By Wang Shen, China

In 2019, I was elected as the team leader for the video team. I thought to myself, “It seems I’m pretty capable, otherwise they wouldn’t have elected me.” At the same time, I resolved that I would put my heart into doing my duty well. At the time, Sister Xiao Ya’s 3D skills were particularly outstanding, and everyone would go to her with any technical problems they had. Seeing everyone constantly gathered around Xiao Ya asking questions, I felt a bit sour inside, but I managed to handle it correctly. After all, my specialty was 2D animation, and I didn’t know much about 3D technology, so it was normal for people to ask her for help. Besides, Sister Su Jie often asked me some technical questions, which helped balance things out for me. But later, the sisters started going to Xiao Ya not just for technical issues, but also to fellowship about problems and difficulties in their life entry. That’s when I started to feel really sour. “I’m the team leader, so how come no one comes to me? Do they think I’m not as good as Xiao Ya? Then why did they elect me as the leader in the first place? Isn’t this just putting me in an embarrassing situation?” Every time I saw the sisters fellowshipping together, I wanted to join in, but when I saw them all gathered around Xiao Ya, I’d immediately change my mind. “You’re already the center of attention. If I, as the team leader, were to go over, wouldn’t that just make you shine even brighter and appear more competent, while I would look even more insignificant?” So, I would turn and go to another room for my spiritual devotion alone. From outside, I’d occasionally hear Xiao Ya’s laughter, and it sounded particularly jarring to me, as if she were deliberately flaunting her “prestige.” After that, I grew more and more dissatisfied with her. “I’m clearly the team leader, yet everyone revolves around you. How am I supposed to save face? You don’t even consider my feelings. You could have at least invited me to join you, just to give me a way to save face! I can see you have no respect for me as your team leader at all.” Later, I started to wonder, if my fellowship during gatherings had more light, would people start coming to me to fellowship about their problems? That way, I could regain some face. So, during gatherings, I racked my brain trying to figure out how to make my fellowship stand out, but the harder I tried, the more my mind went blank. My fellowship came out dry and bland, and afterward, still no one came to fellowship with me. Gradually, I started to develop a negative opinion of the other sisters. I didn’t want to talk to them, and I especially didn’t want to acknowledge Xiao Ya. I would only speak to her reluctantly when it was absolutely necessary to discuss work, and even then, I’d do it with a stony face and a very stiff tone. Seeing me like that, Xiao Ya didn’t dare to talk to me.

One evening, everyone gathered around Xiao Ya asking questions again, and even Su Jie joined them. Watching them talking and laughing as they discussed things, I suddenly felt left out and thought Xiao Ya was doing it on purpose to provoke me. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. A little while later, Xiao Ya asked me a question. I had no intention of answering her, so I pretended not to hear. She asked again, and I snapped back at her with a very harsh reply. Xiao Ya was a bit taken aback and asked, “What’s wrong?” I retorted angrily, “Nothing!” Seeing me like that, Xiao Ya had no choice but to sit back down in her seat. I felt so aggrieved and stifled that I went into another room and started to cry. Xiao Ya came over to see how I was, but I ignored her, feeling that all my pain was her fault. After that, I began to secretly compete with her in my heart. Every morning during our spiritual devotion, I would chime in after the other sisters finished their fellowship, but when Xiao Ya finished hers, I’d remain completely silent. I thought to myself, “I’ll just leave you hanging, and give you a taste of what it feels like to be put in an embarrassing situation.” When we discussed work, I’d quickly add my opinions after others spoke, but when Xiao Ya finished talking, I’d act as if I hadn’t heard a thing, giving her the cold shoulder. Because of the stark contrast in my attitude toward Xiao Ya and the other sisters, the other sisters also began to feel somewhat constrained. They didn’t dare to speak their minds freely during work discussions, which led to low efficiency and poor results in our gatherings. I had thought that acting this way would take Xiao Ya down a notch, but it turned out she wasn’t really affected. Her relationship with everyone was still great, and they still went to her with their problems. This made me very angry. Later, I stopped taking the initiative to discuss matters related to our duty. I didn’t want to talk to Xiao Ya, and I didn’t want to bother with the other sisters either. I kept to myself every day, feeling incredibly repressed and miserable inside.

