By Zhang Xin, China

In 1995, I came to believe in the Lord Jesus. At that time, a preacher used the prophecies in the Book of Revelation to tell us how wonderful the holy city was. He also said the Lord Jesus would soon come to take us to our heavenly home, and that only by forsaking and expending ourselves for the Lord could we enter the holy city in the future. I was so thrilled when I heard this. After that, I eagerly began attending gatherings and making offerings. No matter how my husband, or my brother and his wife, tried to stop me, nothing could shake my resolve to follow the Lord Jesus. Three years later, my husband asked for a divorce because I insisted on my faith in the Lord. I agreed. After that, I offered all my belongings to the church and resolutely left home to preach and work for the Lord. Two months later, I became a co-worker, responsible for over seventy churches. In 2000, a leader told us at a co-workers’ meeting, “A denomination called ‘Eastern Lightning’ has now appeared. They say that God has returned in the flesh as Almighty God, and is doing a new stage of work. This is impossible! They don’t even read the Bible anymore. All of God’s words are in the Bible; there are no words of God outside the Bible. To leave the Bible is to no longer believe in the Lord! They preach everywhere and have stolen many good sheep from all denominations. We must be the Lord’s loyal servants and protect our brothers and sisters, so that we can give an account of ourselves to the Lord in the future! You must never believe in Eastern Lightning’s way. Once you do, you will have left the Lord’s way and be abandoned by Him!” Hearing the leader say this, I thought to myself, “I must be careful, hold fast to the Lord’s way, and protect the flock.” After that, I began to seal off the church. At every gathering place I was responsible for, I repeatedly stressed that strangers were not to be received and no one was to believe in Eastern Lightning’s way. After hearing this, the believers all started being on their guard against people from Eastern Lightning. Soon after, I heard that two sisters had accepted Almighty God. I immediately rushed to their homes to persuade them to turn back. They wouldn’t listen to me and insisted on believing in Almighty God. I was very angry, and I watched over the other brothers and sisters even more strictly. Then I learned that a married couple had also accepted Almighty God. I hurried to their home and brought them back. At that time, I actually believed that I had finally rescued the Lord’s sheep, and that the Lord would surely approve of what I had done.

In February 2002, a sister took me to her home to discuss the Bible with her relatives. They discussed everything, from God’s creation of the world to the work of Jehovah God in the Age of Law, and onward to the work of the Lord Jesus in the Age of Grace. They clearly explained the background and turning points of each stage of work. They also fellowshipped about what kind of people God blesses and what kind He curses. Their fellowship was so illuminating, and something I’d never heard before. I thought their preaching was excellent. After that, they testified to me about Almighty God’s work of the last days. By reading the words of Almighty God and listening to the brothers’ and sisters’ fellowship, I came to understand that the Bible only records God’s work in the Age of Law and the Age of Grace. It’s a historical book and cannot represent all of God’s work. God is always new and never old, and His work is always moving forward. When God returns in the last days, He will do new work that goes beyond the Bible. In this stage, He will do the work of judgment and purification, built upon the foundation of the Lord Jesus’ work of redemption, to completely save humanity from sin and bring people to a beautiful destination. That Almighty God expresses the truth to do His work of judgment in the last days fulfills the Lord Jesus’ prophecies: “He that rejects Me, and accepts not My words, has one that judges him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day” (John 12:48). “I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. However, when He, the Spirit of truth, is come, He will guide you into all truth” (John 16:12–13). In particular, when I saw that Almighty God had unlocked all the mysteries of the Bible, that The Word Appears in the Flesh is the “little scroll opened by the Lamb” prophesied in Revelation, and that it is what the Holy Spirit says to the churches, I realized that the “Eastern Lightning” I had been constantly refusing to accept was actually the appearance and work of the Lord Jesus in the last days. My heart ached with an indescribable pain. I thought about how ever since I’d come to believe in the Lord, I had overcome my husband’s persecution and had made offerings like the poor widow. I had forsaken everything to work for the Lord. I thought I was steadfast on the Lord’s way, devotedly watching over His flock. I’d never imagined that I wouldn’t seek at all when the Lord returned. I blindly clung to my own notions and imaginings, believing that God couldn’t possibly come in the flesh, that His work couldn’t go beyond the Bible, and so on. I arrogantly condemned and resisted God’s work of the last days, sealed off the church to prevent brothers and sisters from investigating the true way, and even brought a couple who had already accepted God’s work of the last days back to my former denomination. The Lord Jesus rebuked the Pharisees, saying: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for you neither go in yourselves, neither suffer you them that are entering to go in” (Matthew 23:13). Weren’t my actions just like those of the Pharisees? I didn’t accept God’s work of the last days myself, and I also did my best to stop other believers from accepting it. Wasn’t that just dragging them down to hell? I had committed so much evil—wasn’t I also destined for woe? My heart was filled with remorse. But then I thought, being able to accept God’s work of the last days was God’s grace and mercy toward me. I had to preach the gospel to make up for my transgressions. Maybe if I preached the gospel more, God wouldn’t remember my transgressions. Later, I took a sister with me to preach the gospel to the couple I had dragged back. I never expected that they would refuse to listen no matter what we said. They even threw the words I had used when I had sealed off the church right back at me. I felt even more heartbroken and full of regret. To make up for my transgressions, I preached the gospel even more. I endured a lot of hardship during that time but never shrank back. I thought, “Perhaps if God sees my devotion and repentance, He won’t hold my transgressions against me and will still give me a chance to be saved.”

