how much ridicule and mockery I’d face. This saying is so useful and beneficial!” Even after they believe in God, they still think that this is the most useful and beneficial saying. When brothers and sisters unreservedly open up and fellowship about their states, their revelations of corruption, or their experiential understanding, they too want to fellowship and be a person who opens up unreservedly, honestly talking about the thoughts or understanding they have in their hearts, so as to find brief relief for the feelings they’ve suppressed for so many years or gain some measure of release and freedom from them. But each time they recall what their parents drummed into them—“Speaking too much invites mistakes. Don’t speak rashly. Learn to listen to others. Be a radio receiver, not a loudspeaker”—they swallow back all the bottled-up words they wanted to say. When everyone else is finished talking, they still don’t say anything. They think to themselves: “Fortunately, I didn’t say anything this time. If I had, I might’ve given everyone a bad impression of me. By not speaking, everyone will think I’m really honest and not so deceitful, that I’m just a naturally taciturn person who doesn’t overthink things, doesn’t have so much corruption, and who especially doesn’t have any notions about God—they’ll just think I’m a relatively pure person. It’s pretty good that they have this impression of me—why should I have to open up and expose my corruption? After all, the saying ‘Speaking too much invites mistakes’ does seem to hold true for me, so I’ll just keep on acting like this.” Adhering to the saying “Speaking too much invites mistakes” makes them feel they’ve gained something and haven’t suffered any loss, so they’re unwilling to open up and fellowship with others. This goes on until one day they feel very stifled and pent up, and want to open up to the brothers and sisters and say what’s in their hearts, but their mouths feel as if they’ve been sealed shut, and they can’t get a single word out. Since they can’t tell the brothers and sisters, they want to speak to God from their hearts, but when they kneel before Him, they don’t know what to say, how to express it, or how to formulate their thoughts—they go mute. So many years of pent-up feelings make them feel completely stifled, and that they are living a dark and sordid life. When they make up their mind to tell God what is in their hearts and unload their feelings, they are lost for words and don’t know where to start, or how to say it. Are they not wretched? (Yes, they are.) Why, then, do they have nothing to say to God? They want to tell God what is in their hearts, but they don’t have the words, and in the end all that comes out is: “God, please give me the words I ought to say!” And God replies: “There is so much that you ought to say, but you don’t want to say it, and you don’t say it when you are given the chance, so I am taking back everything that I have given you. I won’t give it to you, you don’t deserve it.” Only then do they feel that they have lost out on so much these past years. Although you used to put up a facade of perfection, when you see that the brothers and sisters are able to share experiential testimonies and have made some gains, especially when you see the calmness with which they unhesitatingly open their hearts and dissect their own corruption, you feel ashamed, thinking that you have revealed so much corruption and yet are unable to say a single word about it, and wondering why you are falling so far short. You have believed in God for so many years, and you also want to share your self-knowledge, and to share your experience of God’s words, and to get a bit of enlightenment and light from God, and to make something of a small gain. But unfortunately, because you frequently cling to the opinion that “Speaking too much invites mistakes,” and are often bound and controlled by this idea, you have lived for this saying for so many years, you have not received any enlightenment or illumination from God, and you are still utterly destitute and a pauper when it comes to life entry. People of this sort have practiced this saying and idea—“Speaking too much invites mistakes”—to perfection and kept to it very well, but despite having believed in God for so many years, they have not gained anything of the truth, and remain poor and blind. God gave them mouths, but they have no ability whatsoever to fellowship on the truth, nor any ability to talk about their feelings and knowledge, let alone the ability to communicate with their brothers and sisters. What is more pitiful is that they don’t even have the ability to talk to God, and have lost such an ability. Are such people not wretched? (Yes, they are.) Wretched and lamentable. Do you not dislike talking? Are you not always afraid that speaking too much invites mistakes? Then you should never say anything. You conceal the sense of your conscience and the things you can perceive through understanding the truth, suppressing them and sealing them away so that you are not governed by them. You are constantly afraid that you’ll lose face, that your interests will be harmed, that others will see through you, and that you won’t be perfect in the eyes of others and they’ll see your shortcomings, so you do your utmost to put up a facade and disguise yourself, never sharing what you think inside. As a result, you lose your conscience and reason, and you cannot put the truth into practice despite understanding it, bringing harm to yourself. Who did such harm to you? At the root, it was being conditioned by your family that harmed you. But from your own perspective, it is also because you like living by satanic philosophies that you choose to believe that the conditioning of your family is correct, and don’t believe that God’s requirements for you are positive. You regard the conditioning from your family as a positive thing, while you regard God’s words, His requirements, and His provision, help, and teachings as negative things, and you regard the leaders, workers, and brothers and sisters in God’s house as people to guard against. Therefore, no matter how much God bestowed upon you at the outset, because of your guardedness and refusal all these years, the end result will be that God takes back everything and withholds it from you—you are not worthy of possessing it. So, before you reach this point, you should let go of the various fallacious ideas that your family has instilled in you. Also, if you continue to