Why Won’t I Shoulder a Burden?
By Tongxin, South Korea
In October of 2021, I was practicing as a video work supervisor. I was partnered with Brother Leo and Sister Claire. They’d both been doing this duty for longer than me and had much more experience, and they took the lead in following up on and attending to a lot of the work. I’d also only just arrived and didn’t understand many aspects of the work, so naturally, I only took on a small role. I felt that so long as there weren’t any problems with my work, things would be fine and the others could step in and resolve everything else. That way, I could worry less and I wouldn’t be held accountable by anyone. Gradually, I shouldered less and less of a burden and I ended up understanding and participating in very little of the other two’s work. Whenever we’d discuss work I wouldn’t express any opinions, and in my spare time I’d take it easy and watch secular videos. I felt like doing my duty like this was just fine.
One day, around noon, a leader suddenly came to me and told me that Leo and Claire were going elsewhere to do their duty, and that I’d have to bear more responsibility, put in more effort, and take over the video work. This sudden change left me momentarily dumbstruck. I’d not been in this duty for long, and there was so much work to be followed up on, wasn’t this a lot of pressure? The work they were responsible for was pretty complicated and required constant attention. It would require me to seek out materials to guide those who were lacking in skills, and to do things myself if they couldn’t. Leo and Claire were pretty skilled and were normally very busy. Since I’d just started, surely I’d need to put in even more time. Would I ever have any down time again? If I couldn’t shoulder this responsibility and delayed the work, wouldn’t I commit a transgression? I thought it’d be better for the leader to find somebody more suitable for this responsibility. Seeing that I wasn’t saying anything, the leader asked what was on my mind. I felt very resistant and didn’t want to say anything. After we’d finished discussing work, I just left. When I thought about all the problems and hardship I’d have to shoulder all by myself, I felt suffocated by the pressure and that the days ahead of me would be unbearable. No matter how I looked at it, I still felt unable to bear this responsibility. The leader then sent me a message asking about my state, to which I quickly replied: “I don’t feel up to taking on this work. Maybe you can find somebody more suitable?” The leader then asked me: “On what basis do you judge yourself to be unsuitable?” I really didn’t know how to respond to this question. I hadn’t even tried yet, and didn’t know if I was up to the task. But thinking about the pressure of the work and the physical toll it would take had made me want to refuse. Was this not shirking responsibility and refusing my duty? Then I thought about how all the things I faced each day were permitted by God and that I should submit. So I prayed to God: “God, my two partners are being transferred and I’m being left to take on all the work by myself. I feel resistant and unwilling to submit. I know that this kind of state is incorrect, but I don’t understand Your will. Please enlighten and guide me, so that I may submit.”
After my prayer, a sister sent me a passage of God’s word that really spoke to my state. God says, “What are the expressions of an honest person? First is to have no doubts about God’s words. This is one of the expressions of an honest person. The most important expression of an honest person, furthermore, is to seek and practice the truth in all matters; this is most critical of all. If you say you are honest, but you always put God’s words to the back of your mind and do whatever you want, then is this an expression of an honest person? You say, ‘My caliber is low, but I am honest at heart.’ When a duty falls to you, however, you are afraid of suffering or that if you do not fulfill it well, you will have to bear the responsibility, so you make excuses to shirk it and recommend others to do it. Is this an expression of an honest person? It clearly is not. How, then, should an honest person behave? They should accept and obey, and then be utterly devoted in doing their duties to the best of their ability, striving to meet God’s will. This is expressed in several ways. One way is that you should accept your duty with honesty, not think about your fleshly interests, and not be half-hearted about it. Do not plot for your own benefit. This is an expression of honesty. Another way is performing your duty with all your heart and all your strength, doing things properly, putting your heart and your love into performing your duty in order to satisfy God. This is what should be expressed when honest