From Suffering Is Emitted the Fragrance of Love
By Xiaokai, Jiangxi Province
I’m an ordinary country woman and, because of the feudalistic idea of only valuing male children, I was unable to raise my head in front of others for shame of having borne no son. Just when I was suffering the most, I was chosen by the Lord Jesus and, two years later, I accepted theof . Moreover, I understood much truth from within the words of Almighty God and my spirit obtained true release. However, while I was performing my duty to repay God’s love, I was twice arrested by the CCP government and I suffered brutal torture and torment at the hands of the CCP’s pawns. Just when I was on the verge of death, the words of Almighty God continually guided me and inspired me and allowed me to stand witness in the midst of Satan’s cruel harm, thereby strengthening my determination to follow God and love God for all my life.
Around 5 p.m. one afternoon, in May 2003, I was on my way to perform my duty when suddenly the village committee secretary rode up on a motorbike and blocked my path. He barked orders at me, saying: “Stop! What are you doing? Come with me!” I was taken by surprise, and I realized that I had been followed. I immediately thought of the pager, the church’s cash receipts and other things I had in my bag and that, once these things were in his hands, it would bring about great loss for the church’s work. So I ran as fast as I could, hoping to find an opportunity to throw away the things in my bag, but I didn’t get very far before he caught me. Not long after, a black car drove up and out of it sprang five or six ferocious-looking policemen who surrounded me at once. They laughed maliciously and said: “This time we’ve really got you, the leader. Still think you can run away? Dream on!” Then they forcefully twisted my hands behind my back, put me in the police car and took me to the local police station.
When I got to the police station, the evil police shoved me into a small, dark, foul-smelling room, and they began to bellow fiercely at me: “Come clean! What’s your name? Where are you from? What are you doing here? Speak up!” My heart was thumping, seeing their threatening manner, and I feared that the things in my bag would fall into their hands, and I was also afraid that they would torture me cruelly. While all this was happening, I cried desperately to God: “Oh Almighty God, today it is by your permission that I have fallen into the hands of devils. No matter what they do to me, I desire only to stand by You. I pray for the wisdom and the faith to stand witness.” Just at that moment, I thought of God’s words: “You shouldn’t be afraid of this and that. No matter how many difficulties and dangers you face, you shall remain steady before Me…. Be not afraid; with My support, who could ever block the road?” (“Chapter 10” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in). Yes indeed, God is unique. He administers all things and rules sovereign over everything, so aren’t these few evil policemen even more part of the arrangements of God? With God’s presence and support, what more was there to fear? God’s words gave me faith and my entire body became filled with strength, never again to fear Satan. But at that time, I was still concerned about the things in my bag, and my heart constantly cried out to God for protection. I thanked God for hearing my prayer—this gang of evil policemen merely interrogated me and did not search my bag. When the time came for them to change shifts, they all left the room, and I hurriedly took the accounting receipts and faith materials that were in my bag and threw them out the window. Then I broke the pager on the floor and tossed it into the trash can, and only then could I breathe a sigh of relief. I’d only just finished doing this when the new shift of evil policemen entered the room. They gave me a fierce look, then they hastily went through my bag, but found nothing. I saw with my own eyes God’s almightiness and sovereignty, and my faith was greatly increased. Because they had come up empty-handed, the evil policemen questioned me furiously, asking who exactly I had contact with, who the upper-level leaders were, and so on. I was afraid I would let something slip and fall into their trap, so I said nothing at all. Seeing this, five or six evil policemen came at me all at once in a fit of beating and kicking, cursing me as they did so, saying: “If you don’t tell us, we’ll beat you to death!” I was beaten so hard I was curled up into a ball, rolling back and forth on the ground. One evil policeman then violently pulled me by the hair and threatened me fiercely: “You’re still really damn stubborn. You won’t speak? We have our ways, so you’ll see how we sort you out tonight!” I knew God was with me, and so I faced the coming interrogation and torture with a calm heart.