hold to the erroneous view that “Speaking too much invites mistakes,” you will become more closed off, more insidious, and more hypocritical. It is completely antithetical and contrary to God’s requirement for people to be honest and unreservedly open. As someone who believes in and follows God, you should feel duty-bound to pursue the truth. No matter what you face, you should seek the truth; in particular, when it comes to the traditional ways and teachings of your family, you should even more so forsake them—you should seek the truth to deal with them. No matter what your family has conditioned into you, no matter how good or beneficial it is for you, no matter how much it protects you, it all comes from man and from Satan, and you should let go of it all. Even though God’s words and His requirements for people may conflict with the conditioning from your family, and might even hurt your interests and strip away your rights, and you might even think that they don’t protect you and are instead intended to show you up and make you look a fool, you should still regard them as positive things, because they come from God, they are the truth, and you should accept them. If the things that your family has conditioned into you have a bearing on your thinking and self-conduct, your outlook on existence, and the path you take, then you should let go of them and not hold fast to them. Instead, you should replace them with the corresponding truths that you’ve accepted from God, and in doing so, you should also constantly discern and recognize the inherent problems and essence of these things that your family conditioned into you, and then act and practice by following God’s words more precisely, practically, and truly. Accepting ideas, views on people and things, and principles of practice that come from God—this is the duty-bound responsibility of a created being, and what a created being should do, and these ideas, views, and principles of practice are what a created being should possess.

A Dissection of “Better to Be a True Villain Than a Fake Gentleman”

Parents in some families, in addition to instilling things that people think are positive and beneficial to their survival, prospects, and future, also instill some relatively extreme and warped ideas and views into their children. For example, such parents say: “Better to be a true villain than a fake gentleman.” This is a saying that tells you how to conduct yourself. This saying, “Better to be a true villain than a fake gentleman,” makes you choose between one or the other. It makes you choose to be a true villain, that is to say, to be openly bad, rather than doing it behind people’s backs. That way, even if people think that the things you do aren’t so good, they will still admire you and approve of you. It means that, no matter what bad things you do, you must do them to people’s faces, out in the open and candidly. Some families condition and educate their children this way. Not only do they not despise those people in society who have contemptible and vile ideas and behaviors, they even educate their children by telling them: “Don’t underestimate these people. In actual fact, they are not necessarily bad people—they might even be better than fake gentlemen.” In one sense, they tell you what kind of person to be, and in another sense, they also tell you how to discern people, what kind of people to regard as positive, and what kind of people to regard as negative, teaching you to discern positive things from negative things, and also teaching you how to conduct yourself—this is the kind of education and conditioning they give you. So, what kind of impact does such conditioning imperceptibly have on people? (Not distinguishing between good and evil.) That’s right, not distinguishing between good and evil, right and wrong. Let’s first take a look at how human beings view so-called villains and fake gentlemen. First of all, humans think that true villains are not bad people, and that those who truly are fake gentlemen are bad people. The kind of people who do bad things behind others’ backs while outwardly pretending to be good are called fake gentlemen. They talk all about benevolence, righteousness, and morality to people’s faces, but get up to all sorts of bad things behind their backs. They do all this bad stuff while at the same time saying all sorts of nice things—people like this are objects of scorn. As for true villains, they are just as bad to people’s faces as they are behind their backs, and yet they have become role models to be championed and studied, rather than becoming objects of people’s scorn. This kind of saying and view tends to confuse people’s concepts of what exactly a good person is and what exactly a bad person is. And so people are not sure and do not know, and their concepts become very vague. When family conditions people in this way, some of them even think, “By being a true villain I am being upstanding. I’m doing things out in the open. If I have something to say I tell it to your face. If I harm you, or don’t like you, or want to take advantage of you, I must also do it to your face and let you know about it.” Just what kind of logic is this? Just what kind of nature essence is this? When evil people do bad things and commit evil deeds, they need to find a theoretical basis for it, and this is the logic they come up with. They say: “Look, this thing I’m doing isn’t so good, but it’s better than being a fake gentleman. I do it to people’s faces, and everyone knows about it—that’s called being upstanding!” Thus, villains make themselves out to be upstanding people. With this kind of thinking in people’s minds, their concepts of true integrity and true evil are imperceptibly blurred. They don’t know what it is to be upstanding, and they think, “It doesn’t matter whether what I say hurts others or whether it is right or not, whether it is reasonable or not, or whether it accords with principles and the truth or not. As long as I dare to speak, and don’t care about the consequences, and as long as I have a true disposition, a straightforward nature, and am as straight as a die, and as long as I don’t harbor any insidious aims, then it’s appropriate.” Is this not a case of inverting right and wrong? (Yes.) This way, negative things are turned into positive things. Some people therefore use this as a basis and conduct themselves according to this saying, and even assume that justice is on their side, thinking, “In any case, I’m not taking