people perform their duty. If you do not carry out what you know and have understood, if you only give 50 or 60 percent of your best effort, then you are not putting all your heart and all your strength in, you are looking for ways to slack off. Are people who are slippery while performing their duty honest? Absolutely not. God has no use for such slippery and deceitful people; they must be cast out. God only uses honest people to perform a duty. Even loyal service-doers must be honest. People who are perennially careless and perfunctory, who are always looking for ways to slack off—these people are all deceitful, they are all demons, none of them truly believe in God, and they shall all be cast out. Some people think, ‘Being an honest person is no more than telling the truth and not telling lies. It’s easy to be an honest person, really.’ What do you think of this sentiment? Is being an honest person so limited in scope? Absolutely not. You must reveal your heart and give it to God; this is the attitude an honest person ought to have. Therefore, an honest heart is so very precious. What is the implication here? It is that this heart is able to control your behavior and change your states. It can lead you to make correct choices, and it leads you to be able to submit to God and gain His approval. This heart is so precious. If you have this sort of honest heart, then you should live in this sort of state, exhibit this sort of behavior, and have this sort of expenditure” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s word made me feel so ashamed. God says that when faced with their duty, honest people don’t consider whether they’re up to the task, nor are they concerned about the risk that undertaking their duty might entail, much less do they shirk their duty because they are worried about their competency. Rather, they start by accepting and putting their all into it. Only this is an honest attitude. Then I thought about my attitude toward my duty. As soon as I heard my two partners were transferring, I worried about my workload increasing, my worries multiplying, and the pressure on me growing. If the work wasn’t done well, I’d have to take responsibility for it, and so I tried to use the excuse of being unqualified to shirk my responsibility. I was truly deceitful and lacking in conscience. I thought about how in prayer, I always pledged to heed God’s burdens, but when it actually came down to it, I heeded my flesh instead, didn’t practice any of the truths, and just used empty words to deceive God. If I really heeded God’s will, knew that I wasn’t up to the work, and couldn’t find anyone else suitable, then I should have intensified the honing of my skills and cooperated with the others to prevent the video work being impacted. This is what a person with conscience and humanity should do. If I really weren’t up to the task and ended up getting transferred or dismissed, then I should just submit to God’s arrangements. Only this way of practicing is rational. I felt a little calmer at this thought.
I then read a passage of God’s word which gave me some understanding of the attitude I’d had toward my duty. God says, “All who do not pursue the truth perform their duties with a mindset lacking in responsibility. ‘If someone leads, I follow; wherever they lead, I go. I’ll do whatever they’d have me do. As for taking on responsibility and concern, or taking more trouble to do something, doing something with all my heart and strength—that, I’m not up for.’ These people are unwilling to pay the price. They are only willing to exert themselves, not to take on responsibility. This is not the attitude with which one truly performs a duty. One must learn to put their heart into their performance of their duty, and a person with a conscience can put their heart into it. If one never puts their heart into it, that means they have no conscience, and those without a conscience cannot gain the truth. Why do I say they cannot gain the truth? They do not know how to pray to God and seek the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment, nor how to pay consideration to God’s will, nor how to put their heart into contemplating God’s words, nor yet do they know how to seek the truth, how to seek to understand God’s requirements and His will. This is what it is not to be able to seek the truth. Do you have such states, being those in which whatever happens, whatever sort of duty you perform, you are often able to be quiet before God, and to put your heart into contemplating His words, and into seeking the truth, and into considering how you must perform that duty to accord with God’s will and which truths you should possess in order to perform that duty satisfactorily? Are there many times at which you seek the truth in this way? (No.) Putting your