One day in 2004, during my devotionals, I read these words from God: “I cannot show lenience toward any who have persecuted Me, any who had no knowledge of Me (including before My name was witnessed), who believed Me to be human, or any who have blasphemed against Me and slandered Me in the past. Even if they were to bear the most resounding witness for Me right now, it still would not do. Persecuting Me in the past was a way of rendering service for Me, and were those people to bear witness for Me today, they would still be My tools” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 85). After reading God’s words, I froze on the spot. My mind went completely blank, and it took me a long while to come around. From God’s words, I saw that God doesn’t show leniency to a single person who has persecuted and slandered Him. Even if they testify to God now, they still cannot receive His lenience; they can only render service for Him. I thought about how I had clung to my notions and imaginings and hadn’t sought or investigated God’s work of the last days at all before. Instead, I had slandered and resisted God, sealed off the church to prevent believers from investigating the true way, and even brought people who had already accepted God’s work of the last days back into my former denomination. I had committed such great evil; surely God would never forgive me. Wasn’t I finished? What good outcome could I possibly have? But I still held on to a sliver of hope. “Could my comprehension be wrong? When God said He ‘cannot show lenience,’ was He talking about people who blasphemed and slandered Him after hearing His words and knowing His work?” I eagerly read God’s words again, each word at a time. God had spoken very clearly. The people He was talking about also included those who blasphemed and slandered Almighty God without ever having heard His words or known Him. Only then was I certain that I was one of those to whom God cannot show lenience. God’s stern words struck my heart. I was terrified, and my whole body went limp. “It seems I don’t even have a chance to repent,” I thought. “No matter how submissive I am in my duty, no matter how much hardship I endure, and even if I bear the most resounding testimony, I still won’t receive God’s lenience. My hope of being saved is completely gone.” During that time, although I was still preaching the gospel, as soon as I thought that God wouldn’t save me, I was incredibly despondent, and I wasn’t as active in preaching the gospel as before. One time, I was walking my bike down the street, watching the crowds of people. I thought to myself, “They all have their own homes. But what about me? When I first started believing in the Lord, I considered the church my home. I never thought that by not recognizing the Lord’s return, I would resist Him, commit unforgivable transgressions, and have no share in the home God has prepared for mankind—God’s kingdom.” At that moment, I felt desolate.

One day I read God’s words and was very moved, and my despondent state turned around somewhat. God says: “As a created being, you should perform the duty of a created being. Do not act against your conscience; what you should do is dedicate yourself to the Creator” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Significance of Saving the Descendants of Moab). I am a created being; it is my duty to preach the gospel and testify to God. I couldn’t stop doing my duty earnestly just because I wouldn’t have a good outcome. Wouldn’t that be lacking conscience and reason? After that, I kept preaching the gospel. I was happy when I got results, but deep down, I always felt a certain heaviness. I thought about how I had transgressed and was different from others—when they preached the gospel, they could gain God’s approval and have hope of being saved, but no matter how much I preached the gospel, I would never be forgiven by God. From time to time, I would feel despondent.