For a period of time after that, my stomach would start to bloat every evening after dinner, and it was extremely uncomfortable. I tried all sorts of remedies, but nothing worked. One evening, both Xiao Ya and the host sister reminded me that when I encounter an illness like this, I need to reflect on myself and learn my lessons. Only then did I pray to God, asking Him to enlighten and guide me to know myself. As I prayed, scenes of my jealousy toward Xiao Ya flashed through my mind, one after another, and I realized I needed to reflect on this issue.

During my spiritual devotion, I read some of God’s words and gained some understanding of my own state. Almighty God says: “Some people always fear that others are better than they are or above them, that other people will be recognized while they get overlooked, and this leads them to attack and exclude others. Is this not a case of being envious of people with talent? Is that not selfish and despicable? What kind of disposition is this? It is a vicious disposition. Those who only think about their own interests, who only satisfy their own selfish desires, without thinking about others or considering the interests of God’s house, have a bad disposition, and God does not like them. If you are truly capable of showing consideration for God’s intentions, you will be able to treat other people fairly. If you recommend a good person and allow them to train and perform a duty, thereby adding a person of talent to God’s house, will that not make your work easier? Will you not then be showing loyalty in your duty? That is a good deed before God; it is the minimum conscience and reason that those who serve as leaders should possess. Those who are capable of putting the truth into practice can accept God’s scrutiny in the things they do. When you accept God’s scrutiny, your heart will be set straight. If you only ever do things for others to see, and always want to gain others’ praise and admiration, and you do not accept God’s scrutiny, then is God still in your heart? Such people have no God-fearing hearts. Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been devoted, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things. If you think about them frequently and figure them out, it will be easier for you to perform your duty well” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Dispositions). After reading God’s words, I realized that I had been living in a state of jealousy. Ever since Xiao Ya arrived, when I saw everyone go to her with their problems instead of me, the team leader, my heart was out of balance. I felt that she had stolen the spotlight from me, and I was jealous and resentful. To save my so-called dignity as the team leader, I racked my brain during gatherings, trying to figure out how to make my fellowship sound insightful so that the sisters would look up to me. That way, they would come to me to fellowship and resolve any problems or difficulties they had in their life entry. But the more I tried, the less I could fellowship anything at all. Afterward, I didn’t reflect on myself; instead, my resentment toward Xiao Ya grew even stronger. Whether in gatherings or work discussions, I would respond enthusiastically to whatever anyone else said, but whenever Xiao Ya spoke, I’d give her the cold shoulder, deliberately creating awkward silences to put her in an embarrassing situation. It was my indirect way of attacking and excluding her. To my surprise, however, everyone’s relationship with Xiao Ya remained great. I became so angry that I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I even took out my frustrations on my duty. Being jealous of those more capable than me had made me narrow-minded and petty; I couldn’t stand to see others better than me. As soon as I saw someone who was stronger than me, I would try every means to attack and exclude them. When I didn’t get my way, I became negative and started slacking off, neglecting my duty. I was completely neglecting my proper work! In reality, Xiao Ya had good professional skills, and she could fellowship on the truth to solve problems. It was beneficial for both our duty and the sisters’ life entry when they went to her with their issues. God arranged for people who are better than me to be by my side so that we can learn from each other’s strengths to make up for our own weaknesses, help one another to do our duty well, and at the same time, I can continue to grow. I should be cooperating with Xiao Ya, not being jealous of her or excluding her. After that, I opened up to everyone and fellowshipped about my state of jealousy toward Xiao Ya during that time. Not only did Xiao Ya not hold it against me, but she also found some of God’s words to help me. I felt so ashamed and a little regretful, and I thought that I must start cooperating well with her to fulfill our duty. Unexpectedly, from that day on, my stomach bloating went away. After that, when I saw everyone gathered around Xiao Ya asking questions, I didn’t feel so bad anymore, and I was able to cooperate harmoniously with my sisters.