heart into your duty and being able to take on responsibility require you to suffer and to pay a price—it is not enough simply to talk about it. If you do not put your heart into your duty, instead wanting always to exert physical effort, then your duty will certainly not be done well. You will simply go through the motions and nothing more, and you will not know how well you have done your duty. If you put your heart into it, you will gradually come to understand the truth; if you do not, then you will not. When you put your heart into performing your duty and pursuing the truth, you then become gradually able to understand God’s will, to discover your own corruption and deficiencies, and to master all your various states. When your only focus is on exerting effort, and you do not put your heart into reflecting on yourself, you will be unable to discover the true states in your heart and the myriad reactions and the outpourings of corruption that you have in different environments. If you are unaware of what the consequences are when there is a problem and you don’t solve it, then you’re in a lot of trouble. This is why it does not do to believe in God in a confused way. You must live before God at all times, in all places; whatever befalls you, you must always seek the truth, and while you do, you must also reflect on yourself and know what problems there are in your state, seeking the truth at once to resolve them. Only thus can you perform your duty well and keep from delaying the work. What is most important is not just performing your duty well, but also that you have life entry and are able to resolve your corrupt disposition. Only thus can you enter the reality of the truth. If what you often ponder in your heart is not matters of performing your duty, if it is not matters that have to do with the truth, and instead, you are entangled in external things, with your thoughts on affairs of the flesh, are you then able to understand the truth? Are you then able to perform your duty well and live before God? Certainly not. A person like that has no way to be saved” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Being Honest Can One Live as a True Human Being). God was really painting a picture of me in His exposure of this type of attitude. When I started on this duty, I didn’t take on any responsibility. I saw that my partners had more experience than me, so I just slipped into the background, and I felt things were fine so long as I could ensure nothing went wrong with my own work. If I did this, then I’d look respectable and not have to tire myself out, so I just focused on my own work and never concerned myself with the work they were responsible for, nor did I take seriously the problems or difficulties that arose in it. When the leader asked why our work was so inefficient, I didn’t have an answer. I wasn’t even aware of the problems or deviations occurring in the work. I finally realized then that I’d been doing my duty very poorly. I’d been spending my days completely hollow, blind, and unconcerned with the problems I was faced with. Even if I was aware of some problems, as soon as I saw they’d have no effect on my position, I’d just leave it be, which affected the progress of the work. This kind of attitude is the same way unbelievers treat their jobs. In what way was I heeding God’s will in my duty? When problems came up in work, I wouldn’t seek the truth or summarize the deviations, nor would I consider how to increase efficiency. I always felt that so long as my partners could take them on, I could relax for a while. Whenever I’d have time, I’d indulge my flesh or watch secular videos. I became more and more dissolute and grew ever further from God. I saw that I had no diligence in my duty. I was just treating it like a job. How could I perform my duty well like this? At this point I finally realized that God’s arrangements had caused my “fallbacks” to leave to give me a chance to practice, to learn to feel concern, to actively shoulder responsibility, to rely on God in difficulties, and seek the principles of the truth. More importantly, this allowed me to recognize that my slack and irresponsible attitude toward my duty was incurring God’s disgust. The pressures of the work would now force me to be diligent in my duty, and give me a chance to repent, and work toward adequately performing my duty. Having understood God’s intentions, I was willing to submit to these circumstances. Over the next few days, I consciously took greater pains in my work, tried to discover more issues in the video work, and sought to resolve them once they had been noted down. I made a study plan and strove to take over the work as soon as possible. Once my state had been adjusted, I had more time for my work, and I spent my days feeling more at peace.