It was after 8 p.m. that night when two evil policemen handcuffed me and escorted me to the Municipal Public Security Bureau. Upon entering the interrogation room, an evil policeman in his forties began to play the good cop, trying to entice and persuade me: “You’re young, and you’re pretty. What’s all this about believing in God? Cooperate with our work. So long as you tell us who the upper-level leaders are, I’ll get someone to take you home straight away. I can help you with any difficulty you may have. Why suffer here? …” Because of God’s protection, I knew that this was Satan’s cunning ploy, and I paid no attention to him no matter what he said. The evil policeman saw that his ploy hadn’t worked, so he immediately showed his true colors. He seized me by the hair and pressed me against the floor, cruelly kicking my head until I became dizzy and felt the whole place spinning. With that he stomped on my head and said very ferociously: “Not speaking? I’m going to pull out all the stops to torture you today, and you’ll wish you’d never been born. Will you tell us what we want to know?” Seeing that I still said nothing, he called in several more evil policemen who dragged me to my feet and began to slap my face over and over, until my face hurt so much it felt like it was burning with fire. But no matter how they beat me, I continually and silently prayed to God, gritted my teeth and said not one word. Seeing that I was still not surrendering, they dragged me to another room, spluttering with rage. An evil policeman picked up a taser and laughed maliciously at me, saying: “Doesn’t matter that you’re being stubborn. We have our ways! Let’s see which will hold out the longest—you or our taser!” Then he jabbed me with it ruthlessly. In an instant, my whole body was shocked by an enormous electrical current and I convulsed involuntarily. It was as though countless insects were biting my body, and I couldn’t help but emit spasmodic, shrill cries. Without waiting for me to catch my breath, another evil policeman took up a stack of thick magazines and began pounding them on my head with all his strength, and then, he wrenched me by the hair and cruelly slammed my head against the wall. Everything went black and I fell to the floor. The evil policemen bellowed at me, “Pretending to be dead!” Then they dragged me up from the floor and ordered me to kneel, but I was so weak that I could only kneel for a few moments before collapsing to the floor again. At that point, I really felt like I couldn’t hold on any longer, I couldn’t help feeling weak, and I thought: “These devils are truly so brutal, and I really will die today in their hands….” In pain and helplessness, I prayed to God in absolute earnest, asking God to guide me, and for the strength to defeat Satan. Just then, God’s words flashed in my mind: “Almighty God, the Head of all things, wields His kingly power from His throne. He rules over the universe and all things and He is guiding us on the whole earth. We shall often be close to Him … If you have but one breath, God will not let you die” (“Chapter 6” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words made me understand that God held my life in His hands and that, so long as God didn’t give His permission, then these devils wouldn’t dare take my life. I thought of how I had followed God so far, how God had protected me all the way along, how I had enjoyed God’s love so much and so greatly, and I thought of how the situation now unfolding was God’s way of testing my loyalty and my love, and that it was an opportunity for me to repay God’s love. The devils were torturing me in this way with the contemptible aim of getting me to betray God; but I would be unyielding and determined. Even if they tortured me to death, I would still not surrender to Satan. There was no way I would be a Judas just so I could drag out an ignoble existence. I wouldn’t let Satan’s plot succeed—I had to stand witness for God and allow God’s heart to be comforted! God’s words lent me inexhaustible strength; I forgot the pain that wracked my whole body, and I then had the faith and the courage to carry on fighting these devils.