Because my understanding of my corrupt disposition was too shallow, after a while, I relapsed into my old ways. When I saw a few sisters always gathered around Xiao Ya asking questions, my desire for status started acting up again. At that time, An Jie had developed a prejudice against Xiao Ya over some issues. I should have helped resolve the problem and eliminate the barrier between them. But while I appeared to be fellowshipping with An Jie, I actually used our fellowship as an opportunity to deliberately point out Xiao Ya’s faults. This caused An Jie’s prejudice against Xiao Ya to grow even stronger, and after that, An Jie stopped going to Xiao Ya with her problems and started coming to me instead. However, there were always two sisters gathered around Xiao Ya, so by comparison, I was still at a disadvantage. Then I came up with a tactic: “If I just pretend to swallow my pride in front of her, and we ‘reconcile,’ she’ll support my work. Won’t my status as team leader then be secure?” So I said to Xiao Ya, “Look, even though I’m the team leader, I’m not as good as you in many ways. You’re basically the same as the team leader, just without the title. From now on, let’s cooperate together to get the team’s work done well.” After that, I took the initiative to discuss everything related to our duty with Xiao Ya. Whenever she had any ideas or suggestions about our duty, she would also proactively ask for my opinion first, and then I would communicate with the other sisters. Seeing Xiao Ya proactively consult me on everything, I was gloating inside. “I’ve finally turned my rival into my subordinate and rightfully taken the dominant status.” And just like that, we “cooperated harmoniously” for a long time. Later, I was separated from Xiao Ya due to a change in my duty assignment.

Not long after, I happened to read a passage of God’s words exposing how antichrists attack and exclude dissenters, and it immediately made me think of how I had acted before. Almighty God says: “An antichrist has many devices and methods for attacking and excluding dissenters. Aside from public confrontation and repudiation, their most powerful device involves drawing in and recruiting dissenters, making them all listen to them. If dissenters do not listen, the antichrist will suppress them, repress them, and discredit them, in the same way that nonbelievers deal with political opponents. This is how wicked and cruel antichrists are. But sometimes, antichrists will use a soft approach to draw people in. For example, if there is a dissenter whose opinion is not aligned with theirs, they will look at what that person likes and where their weak spots are, using all kinds of contemptible means to bring them to heel. Or they will feign submissiveness and admit their mistakes in front of the dissenter, or go to any lengths to bring the dissenter benefits and satisfy them, or perhaps make their close friends persuade the dissenter; and then, they pretend that they are fellowshipping about the truth with that dissenter, saying: ‘Our pairing up for church work is just perfect; we can share this church fifty-fifty in the future. Even though I’m the leader, I’ll listen to whatever suggestions you have. In fact, it’s me who will be cooperating with you.’ If the dissenter is a person who does not understand the truth, then it will be easy for the antichrist to recruit them. Those who understand the truth will see right through this and say, ‘This one’s a schemer, alright; they’re not openly attacking, but using a trick—instead of hard tactics, they’re coming in softly.’ For an antichrist, the dissenter is a threat to their status and power. Whoever threatens their status and power, no matter who it may be, antichrists will go to any lengths to ‘take care’ of them. If these people truly cannot be brought to heel or recruited, then the antichrists will bring them down or clear them out. In the end, the antichrists will achieve their goal of having absolute power, and being a law unto themselves. This is one of the techniques that antichrists habitually use to maintain their status and power—they attack and exclude dissenters” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Two: They Attack and Exclude Dissenters). After reading God’s words, I was shocked. Isn’t that the same trick I had used on Xiao Ya back then? I realized that when I pretended to swallow my pride in front of her, I was actually trying to recruit her, which is a method of attacking and excluding dissenters. Thinking back to that time, I saw that there were always sisters gathered around Xiao Ya, and everyone, whether they had work problems or difficulties in their life entry, liked to go to her. I felt I could never win against her. So, to secure my status as team leader, I used a softer approach. I deliberately pretended to humble myself in front of her, saying things like “I’m not as good as you” and “You’re basically the same as a team leader.” On the surface, I appeared very humble, but in reality, I wanted to pull her over to my side, make her my assistant, and have her cooperate with my work. That way, everyone would revolve around me. On the surface, it seemed we were “harmonious,” but my motives behind it were so despicable and sordid, and they are detestable to God. I thought about those politicians in the nonbelieving world who use all sorts of methods to contend with their rivals for power. They either smear their opponents or use schemes to recruit them for their own use. To protect my own status, I too had racked my brains, willing to use any despicable and sordid means. How is that the behavior of a believer? I was no different from a disbeliever! I was truly disgusting!