Later, I was partnered up with another sister. To begin with, I was still mindful of being more responsible, but after a while, I found that she was pretty skilled and that she had more professional expertise than I did, so I handed some tasks over to her and then did not involve myself any further. Sometimes, to keep up my reputation, I’d participate in discussions but refrain from making suggestions, thinking: “Seeing as you can handle things, there’s no need for me to worry and I can take it easy for a while.” My leader cautioned me to show greater concern for the work, and for a few days after she said this, I did, but before long, I was back to my old ways. Sometimes, tricky issues would emerge that had to be handled right away, but as soon as I’d see it was work my sister was mainly following up on, I wouldn’t want to bother. I’d deliberately mark the message as unread and pretend not to have seen it, thinking my sister could handle it later. Though I felt this was irresponsible, since the work progress was normal, I didn’t spare it much thought. A few months later, we became responsible for separate parts of the video work. This time, I was without a helper and I was certain to face many difficulties and problems. But when I thought about my lack of responsibility in my duty, and about how this could be good for me, I told myself that I should start by submitting. But after I actually started, I found that I suddenly had a lot more to follow up on, and the number of things I had to handle each day felt endless. On top of that, my professional skills were not great and more and more problems kept revealing themselves. Every video we made received suggestions and I had to put thought into responding to each one. Gradually, the little enthusiasm I had had was all used up, and I’d often wonder to myself, “I’m already trying so hard but there are still so many issues, maybe it’d be better if the leader found somebody more suitable.” Shortly after, a number of our videos got sent back to be redone in a row and I felt even more depressed. I no longer wanted to resolve the tricky issues I was faced with and I yearned all the more for those days when I was partnered with others in my duty, when I could just blithely hide behind them, and didn’t have to take on so much pressure. I’d felt no drive to do my duty, when I walked my legs felt heavy. It was then I realized that I couldn’t keep doing my duty in this state, so I prayed to God. Through seeking, I suddenly remembered Noah. He encountered many difficulties and failures as he built the ark, but he never gave up, and kept going for 120 years, eventually finishing the ark and completing God’s commission. But in the face of my few difficulties, I wanted to offload my burden and head for the hills. Wasn’t I just being a coward? At this thought, I pulled myself together somewhat and was able to face my work problems properly.
During my devotionals, I read this passage of God’s word: “These indolent false leaders treat being a leader or worker as some kind of station to be enjoyed. The duty that ought to be performed and work that ought to be done by a leader they treat as an encumbrance, as a bother. In their hearts, they brim with defiance toward the work of the church: Ask them to keep an eye on the work or find out issues that exist with work, and then follow them up and solve them, and they are full of reluctance. This is the work that leaders and workers are supposed to do, this is their job. If you don’t do it—if you are unwilling to do it—why do you still want to be a leader or worker? Do you perform your duty in order to be mindful of God’s will, or in order to enjoy the trappings of officialdom? Is it not shameless to be a leader if you wish to hold some official position? No one is of lower character, these people have no self-respect, they are without shame. If you wish to enjoy fleshly ease, hurry back to the world and strive for it, grab it, and snatch it as you are able. No one will interfere. God’s house is a place for God’s chosen people to perform their duties and worship Him; it is a place for people to pursue the truth and to be saved. It is not some place for anyone to relish in fleshly ease, much less a place that coddles people. … No matter what work some people do or what duty they perform, they are incapable of succeeding at it, it is too much for them, they are incapable of fulfilling any of the obligations or responsibilities that people ought to. Are they not trash? Are they still worthy of being called people? With the exception of simpletons, the mentally handicapped, and those who suffer from physical impairments, is there anyone alive who ought not to perform their duties and fulfill their responsibilities? But this kind of person is always conniving and playing dirty, and does not wish to fulfill their responsibilities; the implication is that they do not wish to conduct themselves like a proper person. God gave them caliber and gifts, He gave them the opportunity to be a human being, yet they cannot use these in performing their duty. They do nothing, but wish to enjoy everything. Is such a person fit to be called a human being? No matter what work is given to them—whether it be important or ordinary, difficult or simple—they are always careless and perfunctory, always lazy and slippery. When problems arise, they try to push responsibility for them onto other people; they take no responsibility, wishing to keep living their parasitic lives. Are they not useless trash? In society, who does not have to depend on themselves for survival? Once a person is grown, they must provide for themselves. Their parents have fulfilled their responsibility. Even if their parents were willing to support them, they would be uneasy with it, and ought to be able to recognize, ‘My parents have finished their job of raising children. I’m an adult, and I’m able-bodied—I should be able to live independently.’ Is this not the minimum sense that an adult ought to have? If someone truly has sense, they could not continue mooching off their parents; they would be afraid of others’ laughter, of being shamed. So, does an idle loafer have sense? (No.) They always want something for nothing, they never want to take responsibility, they are looking for a free lunch, they want three square meals a day—and for someone to wait on them, and for the food to be delicious—without doing any work. Is this not the mindset of a parasite? And do people who are parasites have conscience and sense? Do they have dignity and integrity? Absolutely not; they are all freeloading good-for-nothings, all beasts without conscience or reason. None of them are fit to remain in God’s house” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers). God’s word compelled me to reflect: Monitoring and understanding the problems in the work, and seeking the truth to resolve them is the job of a leader and worker, but false leaders see this as an encumbrance. This shows that they are not here to perform their duty, but rather to enjoy the trappings of officialdom. I saw that my behavior was also like this. I should have taken responsibility for and resolved the problems and difficulties that emerged, I should have taken this opportunity to seek the truth and make up for my own shortcomings, which would have allowed me to progress faster. But I wanted to refuse my duty because there were too many difficulties. As a supervisor, I didn’t do any real work or resolve any real problems. Was this not just me craving the benefits of status? Looking back on my behavior, though it may have looked like I was doing work when I had partners, the work was in fact divided among several people, and I wasn’t responsible for all that much. My duty was easy, so I was actually having a really good time. When my two partners were transferred, the work pressure really piled on, I needed to suffer to shoulder my responsibility, and so I became resistant, even to the point of wanting to betray God and refuse my duty. Later, although I made amends to my state by eating and drinking God’s word, when I was partnered with a sister with more experience than me, I took on less responsibility again, and I spent my days performing my duty leisurely, unwilling to worry myself. When I was made solely responsible for video work this time and the difficulties mounted, I wanted to run again. I saw that my attitude toward my duty had been so treacherous and that I was ready to excuse myself at the first sign of physical hardship or responsibility. I’d always wanted to switch into an easy and stress-free job, but the truth is, all jobs have some difficulties, and if I didn’t resolve my corrupt disposition, I wouldn’t be able to do any duty properly. I saw that I was sick of the truth by nature and that I didn’t love positive things. I wasn’t there to fulfill a duty, but rather to enjoy blessings. In the end, nothing comes of this kind of faith! In particular, I read in God’s word: “They always want something for nothing, they never want to take responsibility, they are looking for a free lunch, they want three square meals a day—and for someone to wait on them, and for the food to be delicious—without doing any work. Is this not the mindset of a parasite?” I was exactly the type of parasite God was revealing, I only wanted to reap but never sow, and to enjoy the fruits of others’ labor. Wasn’t I just trash then? The more I thought, the more nauseating I found myself. In the past, the people I had hated the most were those freeloaders who still mooch off their parents, fully grown adults who don’t leave the house, who take advantage of their parents, and take on no responsibilities. They are good-for-nothings. But how was my current behavior any different from theirs? In my self-reproachment, I prayed to God: “Oh God, I finally see that I am despicable and insincere in my duty. I have only ever thought about my own flesh and wanted to be a parasite. I am truly terrified by these depraved thoughts. There is so much work in the church that needs urgent cooperation, but I’m not trying to make progress or to take on any burdens. I’m trash. Oh God, I know that this state of mine is wrong, but I just can’t overcome the constraints of my flesh, please enlighten me so that I may understand my problems. I wish to repent and to change.” I also went on to do some thinking. Why was it that I always wanted to flee and refuse my duty whenever the pressure and difficulties mounted in my work? What exactly was the root cause of this? In my seeking, I read the word of God. “Today, you do not believe the words I say, and you pay no attention to them; when the day comes for this work to spread and you see the entirety of it, you will regret, and at that time you will be dumbfounded. There are blessings, yet you do not know to enjoy them, and there is the truth, yet you do not pursue it. Do you not bring contempt upon yourself? Today, although the next step of God’s work has yet to begin, there is nothing exceptional about the demands that are made of you and what you are asked to live out. There is so much work, and so many truths; are they not worthy of being known by you? Is God’s chastisement and judgment incapable of awakening your spirit? Is God’s chastisement and judgment incapable of making you hate yourself? Are you content to live under the influence of Satan, with peace and joy, and a little fleshly comfort? Are you not the lowliest of all