Later, I read God’s words and gained some understanding of my state. Almighty God says: “Many who follow God are only concerned with how to gain blessings or stave off disaster. As soon as God’s work and management are mentioned, they fall silent and lose all interest. They think that understanding such tedious issues will not help their lives to grow or provide any benefit. Consequently, although they have heard information about God’s management, they approach it in an unserious manner. They do not see it as something precious to be accepted, much less do they comprehend it by taking it as a part of their life. The purpose of these people in following God is very simple, and it is for a single goal: to be blessed. These people cannot be bothered to pay heed to anything else that has nothing to do with this goal. To them, there is no goal of belief in God more legitimate than gaining blessings—it is the very value of their faith. If something does not contribute to this aim, whatever it is they remain unmoved by it. This is the case with most people who believe in God today. Their aim and intention seem legitimate, because as they believe in God, they also expend for God, dedicate themselves to God, and perform their duty. They give up their youth, forsake family and career, and even spend years away from home rushing about. For the sake of their ultimate goal, they change their own interests, their outlook on life, and even the direction they pursue; yet they cannot change the aim of their belief in God. They run about for the management of their own aspirations; no matter how far the road is, and no matter how many hardships, dangers, and obstacles there are along the way, they remain persistent and unafraid of death. What power compels them to continue dedicating themselves in this way? Is it their conscience? Is it their great and noble integrity? Is it their determination to battle the forces of evil to the very end? Is it their faith of bearing witness to God without seeking a reward? Is it their devotion of being willing to give up everything to fulfill God’s will? Or is it their dedicated spirit of always forgoing extravagant personal demands? For someone who has never understood the work of God’s management to still expend so much heart’s blood is, quite simply, a miracle! For the moment, let us not discuss how much these people have given. Their behavior, however, is highly worthy of our dissection. Apart from the benefits that are so closely associated with them, could there be any other reasons why people who never understand God would pay such a great price for Him? Here, we discover a problem previously unidentified by man: Man’s relationship with God is merely one of naked self-interest. It is a relationship between a receiver and a giver of blessings. To put it plainly, it is the relationship between an employee and an employer. The employee works hard only to receive the rewards bestowed by the employer. There is no kindred affection in this kind of relationship based on self-interest, only transaction. There is no loving or being loved, only charity and mercy. There is no understanding, only helpless suppressed indignation and deception. There is no intimacy, only an uncrossable chasm. Now that things have gotten to this point, who can reverse such a course? And how many people are capable of truly understanding how dire this relationship has become? I believe that when people immerse themselves in the joyful atmosphere of being blessed, none can imagine how embarrassing and unsightly such a relationship with God is” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Appendix 3: Man Can Only Be Saved Amidst God’s Management). After reading God’s words, I felt both enlightened and ashamed. My relationship with God was just as He had exposed: one of naked self-interest. When I believed in the Lord, I endured persecution and forsook my family to gain blessings and enter the kingdom of heaven. I persisted in leading churches and preaching the gospel through biting cold and scorching heat, no matter how much I suffered. But when faced with God’s work of the last days, not only did I not seek or investigate it myself, but I also condemned and resisted it, even sealing off the church to prevent believers from accepting Almighty God. After accepting God’s work of the last days, I learned that I had done evil and resisted God. My first thought wasn’t how to repent to God, but how I could preach the gospel more to make up for my transgressions and barter for God’s mercy, so that He would give me a chance to enter the kingdom of heaven. When I read that God “cannot show lenience” toward those who had blasphemed and slandered Him, I believed that no matter how hard I tried in my duty, I would never receive God’s lenience, and my hope of salvation was gone. I then became negative and passive in doing my duty. From beginning to end, all I cared about was receiving blessings. I forsook, expended, toiled and worked not to pursue the truth or knowledge of God, but to barter for the blessing of entering the kingdom of heaven. Isn’t this exactly what God exposed as “only helpless suppressed indignation and deception”? In all my years of believing in God, I had never sought God’s intentions. I had never thought about what God wanted me to pursue, what His requirements were of me, how I should show consideration for His intentions and satisfy Him, or how I should pursue the truth to achieve a change in my disposition. In my mind, pursuing the truth in my faith seemed like something extra, and pursuing blessings seemed most realistic. I had truly been blinded by the desire for blessings and had been walking on the wrong path all along. I thought of Paul. He didn’t listen or seek when the Lord Jesus was working; instead, he condemned and resisted the Lord Jesus, hunted down and killed His disciples, and committed many evil deeds. After being struck down by the Lord, he didn’t reflect at all on his past God-resisting actions and essence. He also didn’t pursue knowing the Lord, but only wanted to preach the gospel and gain more people to atone for his sins. After doing a great deal of work, he brazenly demanded a crown from God, saying: “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: From now on there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness” (2 Timothy 4:7–8). I forsook things, expended myself, and did my duty to demand blessings from God; I was walking on Paul’s path. Realizing this, I was filled with remorse and self-reproach, and I cried and prayed to God, “God, I understand now how despicable and ugly I am. Though I have been preaching the gospel and doing my duty all these years, I was actually just using my duty to achieve my goal of receiving blessings. I am truly unworthy to live before You. Dear God, I pray that You will lead me to pursue a change in my disposition and to pursue knowing You.”