Then, to extract a confession out of me, the evil police began taking turns guarding me and preventing me from sleeping and pressing me with questions over and over: “Who are the upper-level leaders in your church? Where do they live? Who else is a member? …” Seeing me stay silent, every now and then they would grab me by the hair and kick me. I had only to close my eyes and they would beat and kick me and use the toe caps on their leather shoes to stomp on and grind my knuckles with all their might. A piercing pain caused me unspeakable suffering, and I just kept screaming. They punted me around like a football. … As dawn approached, I’d been tortured to the point that my body was covered in countless bruises and I was in unbearable pain. Thinking of how I’d never before suffered such hardships, and thinking of the damage and torment I was suffering now at the hands of the CCP’s evil police because of my belief in God, I was suddenly overcome with a wave of weakness and grief. At that point, all was dark inside me, and my fear grew and grew, not knowing what kinds of cruel torture they had in store for me next. As I lay in pain, I prayed silently to God: “Oh, Almighty God, I ask You to enlighten me and lead me to understand Your will in my plight, so that I may not lose my.” As I prayed, I thought of a hymn of God’s words: “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must give yourself to the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. … You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. … You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment” (“You Should Give Up Everything for the Truth” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). God’s words awakened my heart and made me understand that the pain of persecution I was suffering now for my belief in God was of the utmost value and of the utmost significance. I understood that God was using this environment of suffering to show me clearly Satan’s essence that is in enmity to God, so that I would be able to forsake it utterly and thereby turn my heart back to God and achieve a true love for God. God has already endured all pain in order to save me, so shouldn’t a corrupt human such as I suffer even more for the sake of gaining the truth and in order to attain a true change in my life disposition? I thought, “This suffering is something I should endure in my pursuit to obtain salvation, and I need this kind of plight to temper me and edify me; this is what my life needs and I desire to accept God’s great love. Today, I suffer alongside Christ and I share both in Christ’s kingdom and in His tribulations—this is entirely by the elevation of God, it is God’s greatest love and blessing to me, and I should be happy.” Thinking this, my heart felt so comforted, and I ceased to believe that encountering such an environment was something painful, but on the contrary I felt that God had bestowed a special blessing upon me. I silently offered up a prayer to God: “Oh, Almighty God! I give thanks to You for enlightening me so that I understand Your will. No matter how Satan torments me, I absolutely will not compromise or surrender to it. Whether I live or die, I wish to submit to Your orchestrations, devote myself entirely to You, and love You until I die!” The evil police tortured me for two nights and a day and got nothing from me at all. In the end, all they could say was that I had already been “Godized,” and I was sent to the detention house.
As soon as I got to the cell at the detention house, the head of the cell block, having been incited by the evil police, began threatening me: “Come on, confess or you’re in for it!” Seeing that I was not going to yield, she colluded with the other prisoners to punish me in every way possible: They gave me nothing to eat, gave me no hot water, they made me sleep on the freezing cement floor every night, and made me do the dirty and exhausting work. If I didn’t finish it I had to put in overtime, and if I didn’t do it well enough I was verbally abused and made to stand as a punishment…. Every day I had to face being ridiculed, humiliated, discriminated, beaten and verbally abused by the other prisoners. What’s more, my money had been confiscated by the evil police so, without a penny to my name, I couldn’t even buy toiletries and other daily necessities. I had no idea when these days would end and inside I felt so sorrowful, so lonely and so in pain, wishing always to get out of that demonic place as soon as I could. But the more I wanted to get out of that environment, the darker and more distressed my heart became, and tears fell unconsciously from my eyes. In my helplessness, I could only tell God again and again of my pain, hoping earnestly for God to lead me once again and make me able to obey His orchestrations and arrangements. God is my help and my support at all times, and once again He led me to think of this passage of His words: “No matter how God works or what kind of environment you are in, if you are able to pursue life, seek to have God’s work carried out within you, and pursue the truth, and if you have an understanding of God’s actions and are able to act according to the truth, then this is your genuine faith and this shows that you have not lost hope in God. Only if you are still able to pursue the truth through refinement, you are able to truly love God and do not develop doubts of Him, if no matter what He does you still practice the truth to satisfy Him and you are able to deeply seek out His will and be considerate of His will, then this means you have true. Before, when God said that you would reign as a king, you loved Him, and when He openly showed Himself