people? None are more foolish than those who have beheld salvation but do not pursue to gain it; these are people who gorge themselves on the flesh and enjoy Satan. You hope that your faith in God will not entail any challenges or tribulations, or the slightest hardship. You always pursue those things that are worthless, and you attach no value to life, instead putting your own extravagant thoughts before the truth. You are so worthless! You live like a pig—what difference is there between you, and pigs and dogs? Are those who do not pursue the truth, and instead love the flesh, not all beasts? Are those dead ones without spirits not all walking corpses? How many words have been spoken among you? Has only a little work been done among you? How much have I provided among you? So why have you not gained it? What do you have to complain of? Is it not the case that you have gained nothing because you are too in love with the flesh? And is it not because your thoughts are too extravagant? Is it not because you are too stupid? If you are incapable of gaining these blessings, can you blame God for not saving you? What you pursue is to be able to gain peace after believing in God, for your children to be free from illness, for your husband to have a good job, for your son to find a good wife, for your daughter to find a decent husband, for your oxen and horses to plow the land well, for a year of good weather for your crops. This is what you seek. Your pursuit is only to live in comfort, for no accidents to befall your family, for the winds to pass you by, for your face to be untouched by grit, for your family’s crops to not be flooded, for you to be unaffected by any disaster, to live in God’s embrace, to live in a cozy nest. A coward such as you, who always pursues the flesh—do you have a heart, do you have a spirit? Are you not a beast? I give you the true way without asking for anything in return, yet you do not pursue. Are you one of those who believe in God? I bestow real human life upon you, yet you do not pursue. Are you no different from a pig or a dog? Pigs do not pursue the life of man, they do not pursue being cleansed, and they do not understand what life is. Each day, after eating their fill, they simply sleep. I have given you the true way, yet you have not gained it: You are empty-handed. Are you willing to continue in this life, the life of a pig? What is the significance of such people being alive? Your life is contemptible and ignoble, you live amid filth and licentiousness, and you do not pursue any goals; is your life not the most ignoble of all? Do you have the gall to look upon God? If you continue to experience in this way, will you not acquire nothing? The true way has been given to you, but whether or not you can ultimately gain it depends on your own personal pursuit” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). From the stern words of God, I felt that God holds the utmost disgust and antipathy for people who crave comfort, that to Him, they are just animals. They are idle loafers, unwilling to work to make progress, fond of idling about, and ultimately, they perform no duty properly and gain no truth. They are trash. This was how I was. I liked my duty to go smoothly, and so long as I had a duty and I didn’t get dismissed or cast out, things were fine. But as soon as I was faced with difficulties that required me to suffer or pay a price, I’d shrink back. I just wanted to pick jobs that were simple and straightforward, and I upheld the satanic life principles of “Enjoy life whilst you’re alive” and “Treat yourself well.” Because of these views, I always craved comfort and was annoyed whenever the work I was responsible for piled up, worrying that it would cut into my leisure time. When I needed to learn some more skills, I didn’t really pay a price for it, meaning after a while, I hadn’t made much progress on my skills and couldn’t handle the work. I even sometimes neglected my duties and watched secular videos under the pretense of learning skills, becoming ever number and darker in spirit. As a supervisor, when problems appeared in the work, I should have actively followed up and resolved them, but as soon as I saw the problems were a little tricky, I just used some tricks to ignore them, delaying the progress of the work. Even more serious was my constant will to find somebody to take my place and relieve the pressure on me. I knew that making videos was very important to gospel work, yet I’d satisfy my flesh and flee at every crucial moment, not taking on any responsibility. I thought of the children whose parents had raised them to adulthood, but when the time comes to sacrifice for their family, fear suffering and are unwilling to take on responsibility. This kind of person has no conscience and is a thankless wretch. I thought about how my behavior had been just like this. God had guided me to this point and had allowed me to perform such an important duty, yet I always feared suffering and only heeded my flesh. I had no conscience whatsoever! I couldn’t see the meaning of suffering for my duty, always craved bodily comfort, and couldn’t perform any duty properly. I then realized that Satan has imbued people with these philosophies of “Enjoy life whilst you’re alive” and “Treat yourself well,” leading them to become ever more depraved, selfish, and deceitful. If I kept craving comfort, wouldn’t I be bringing ruin upon myself? I always complained about the hardships of my duty and loathed to part with my physical comforts. Not only was I losing my chance to gain the truth, but I was also making a mess of my duty and leaving nothing behind me but transgressions. Eventually, I was certain to be rejected and cast out by God!