Then I read more of God’s words and came to understand a bit about His intention to save man. God says: “Today God judges you, chastises you, and condemns you, but you should know that the point of your condemnation is for you to know yourself. He condemns, curses, judges, and chastises so that you might know yourself, so that your disposition might change, and, even more than this, so that you might know your worth, and see that all of God’s actions are righteous and in accordance with His disposition and the needs of His work, that He works in accordance with His plan for man’s salvation, and that He is the righteous God who loves and saves man, and who judges and chastises man as well. If you only know that you are of lowly status, that you are corrupt and rebellious, but do not know that God wishes to reveal His salvation through the judgment and chastisement that He does in you today, then you have no way of experiencing things, much less are you capable of continuing forward. God has not come to strike down or destroy people, but to judge, curse, chastise, and save them. Until His 6,000-year management plan comes to a close—before He reveals the outcome of each category of man—God’s work on earth will be for the sake of salvation; its purpose is purely to make those who love Him complete—thoroughly so—and to bring them to surrender under His dominion. … God has come to work on earth in order to save corrupt mankind; there is no falsehood in this. If there were, He would certainly not have come to do His work in person. In the past, His means of salvation involved showing the utmost mercy and lovingkindness, such that He gave His all to Satan in exchange for the whole of mankind. The present is nothing like the past: The salvation bestowed upon you today occurs at the time of the last days, when each is sorted according to their kind; the means of your salvation is not mercy or lovingkindness, but chastisement and judgment, in order that man may be more thoroughly saved. Thus, all that you receive is chastisement, judgment, and merciless smiting, but know this: In this heartless smiting there is not the slightest punishment. Regardless of how harsh My words might be, what befall you are but a few words that might appear utterly heartless to you, and no matter how angry I might be, what come upon you are still words of reproach, and I do not mean to harm you or put you to death. Is this not all fact? Know that nowadays, whether it be righteous judgment or unfeeling refinement and chastisement, everything is for the sake of salvation. Regardless of whether today each will be sorted according to their kind or whether all sorts of people will be revealed, the purpose of all of God’s words and work is to save those who truly love God. Righteous judgment is brought to purify man, and heartless refinement is done to cleanse him; harsh words or chastening are both done to purify and are for the sake of salvation” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. You Should Put Aside the Blessings of Status and Understand God’s Intention to Bring Salvation to Man). “God has come to work this time not in order to strike people down, but to save them, to the greatest possible extent. No one is without transgressions—if everyone were struck down, would that be salvation? Some transgressions are done on purpose, while others are involuntary. If you are able to change after you gain some knowledge of the things you do involuntarily, would God strike you down before you do so? Would God save people that way? That’s not how He works! Regardless of whether you have a rebellious disposition or whether you have acted involuntarily, remember this: You should reflect and know yourself. Turn yourself around, right away, and strive for the truth with all your strength—and, no matter what circumstances come about, do not give yourself over to despair. The work God is doing is that of man’s salvation, and He will not arbitrarily strike down the people He wants to save. This is certain” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). I was deeply touched by God’s words. Whether the words God says to people are judgment, condemnation, or curses, they are all for the sake of saving people—to get people to, from His words, know their own corrupt dispositions and the impurities in their faith, know their God-resisting essence, and know God’s righteous, majestic, and unoffendable disposition, so that they develop a God-fearing heart. In this way, they can let go of their wrong intentions, cast off their satanic corrupt dispositions, and attain God’s salvation. I believed in God but didn’t know Him or His work. I resisted God with my arrogant disposition. When God’s gospel of the kingdom was preached to my former denomination, I didn’t seek or investigate it, and even disturbed other believers and hindered them from doing so. God’s judgment and condemnation of my actions fully revealed His righteous disposition. But when God judged and condemned me with His words, He was not determining my outcome, much less putting me in a position of death. God’s purpose was for me to know His righteous, majestic, and unoffendable disposition, so that I could develop a God-fearing heart. His purpose was also for me to understand the nature of my actions, reflect on the root cause of my failure, and be able to repent and change. This is how