to you, you pursued Him. But now God is hidden, you cannot see Him, and troubles have come upon you. At this time, do you lose hope in God? So at all times you must pursue life and seek to satisfy . This is called genuine faith, and it is the truest and most beautiful kind of love” (“Those Who Are to Be Made Perfect Must Undergo Refinement” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words were like a loving mother soothing a distressed child, and they gave me great comfort and encouragement. I felt that God was right beside me watching over me and expecting me to be able to maintain my true faith in God before Satan, endure pain and abandon that which I loved, thereby gaining the ability to love and satisfy God and stand witness for God in the midst of painful environments and when beset by the forces of darkness—this is the most powerful testimony that puts Satan to shame. Though I was caught in this devils’ lair, God’s love was always with me. When I suffered cruel torture and torment and I felt weak, and when I endured Satan’s attacks and felt pained and distressed, I could always see God’s provision for my life, I could feel the consolation of God’s love, and I could see the hand of God opening the way out for me. I thought to myself, “God is always by my side, looking out for me and accompanying me. God’s love for me is so profound; how could I ever disappoint His will? I ought not to pander to my flesh and even less should I try to flee the environments God arranges for me. I ought to recall the faith I had before, devote my true love to God and bear witness for God before Satan.” Thinking these things, the pain in my heart dissolved, and I resolved to love and satisfy God even if I had to suffer all agonies. I couldn’t help but sing a church hymn: “With heart and spirit, why can’t man love God? God is my support, what more is there to fear? I should fight with Satan till the end. God lifts us up and we should leave everything behind and share in the suffering of Christ. I prepare my love and devote it all to God, and come with God in glory …” (“The Kingdom” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). When I strengthened my faith and desired to satisfy God, I once again experienced God’s tender love for me. God arranged for a prison officer to give me many items for my daily use. My heart was so moved and I thanked God from the bottom of my heart. After 40 days, the evil police saw they had no way of getting anything from me, so they forced charges on me for being a “Xie Jiao member,” and asked my family to pay several thousand yuan before releasing me.
I thought I would have my freedom back once I got home, but the CCP police never let up monitoring me and they still restricted my personal freedom. They forbade me from leaving my house, ordered me to always be available to them, and dispatched someone to monitor me. They even threatened my family almost every few days, warning them to keep a close eye on me. From the outside, it seemed as though I had been released, but in reality I had been placed under house arrest by the evil police. I therefore didn’t dare to make contact with my brothers and sisters in the church, nor could I perform my duty, and my heart felt so oppressed and pained. The thing that made me even more indignant was that the evil police were deluding people in my village with their evil lies, telling them that my belief in God had driven me mad, that I wasn’t right in the head and that I was capable of anything…. In the face of such despicable rumor-mongering and slander, I couldn’t help but be consumed with anger. I thought to myself, “I can’t be controlled by those devils in this way, and I should struggle to free myself from their demonic clutches and repay God’s love.” And so, in order to elude monitoring by the evil police, I had no choice but to leave home and go perform my duty.
Three years passed in the blink of an eye. I thought the CCP police wouldn’t be monitoring me any longer, so I returned home to perform my duty. However, it came as a bolt out of the blue when, early one morning in August 2006, before I’d even been home for more than a few days, the evil police came to pay me a visit. That morning, a voice hollering woke me with a start from sleep: “Hurry up and open the door, or else we’ll break it down!” My husband had only just opened the door when seven or eight evil policemen swept in like bandits and, without any explanation, got hold of me and hauled me to their car. Because God was protecting me, I felt no fear. I just prayed and prayed: “Oh, Almighty God! Today I have fallen once again into the hands of these devils. May You protect my heart, give me strength, and may I once again bear witness for You.” Once we got to the police station, the evil police forcibly took my photo and my fingerprints. They then took up a list of names and began to press me with questions: “Do you know these people? Who are your associates?” Seeing the familiar names of some of my sisters on the list, I responded composedly: “I don’t know them, and I have no associates!” No sooner had I finished speaking than one of them roared at me, “You disappeared for several years, so where were you? You do have associates. Do you still believe in Almighty God? Come clean.” The evil policeman’s words made me at once both sad and resentful, and I couldn’t suppress my anger. I thought, “That which I believe in today is the one true God who made the heavens and earth and all things. That which I pursue is the truth, the path I walk is the right path in life, and all these things are bright and just. And yet these devils, so utterly devoid of conscience, keep pursuing