I started seeking a path of practice. I read the word of God: “Suppose God’s house gives you a job to do, and you say, ‘Whether the job is a chance to stand out or not—since it’s been given to me, I’ll do it well. I will take on this responsibility. If I’m assigned to reception, I’ll give my all to doing that work well; I’ll look after the brothers and sisters well, and I won’t let problems come up. If I’m assigned to spread the gospel, I’ll equip myself with the truth and lovingly spread the gospel and perform my duty well. If I’m assigned to learn a foreign language, I’ll study it diligently and work hard at it, and learn it well as quickly as possible, within a year or two, so that I can testify of God to foreigners. If I’m assigned to write articles, I’ll conscientiously train myself to do so; I’ll learn about language, and though I may not be able to write articles with beautiful prose, I’ll at least be able to put things clearly, to fellowship comprehensibly about the truth, and to give true testimony for God, such that when people read my articles, they’re edified and benefited. Whatever job the church assigns me, I’ll take it up with all my heart and strength, and if there’s something I don’t understand or a problem comes up, I’ll seek the truth, pray to God, understand the principles of the truth, and do the thing well. Whatever my duty, I’ll use everything I have to perform it well and satisfy God. For whatever I can achieve, I will do my best to take on all the responsibility that is mine to bear, and at the least, I will not go against my conscience and reason, or be careless and perfunctory, or be wily and truant, or enjoy the fruits of others’ labor. Nothing I do will be beneath the standards of conscience.’ This is the minimum standard of human comportment, and one who performs their duty in such a way may qualify as a conscientious, reasonable person. You must at least be clear of conscience in performing your duty, and you must feel at least that you earn your three meals a day and are not scrounging for them. This is called a sense of responsibility. Whether your caliber is high or low, and whether or not you understand the truth, you must have this attitude: ‘Since this work was given me to do, I must treat it seriously; I must make it my concern and do it well, with all my heart and strength. As for whether I can do it perfectly well, I can’t presume to offer a guarantee, but my attitude is that I’ll do my best to see it done well, and I certainly won’t be careless and perfunctory about it. If a problem arises, I should take responsibility then, and ensure I draw a lesson from it and perform my duty well.’ This is the right attitude. Do you have such an attitude?” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers). God’s words really inspired me. Since the church put me in charge of this work, I had to assume all the responsibilities an adult is capable of taking on. No matter how high my caliber, how capable I was at my work, or the number of difficulties I faced in my duty, I couldn’t shrink back, I had to press on and put my all into taking on this work. Later, whenever we’d finish making a video and take on others’ suggestions, no matter if it was a problem I wasn’t aware of or that I didn’t know how to handle, I’d always actively seek out a path to solve it or try to find some people with experience that I could consult. Gradually, I became more familiar with these skills and clearer on principles. Before, whenever there’d be a tricky problem, I’d habitually foist it onto one of my partners to handle, not reply promptly to messages in the group chat, and drag my feet. Now, I’m able to actively take on responsibility and shoulder more of a burden in my duty. Though there would be difficulties in the course of our cooperation, when I attentively rely on God, and through discussion with everyone, the path we should take becomes ever clearer. It was only after this experience that I realized how selfish and deceitful I was, that I was treacherous and lazy in my duty, unwilling to shoulder responsibility. When I fixed my attitude toward work, and was willing to be mindful of God’s burden and put my all into cooperating, I saw God’s leadership and guidance, I gained faith within me, and I became willing to practice being a rational and conscientious person that attends to their duties.
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