I began to contemplate on why I always had to compete with Xiao Ya. It was mainly because I felt that as the team leader, I had to be number one among everyone, and that no team member could be better or surpass me. Then I saw a passage of God’s words: “No matter what you do, whether it be important or not, you will always need someone there to help you, to give you pointers and advice, or to do things in cooperation with you. This is the only way to ensure that you will do things more correctly, make fewer mistakes and be less likely to go astray—it is a good thing. Serving God, in particular, is a big deal, and not resolving your corrupt disposition could put you in danger! People have satanic dispositions, and can rebel against and oppose God in any time and at any place. People who live by satanic dispositions can deny, oppose, and betray God at any time. The antichrists are very stupid, they don’t realize this, they think, ‘I had enough trouble getting hold of power, why would I share it with anyone else? Giving it to others means I won’t have any for myself, doesn’t it? How can I demonstrate my talents and abilities without power?’ They do not know that what God has entrusted people with is not power or status, but a duty. Antichrists only accept power and status, they put their duties aside, and they don’t do actual work. Instead, they only pursue fame, gain and status, and only want to seize power, control God’s chosen people, and indulge in the benefits of status. Doing things this way is very dangerous—this is opposing God! Anyone who pursues only fame, gain and status rather than properly doing their duty is playing with fire and playing with their life. Those who play with fire and their lives can doom themselves at any moment. Today, as a leader or a worker, you are serving God, which is no ordinary thing. You are not doing things for any person, much less working to pay bills and put food on the table; instead, you are performing your duty in the church. In particular, this duty came from God’s commission. So what does performing it imply? That you will have to be accountable to God for your duty, whether you do it well or not; ultimately, an account must be given to God, there must be an outcome. This is because what you have accepted is God’s commission, a hallowed responsibility, and no matter how important or minor this responsibility is, it is something serious. How serious is it? On a small scale it involves whether you can gain the truth in this lifetime and it involves how God views you. On a larger scale, it directly relates to your prospects and destiny, to your outcome; if you commit evil and oppose God, you will be condemned and punished. Everything you do when you perform your duty is recorded by God, and God has His own principles and standards for how it is scored and evaluated; God determines your outcome based on the entirety of your performance in your duty. Is this a serious matter? It is, indeed! So, if you’re assigned a task, is it your own matter to handle? (No.) That work is not a thing you can complete on your own, but it does require that you take responsibility for it. The responsibility is yours; you must complete that commission. What does this touch on? It touches on cooperation, on how to cooperate in service, on how to cooperate to perform your duty, on how to cooperate to complete your commission, on how to cooperate such that you follow God’s will. It touches on these things” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). After reading God’s words, I understood that when my brothers and sisters elected me as the team leader, they weren’t giving me a status, but rather a responsibility. I was supposed to cooperate harmoniously with everyone, and no matter who had strengths, I should have let them put those strengths to full use. Only by learning from each other’s strengths to make up for our weaknesses could we fulfill our duty. For example, Xiao Ya was technically skilled and was also serious about her life entry. I should have let her give more play to her strengths. This would not only have been beneficial for the church’s work, but it would also have been a help to me in fulfilling my own duty. But ever since I became the team leader, I had lifted myself up to the status of a team leader. All day long, my thoughts were not about how to cooperate harmoniously with everyone to do our duty well; instead, I was obsessed with my own status and image. I saw anyone who surpassed me as a rival and tried every way to suppress them, without any consideration for whether my actions would harm them or affect the progress of our work. How was that doing my duty? I was clearly disturbing the work of the church! I thought about how officials in the country of the great red dragon never allow their subordinates to outshine them or steal their thunder. The moment they sense someone is a threat to their status, they suppress and torment them, and won’t rest until that person is brought down. And there are the antichrists in the church who contend for status. They regard anyone who is better than them as a thorn in their side, suppressing and excluding them, seriously disturbing the work of God’s house without any repentance, and are finally expelled from the church. I saw that the consequences of pursuing status were terrifying! During my time as team leader, I was constantly competing for fame and gain. Even though I held on to my status as team leader, I didn’t fulfill my duty. I even attacked and excluded those who were better than me and disturbed the church’s work. All I had left were transgressions that were detestable to God. I truly regretted it. If time could be turned back, I really wish I could have cooperated harmoniously with Xiao Ya and the others to fulfill our duty.