advantage of you, nor playing tricks behind your back. I’m doing things candidly and out in the open. You think what you like. To me this is being upstanding! As the saying goes, ‘One needn’t worry about rumors if one is upright,’ so think whatever you want!” Is this not the logic of Satan? Is it not the logic of robbers? (Yes.) Is it justified for you to do bad things, make trouble for no reason, act like a tyrant, and commit evil? Committing evil is committing evil: If the essence of what you do is committing evil, then evil is what it is. What are your actions measured by? They are not measured by whether you had your motives, or whether you did them out in the open, or whether you have a true disposition. They are measured by the truth and by God’s words. The truth is the criterion for measuring everything, and that sentence applies perfectly in this case. According to the measure of the truth, if something is evil, then it is evil; if something is positive, then it is positive; if something is not positive, then it is not positive. And what are these things that people think of as upstanding, and having a true disposition and a straightforward nature? That’s called twisting words and forcing logic, confusing concepts, and talking nonsense, it’s called misguiding people, and if you misguide people then you are committing evil. Regardless of whether it is committed behind people’s backs or to their faces, evil is evil. Evil committed behind someone’s back is wickedness, whereas evil committed in front of someone’s face is truly malicious and vicious, but they all relate to evil. So tell Me, should people accept this saying “Better to be a true villain than a fake gentleman”? (No, they shouldn’t.) Which is positive—the behavioral principles of a fake gentleman, or the behavioral principles of a true villain? (Neither.) That’s right, they are all negative. So, don’t be a fake gentleman, nor a true villain, and don’t listen to your parents’ nonsense. Why do parents always spout nonsense? Because this is exactly how your parents conduct themselves. They constantly feel that “I have a true disposition, I’m a true person, I’m forthright, I’m honest about my feelings, I’m a chivalrous person, I am upright and needn’t worry about rumors, I behave decently and walk the right path, what do I have to fear? I don’t do anything wrong, so I’m not afraid of demons knocking on my door!” Demons aren’t knocking on your door right now, but you have committed no shortage of evil deeds and will be punished sooner or later. You are upright and fear no rumors, but what does being upright represent? Is it the truth? Does being upright mean conforming to the truth? Do you understand the truth? Don’t think up excuses and pretexts for your own evildoing, it’s pointless! As long as it doesn’t conform to the truth, it is evil! You even feel that you have a true disposition. Just because you have a true disposition, does it mean that you can take advantage of others? Or that you can harm others? What logic is this? (The logic of Satan.) This is called the logic of robbers and devils! You commit evil and yet you make out that it is something right and proper, and make excuses for it and seek to justify it. Is this not shameless? (Yes.) I tell you again that in God’s words, there is never any mention of letting people be a true villain or a fake gentleman, nor any such requirement to be a true villain or a fake gentleman. These sayings are all blatant and devilish words to deceive and mislead people. They can mislead people who do not understand the truth, but if you understand the truth today, you should no longer hold fast to such sayings or be influenced by them. Whether people are fake gentlemen or true villains, they are all devils, beasts, and scoundrels, they are all no good, they are all wicked, and they are all associated with evil. If they’re not wicked then they are vicious, and the only difference between a fake gentleman and a true villain lies in the manner of their performance: One performs in public, and the other in secret. Also, they have different ways of doing things. One does evil openly, while the other plays dirty tricks behind people’s backs; one is more insidious and treacherous, while the other is more overbearing, domineering, and bares their fangs; one is more sordid and stealthy, while the other is more despicable and arrogant. They happen to be two satanic ways of doing things, one open and one covert. If you act openly you are a true villain, and if you act covertly you are a fake gentleman. What is there to brag about? If you regard this saying as your motto, are you not foolish? So, if you have been deeply harmed by the things that your family has conditioned or instilled into you in this regard, or if you are holding fast to such things, I hope you can let go of them, discern and see through them as soon as possible. Stop clinging to this saying, and thinking that it is protecting you, or making you into a genuine person or someone with integrity, humanity and a true disposition. This saying is not a standard for how one should conduct oneself. From where I stand, I strongly condemn this saying, which disgusts Me more than anything. I am disgusted not only by fake gentlemen, but also by true villains—both kinds of people are objects of disgust to Me. So, if you are a fake gentleman, then from My perspective you are no good, and you are beyond remedy. But if you are a true villain then you are even worse off. You are well aware of the true way and yet deliberately sin, you clearly know the truth yet blatantly violate it and fail to practice it, and instead you openly oppose the truth, so you will die faster. Don’t think, “I have a straightforward nature, I am not a fake gentleman. Although I am a villain, I am a true villain.” How are you true? Your “trueness” is not the truth, nor is it a positive thing. Your “trueness” is the manifestation of the essence of your arrogant and vicious dispositions. You are “true” as in true Satan, true devils, and true viciousness, rather than true as in the truth or something that is truly real. So, when it comes to this saying “Better to be a true villain than a fake gentleman” that your family conditions into you, you should also let go of it, because it has no connection whatsoever with the principles of self-conduct that God teaches people, nor does it even come anywhere close to them. Therefore, you should let go of it as soon as possible, rather than continuing to cling onto it.