God purifies and saves me. No matter what God said, His hope was for me to reflect on and understand my rebellious, God-resisting satanic disposition, so that I could repent and change. Just as God says: “The work God is doing is that of man’s salvation, and He will not arbitrarily strike down the people He wants to save. This is certain.” I had delimited God’s work to the Bible, condemning and resisting His work of the last days, and even preventing believers from accepting it. I saw that though I believed in God, I had no knowledge of Him at all. My disposition was extremely arrogant, and I didn’t have the slightest trace of a God-fearing or humble heart. I had committed so much evil that I should have been cursed and punished by God. But God didn’t treat me according to my evil deeds. Instead, He brought me before Him through the gospel preached by my brothers and sisters and allowed me to reflect on and know myself through the judgment, condemnation, and exposure of His words. If it had not been for God’s judgment, I would have believed in Him my whole life and never reflected on or known myself. I wouldn’t have recognized my arrogant nature or realized that all my efforts and expenditures were for the sake of receiving blessings. I would have just continued down the wrong path, rebelling against God, resisting Him, offending His disposition, and ultimately being spurned and eliminated by Him. It was God’s stern judgment that saved me, giving me the chance to know myself and repent to Him. God only judged me with His words; He didn’t punish me, but even allowed me to enjoy so much of the provision of His words and led me to understand many truths. I have received so much from God. Even just to be a service-doer is an act of God’s grace and His exaltation. Even if I don’t have a good outcome and destination in the future, I must still do my duty well. I am so fortunate to have come before the Creator and heard His voice. My life has not been lived in vain. No matter what my outcome is in the future, I thank and praise God!

After that, I read some more of God’s words. I was able to face my transgressions properly, and the path of practice became clearer to me. Almighty God says: “As long as you have a shred of hope now, then whether or not God remembers your past transgressions, what mentality should you maintain? ‘I must pursue a change in my disposition, pursue knowledge of God, never again be fooled by Satan, and never again do anything that would bring shame to God’s name.’ People now are so profoundly corrupted and lack any worth. What key areas determine whether they can be saved and whether they have any hope? The key is, after listening to a sermon, whether or not you can comprehend the truth, whether or not you can put the truth into practice, and whether or not you can change. These are the key areas. If you only feel remorse, and when it comes time to do things you just do whatever you want, in the same old ways, not only not seeking the truth, still clinging to old views, methods, and regulations, and not only not reflecting on and trying to know yourself, but instead getting worse and worse, and still insisting on walking your old path, then you will be without hope, and should be written off. With greater knowledge of God and deeper knowledge of yourself, you will be better able to stop yourself from committing evil and sinning. The more thorough your knowledge of your nature, the better you can protect yourself, and after summarizing your experiences and lessons, you won’t fail again” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “If people want to resolve their misunderstandings about God, then, in one respect, they must get to know their own corrupt dispositions, and dissect and get to know the mistakes they’ve made, the detours they’ve taken, and their transgressions and negligence. Only in this way will they be able to see their own nature clearly and gain knowledge of it. Additionally, they must see clearly why they take the wrong path and do so many things that violate the truth principles, and what the nature of these actions is. Furthermore, they must understand what precisely God’s intentions and requirements are for them, why they are always incapable of acting according to God’s requirements, and why they always go against His intentions and do what they like. Bring these things before God and pray, understand them clearly, and you can then turn your state around, change your mindset, and resolve your misunderstanding of God. Some people always harbor improper intentions no matter what they do, always have evil ideas, and cannot examine whether their inner state is right or not, nor discern it according to God’s words. These people are muddled. One of the clearest characteristics of a muddled person is that after they do something bad, they stay negative when faced with being pruned, even giving themselves up to despair and determining that they’re finished and cannot be saved. Isn’t this the most pitiful behavior of a muddled person? They can’t reflect on themselves according to God’s word, and can’t seek the truth to solve the problem when faced with difficulties. Is this not being very muddled? Can giving yourself up to despair solve problems? Can always struggling in negativity solve problems? People should understand that if they make a mistake or have a problem then