Later, I watched an experiential testimony video, and a passage of God’s words quoted in it fit my state perfectly. Almighty God says: “In order to obtain power and status, the first thing antichrists do in the church is try to win other people’s trust and esteem, so that they can convince more people, and make more of them look up to and worship them, thereby achieving their goal of having the final say and holding power in the church. When it comes to obtaining power, they are most skilled at competing and fighting with other people. Those who pursue the truth, those who have prestige in the church, and those who are loved by the brothers and sisters, are their primary opponents. Any person who poses a threat to their status is their opponent. They compete with those who are stronger than them unflinchingly; and they compete against those who are weaker than them, without feeling any pity at all. Their hearts are filled with philosophies of competing and fighting. They believe that if people do not compete and fight, they won’t be able to obtain any benefits, and that they can only get the things they want by competing and fighting. In order to obtain status, and to take a preeminent position within a group of people, they do whatever it takes to compete with anyone, and they do not spare a single person who poses a threat to their status. No matter who they interact with, these interactions are filled with competing and fighting, and they keep competing and fighting into old age. They often say: ‘Could I beat that person if I fought against them?’ Whoever is eloquent, and can speak in a logical, structured, and methodical way, becomes the target of their envy and of their imitation. Even more so, they become their opponent. Whoever pursues the truth and possesses faith, and is able to help and support the brothers and sisters frequently, and enables them to emerge from negativity and weakness, also becomes their opponent, as does anyone who is proficient in a certain profession, and somewhat esteemed by the brothers and sisters. Whoever gets results in their work, and obtains the recognition of the Above, naturally becomes an even greater opponent for them. … Antichrists do not necessarily want to occupy the highest position no matter where they are. Whenever they go to a place, they have a disposition and a mentality compelling them to act. What is this mentality? It is ‘I must compete! Compete! Compete!’ Why three ‘competes,’ why not a single ‘compete’? (Competition has become their life, it is what they live by.) This is their disposition. They were born with a disposition that is wildly arrogant and difficult to contain, that is, seeing themselves as second to none, and being extremely egotistical. No one can curtail this incredibly arrogant disposition of theirs; they themselves cannot control it either. So their life is all about fighting and competing. What do they fight and compete for? Naturally, they compete for fame, gain, status, face, and their own interests. No matter what methods they have to use, so long as everyone submits to them, and so long as they obtain benefits and status for themselves, they have achieved their goal. Their will to compete is not a temporary amusement; it is a kind of disposition that comes from a satanic nature. It is like the disposition of the great red dragon that fights with Heaven, fights with the earth, and fights with people. Now, when antichrists fight and compete with others in the church, what do they want? Without a doubt, they are competing for reputation and status. But if they gain status, what use is it to them? What good is it to them if others listen to, admire, and worship them? Antichrists themselves cannot even explain this. In reality, they like to enjoy reputation and status, to have everyone smile at them, and to be greeted with flattering and fawning. So, every time an antichrist goes to a church, they do one thing: fight and compete with others. Even if they win power and status, they are not done. To protect their status and secure their power, they continue to fight and compete with others. They will do this until they die. So, the philosophy of antichrists is, ‘As long as you are alive, do not stop fighting.’ If an evil person like this exists within the church, will it disturb the brothers and sisters? For example, say that everyone is quietly eating and drinking the words of God and fellowshipping on the truth, and the atmosphere is peaceful and the mood pleasant. At this time, an antichrist will simmer with dissatisfaction. They will become jealous of those fellowshipping on the truth and hate them. They will begin to attack and make judgments of them. Will this not disturb the peaceful atmosphere? They are an evil person who has come to disturb and disgust others. That is what antichrists are like. Sometimes, antichrists are not seeking to destroy or defeat those that they compete with and suppress; as long as they attain reputation, status, vanity, and pride, and make people admire them, they have achieved their goal. While they are competing, they reveal a kind of clear satanic disposition. What disposition is this? That, no matter what church they appear in, they always want to compete and fight with other people, they always want to compete for fame, gain, and status, and they only feel that they have accomplished their goal when the church is thrown into disarray and turmoil, when they have gained status and everyone yields to them. This is the nature of antichrists, that is, they use competition and fighting to achieve their goals” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). From God’s words, I understood that constantly fighting with others for the sake of reputation and status, and throwing the church into a chaotic mess, is walking the path of antichrists, who are condemned and eliminated by God. Looking back, I had always believed that as the team leader, my status in the team should be the highest and that everyone should revolve around me. When I saw everyone gathered around Xiao Ya asking questions, I believed she had stolen my status. I was controlled by the satanic poison of “There can only be one alpha male.” I targeted Xiao Ya at every turn and even stirred up trouble between An Jie and her behind their backs. When I finally realized I couldn’t win, I pulled Xiao Ya over to my side. On the surface, I called it cooperation, but in reality, I wanted her to listen to me and be used by me, so that everyone would revolve around me. That way, I could secure my position as the team leader. In my fight for fame and gain, I not only hurt Xiao Ya, but also caused the other sisters to feel constrained and unable to speak freely when discussing work, which affected the progress of the work. The whole reason I was elected as the team leader was to lead everyone in fulfilling our duty, but instead, I was completely preoccupied with competing for status, stirring up jealousy and disputes, judging others behind their backs, and provoking discord among my sisters. I threw the team into a chaotic mess. Wasn’t I just acting as a servant of Satan? I saw myself as a stinking fly that disturbed people’s hearts, annoying everyone. I had forsaken my family and career to do my duty in order to pursue the truth and attain salvation. Yet, I had treated the pursuit of status as the most important thing, constantly fighting for fame and gain. As a result, I disrupted and disturbed the church’s work and walked onto the path of an antichrist without having the slightest awareness of it. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I thought of Paul. Back then, when he saw Peter’s high prestige among the believers, he became jealous. Even though he knew full well that Peter was the one appointed by the Lord Jesus to shepherd the church, he did everything he could to belittle Peter and exalt himself, saying he was the chief of the apostles, so that everyone would look up to and admire him. Later, he remained stubbornly unrepentant and even tried to compete with God for status, shamelessly saying that for him to live was christ. He gravely offended God’s disposition and was punished by God. I was walking the same path as Paul. If I didn’t repent, I would be detested and eliminated by God, just like him.