A Dissection of “The Bird That Sticks Its Neck Out Is the One That Gets Shot”

There’s another type of conditioning that comes from your family. For example, your elders always tell you: “Don’t stick out too much in the crowd; you must learn to be reserved. In particular, don’t expose too much of your gifts, talents, or intelligence, in case you make others jealous. It’s like the sayings go: ‘The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot,’ and ‘The rafter that sticks out is the first to rot.’ If you want to protect yourself, and have a long-term, stable place among people, don’t be the bird that sticks its neck out. You should be reserved and not try to stand out too much; it’s lonely at the top. If you always try to be in the limelight among others, you’ll draw attention; someone may get jealous and hate you, and start thinking about tormenting you. Don’t be a leader or a team head in the church—once you do something wrong, you’ll be in trouble; people will make an example of you and hold you responsible. You must learn to protect yourself like a tortoise. No matter what situation you face, just cower like a tortoise, and you’ll avoid a lot of trouble.” After hearing your parents’ words, you feel that they’re truly insightful people, that age brings wisdom. Some people have believed in God for many years and don’t want to be leaders; they think it’s best to cower like a tortoise. When it’s time to elect a leader, they come up with all sorts of reasons and excuses to decline, saying they’re too tied up with family affairs or have poor caliber and so can’t be a leader. Even if they do get elected, they aren’t willing to serve as a leader. They ponder inside: “Huh! The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot. The higher up you are, the harder you’ll fall. It’s lonely at the top. I never want to be a leader, nor do I want to rise above others and attain a high rank, so I’ll never have a hard fall. You see, many people who were elected as leaders were dismissed because they couldn’t do the work or because they did evil. Some were even cleared out, not even getting the chance to be an ordinary believer. Isn’t this precisely those sayings, ‘The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot,’ and ‘The rafter that sticks out is the first to rot,’ playing out in reality? So, people have to learn to protect themselves; no matter what, don’t stick your neck out, and don’t be a leader. Among any group in society, it’s always ‘The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot.’ You’ll be riding high while you’re sticking your neck out, but when you get shot, it’ll be too late for regret.” These views of theirs all come from the earnest, oft-repeated teachings of their parents and elders, which are the voice of their experience. Their parents bend to their ears to tell them the distilled wisdom of their lives, not leaving anything out. What does it mean to bend to someone’s ear to tell them something? For instance, your mother says in your ear: “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this life, it’s that ‘The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot.’ If someone always tries to be in the limelight, they’re likely to be tormented. Do you know why your dad keeps such a low profile now, and why he doesn’t like to be in the limelight or mention being an official anymore? It’s because he was tormented in the past. Your dad has literary talent, eloquence, and leadership skills, but because he stood out too much, others became jealous of him and tormented him. You must learn from your dad’s lesson! You must keep the saying ‘The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot’ in your heart and never forget it. This is the best thing I can give you as your mother.” Thereafter you remember the saying “The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot,” and whenever you recall it, it reminds you of the suffering of your father, whose dejected look left a deep impression on your mind. So, whenever you want to stick your neck out, whenever you want to express your views, whenever you want to sincerely fulfill your duty in God’s house, the saying “The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot” comes to your mind, and so you shrink back. You think to yourself, “Whatever talents or strengths I have, I can’t show them; I must be reserved. As for God’s words about putting all of one’s heart, mind, and strength into doing their duty, I can’t fully accept it. I must not be too gung-ho. If I’m too gung-ho and stick my neck out to take on the church’s work, what if I do something wrong and bring losses to the work, and I’m held responsible? How should I bear this responsibility? Won’t I be cleared out? Won’t I be the bird with its neck out? So, regardless of what I do, I absolutely must leave myself an escape route, I absolutely must first learn to protect myself, and ensure that I cover all my bases before I speak and act. This is the wisest course of action, because it’s like my mother says: ‘The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot.’” This saying is deeply implanted in your heart and also has a profound influence on your daily life. More seriously of course, it affects your attitude toward doing your duty. Is this not a serious problem? (Yes.) Therefore, whenever you want to expend yourself for God with all your strength while doing your duty, you are always stopped in your tracks by the idea that “The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot,” which causes you to be overly cautious and hesitant, too scared to make a move. No matter what you’re doing, you always choose to have a backup plan and leave yourself some wiggle room, doing a bit of duty within limits after you decide on a way out for yourself. What do you think? Does your family’s conditioning in this regard protect you to the greatest extent from being revealed and dealt with? For you, it is another shield, is it not? (Yes.)