they should seek the truth to solve it. They need to first reflect and understand why they committed evil, what their intention and starting point in doing so was, why they wanted to do it and what their goal was, and whether someone encouraged, incited, or misled them to do it or if they did it consciously. These questions must be reflected on and understood clearly, and then they’ll be able to know what mistakes they made and what they themselves are. If you can’t recognize the essence of your evildoing or learn a lesson from it, then the problem cannot be solved. Many people do bad things and never reflect on and come to know themselves, so can such people ever truly repent? Is there any hope for their salvation? Mankind is the progeny of Satan, and regardless of whether or not they have offended God’s disposition, their nature essence is the same. They should reflect on themselves and come to know themselves more, see clearly to what extent they’ve rebelled against and resisted God, and whether they can still accept and practice the truth. If they see this clearly, they’ll know how much danger they are in. In fact, based on their nature essences, all corrupt humans are in danger; it requires a lot of effort for them to accept the truth and it is not easy for them. Some people have committed evil and revealed their nature essence, while some have not yet committed evil but aren’t necessarily much better than others—they just haven’t had the situation or opportunity to do so. Since you have these transgressions, you must be clear in your heart about what attitude you should have now, what you should account for before God, and what He wants to see. You must figure these things out through prayer and seeking; then you’ll know how you should pursue in the future, and will no longer be influenced or constrained by the mistakes you made in the past. You must walk the path ahead and do your duty as you should, and no longer give yourself up to despair; you must emerge completely from negativity and misunderstanding. In one respect, doing your duty now is to make up for your past transgressions and negligence; this is a negative approach and not very desirable, but this is the mindset you should have at the very least. In another respect, you must positively and proactively cooperate, do your utmost to perform well the duty you ought to perform, and to fulfill your responsibilities and obligations. This is what a created being should do. No matter whether you have any notions about God, or you reveal corruption, or you offend His disposition, you must resolve all of this by reflecting on yourself and seeking the truth. You must learn from your failures, and emerge completely from the shadow of negativity” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Pursuing the Truth Can One Resolve Their Notions and Misunderstandings of God). From God’s words, I understood that whether God remembers or forgives my transgressions, as long as there is a sliver of hope for salvation, I shouldn’t give up. I just need to focus on pursuing the truth and a change in my disposition. This is the right path. It’s a fact that I have transgressed, but now, God hasn’t handed me over to Satan, nor has He taken away my eligibility to do my duty. I can read God’s words, do my duty, and still have the chance to pursue the truth and a change in disposition, so I cannot give up. Whether God remembers or forgives my transgressions is up to God; it’s not for me to guess at. All I need to do is pursue the truth. God doesn’t want me to be trapped by my transgressions, doing my duty in a negative state. His intention is for me to understand the cause of my failure so I can repent and change. He wants me to stop delimiting Him by my own notions and imaginings, and stop treating my hard work as leverage for obtaining blessings. No matter what I encounter, big or small, I must view it according to His words and practice His words. God’s words also corrected my wrong views. I used to think I was different from others—that they had hope of salvation from doing their duties, but because of my transgressions, I could only be a service-doer and could never be saved no matter how hard I pursued. This was a misunderstanding of God. After reading His words, I understood that we are all humans corrupted by Satan, and we all have the same God-resisting essence. It’s just that I committed offenses against God’s disposition, which made my problem more serious. That’s a fact. Time cannot be turned back. What God wants to see is my attitude of repentance and my actual manifestations. I prayed to God, “God, I understand Your intention now. For every day I live, I will pursue the truth, pursue a change in my disposition, and do my duty well. Whether You forgive me or not, I am a created being. Even if You have me be a service-doer, I am still a created being. I am willing to do my duty well in a down-to-earth way.” Understanding this, my heart was much more at ease. Now that God has told us all aspects of the truth, I see that pursuing the truth is what’s most important. Regardless of my future outcome or how God treats me, I will focus on pursuing the truth while doing my duty and letting God’s words become my life. This is what I must pursue. After going through this experience, I’ve truly come to feel that God’s judgment is the best salvation for me. Thank God!