Later, I found a path of practice in God’s words. Almighty God says: “You must learn to forsake and let go of these things, learn to recommend others, and to let others stand out when there are good opportunities. Do not vie or compete for opportunities to stand out and shine whenever you encounter them. You must be able to give up your personal interests, but you must also not hold up the performance of your duty. Be a person who works in obscurity, doesn’t show off, and also devotedly does their duty. The more you forsake your pride and status, and the more you give up your interests, the more at peace you will feel, the more light there will be in your heart, and the better your state will become. The more you vie and compete, the darker your state will become. If you do not believe Me, try it and see! If you want to turn around this sort of corrupt state, and to not be controlled by fame, gain, and status, you must seek the truth, see through to the essence of fame, gain, and status, and then let go of them and forsake them” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Dispositions). “What are your principles for conducting yourselves? You should conduct yourselves according to your station, find your proper place, and do well the duty that you ought to do; only thus are you a person with reason. By way of example, if you are adept at certain professional skills and have a grasp of principles, you should take on your responsibility and carry out proper vetting in that area; if you can provide ideas and insights, inspiring others so that they can do their duties better, you should provide ideas. If you can find the right place for you and cooperate harmoniously with your brothers and sisters, you will be fulfilling your duty—this is what it means to conduct yourself according to your station” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Principles That Should Guide One’s Self-Conduct). After reading His words, I understood that if I wanted to be free from the constraints and bonds of face and status, I must learn to forsake and let go of these things, and put my duty first. No matter who had strengths, I should let them put those strengths to full use, so we could learn from each other to make up for our weaknesses and fulfill our duty. This would be beneficial for both the church’s work and the life entry of the brothers and sisters, and I could also learn from others’ strengths to make up for my own shortcomings. Understanding this, I told myself: From now on, no matter what duty I do, whenever I encounter brothers or sisters who are better than me, I must learn from them more and cooperate with them harmoniously.

In 2025, I was cooperating with Li Bing and Su Ting on text-based duty. When I saw Li Bing often asking Su Ting about the principles for screening articles, I felt a little uncomfortable. “I know those principles too. Does Li Bing think I’m not as good as Su Ting, so she didn’t even think to ask me?” I realized my jealousy was acting up again, and I thought of God’s words: “Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been devoted, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things. If you think about them frequently and figure them out, it will be easier for you to perform your duty well” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Dispositions). Su Ting had been doing this duty the longest among us and had a better grasp of the principles. If she fellowshipped more, we could all gain more, which would be beneficial for us in doing our duty well. Besides, it didn’t matter who my brothers and sisters asked, as long as the problem got solved. There was no need to compete for that worthless status; I had to put my duty first. When I thought this way, I didn’t feel so bad anymore. Later, I focused on practicing according to God’s words. Whenever I saw a brother or sister who was better than me in some area, I would make a point of learning from them, so we could draw on each other’s strengths and cooperate to do our duty well. Gradually, I felt that I became more broad-minded, and I was no longer so constrained by face and status. My state got better and better. I’ve come to appreciate more and more that competing for fame and gain is meaningless and only makes a person live in pain and repression. Only pursuing the truth and doing one’s duty well has real value and meaning.