Based on all that we have fellowshipped on thus far, how many talismans do people have as a result of their family’s conditioning? (Seven.) With so many talismans, is it true that no ordinary devils and demons dare encroach on you? All these talismans make you feel so safe, so comforted, and so happy living in this human world. At the same time, they make you feel how important family is to you, and how timely and important the protection and talismans that your family gives to you are. Whenever you obtain tangible benefits and protection as a result of these talismans, you feel more than ever that family is important, and that you will always depend on it. Whenever you encounter difficulties and are wracked by indecision and bewilderment, you collect yourself for a moment and think, “What did my mother and father tell me? What skills did my elders teach me? What was the motto they passed on to me?” You quickly, instinctively, and subconsciously fall back on the various ideas and environments instilled into you by your family, seeking and demanding their protection. At such times, family becomes your safe haven, an anchor, a support and a driving force that is always strong, unshakable, and unchanging, a psychological crutch that enables you to keep on living and stops you from being bewildered and indecisive. At times like these, you are filled with deep feeling: “Family is so very important to me, it gives me such immense mental strength, as well as being a source of spiritual support.” You often congratulate yourself by thinking, “It’s fortunate that I listened to what my parents told me, otherwise I would have ended up in a very embarrassing situation by now, being either bullied or hurt. Fortunately, I have this trump card, I have a talisman. So, even in God’s house and in the church, even during the course of performing my duties, I will not be bullied by anyone, and I will not run the risk of being cleared out or handled by the church. These things might never happen to me, thanks to the protection that the conditioning of my family gives me.” But you have forgotten something. You have been living in what you imagine to be an environment with talismans and in which you can protect yourself, but you don’t know whether you have fulfilled God’s commission or not. You have ignored God’s commission to you, and ignored your identity as a created being, and the duty you should fulfill as a created being. You have also ignored the attitude you should adopt and all that you should offer up in performing your duty, while the true outlook on life and values that you ought to cherish have been replaced with the views that your family has conditioned into you, and your chances of salvation are also impacted and influenced by your family’s conditioning. Therefore, it is very important for everyone to let go of the various conditioning effects of their family. This is one aspect of the truth that must be practiced, and it is also a reality that should be entered into without delay. Because if society tells you something, you are likely to make a rational or subconscious decision to reject it; if a stranger or someone unrelated to you tells you something, you tend to make a rational or measured decision to accept it or not; but if your family tells you something, you tend to accept it entirely without hesitation or discernment, and this is actually a dangerous thing for you. Because you think that the family can never do any harm to a person, and that everything your family does for you is for your own good, to protect you, and for your own sake. Based on this assumed principle, people are easily disturbed and influenced by these intangible and tangible things that are one’s family. The tangible things are one’s family members and all the family’s affairs, while the intangible things are the various ideas and education that come from family, as well as some conditioning to do with how you should conduct yourself and act. Is it not so? (Yes.)

There is a lot to discuss as regards the conditioning effects of family. After we finish fellowshipping on these things today, you should contemplate them all and summarize them, thinking about which ideas and views—besides those that I mentioned today—might afflict you in your daily life. Most of what we have fellowshipped on just now relates to people’s principles and ways of dealing with the world, and there are a small number of topics that relate to viewing people and things. The scope of the conditioning effects that family exerts on people basically encompasses these things. There are also some issues that don’t relate to people’s outlook on life or ways of dealing with the world, so we won’t say any more about those. Here ends our fellowship for today, then. Until next time!

February 11, 2023