and abusing me, restricting my personal freedom, forcing me out of my own home, separating me from my own flesh and blood and trying to force me to betray God. What’s wrong with believing in God and seeking to be a good person? Why won’t they allow me to follow Almighty God and walk the right path in life? The gang of devils that make up the CCP government are really so reactionary and godless; they are irreconcilable enemies to God and even more so they are enemies with whom I cannot co-exist.” In my sadness and resentment, I couldn’t help but bring Almighty God’s words to mind: “These lackeys! They repay kindness with hate, they have long since disdained God, they abuse God, they are savage in the extreme, they have not the slightest regard for God, they plunder and pillage, they have lost all conscience, and have not a trace of kindness … Their meddling has left all beneath heaven in a state of darkness and chaos! Religious freedom? The legitimate rights and interests of citizens? They are all tricks for covering up sin! … Thousands of years of hate are concentrated in the heart, millennia of sinfulness are inscribed upon the heart—how could this not inspire loathing? Avenge God, completely snuff out His enemy, do not allow it to run rampant any longer, and do not permit it to kick up as much trouble as it wishes anymore! Now is the time: Man has long since gathered all his strength, he has devoted all his efforts, paid every price, for this, to tear off the hideous face of this demon and allow people, who have been blinded, and have endured every manner of suffering and hardship, to rise up from their pain and turn their backs on this evil old devil” (“Work and Entry (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). From these words of God I understood His will, and there arose in me a bitter hatred of these devils. God created the heavens and earth and all things and He raises mankind; mankind enjoys God’s abundant bounty, and believing in God and worshiping God has always been right and proper. And yet the CCP government does everything it can to brutally repress those who believe in Almighty God; it hunts them wildly, imprisons them illegally, tortures and torments them cruelly, detains them in labor camps and insults and mocks them, hoping in vain to exterminate all those whoand to abolish God’s work to save man in the last days—it really is wicked and despicable in the extreme! Over these years, if it hadn’t been for Almighty God protecting me and caring for me, I would have long ago been cruelly put to death by Satan the devil. In the face of this spiritual battle of life and death, I made the resolution to stand up for the truth and still love God even though I suffer extreme pain. I pledge my life to stand witness for God!
Seeing me glaring at them without saying a word, the evil police raged at me in exasperation: “You won’t talk, eh? Wait until our bosses come to interrogate you themselves, and we’ll see if your mouth stays shut!” Hearing that the chiefs of the evil police were going to interrogate me themselves, I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. Then I thought of how, in the midst of all this adversity, I had truly experienced God’s sovereignty over all and His administering of all things, and of how God’s words have a unique authority and a powerful vitality. Having realized this, there immediately arose within me the faith and courage to prevail over Satan’s forces of darkness. Though these evil policemen are extremely cruel and merciless, they are just paper tigers—they look strong on the outside but inside they are weak—and they also are manipulated by the hands of the Creator. In my heart, I made the following resolution to God: “Oh, God, no matter how the devils torment me, I ask only that You steady my faith, strengthen my heart that loves You, and let me become Your victorious testimony even at the cost of my own life.” It must have been after 10 a.m. when there came two men calling themselves deputy directors of the Public Security Bureau. They looked at me without saying a word, then one of them seized me by the hair and pressed me with questions: “Do you still believe in Almighty God?” Seeing that I stayed silent, the other evil police chief roared savagely: “If you don’t talk, we’re gonna put you through hell today!” As he said this, barking like a wild beast, he grabbed hold of my hair and threw me to the ground, and I fell so hard that I was unable to get up again. They then dragged me by the hair and beat and kicked me, shouting as they beat me: “Will you talk?” All at once, my face burned with pain and my scalp hurt unbearably like it had been torn apart. These two beasts in human clothing looked from the outside like respectable gentlemen, but underneath they were as savage and ruthless as wild animals. They made me see even more clearly that this evil political party—the CCP—is the embodiment of Satan, and its pawns are a gang of wicked demons and evil spirits! They will ultimately meet with God’s curses! These two bosses of the evil police saw that I was not willing to surrender to their despotic power, so, in a seemingly maniacal rage, they grabbed hold of my hair and began to press me against the ground, both using their feet to wantonly kick and stomp on me. Then they dragged me up and fiercely stomped on the backs of my legs, kicking me down hard so I fell kneeling to the ground, and they said savagely: “Kneel and don’t move! You can stand up when you come clean. If you won’t talk, then don’t even think about it!” If I moved even slightly, they would violently pull my hair and beat and kick me. I knelt for three or four hours, during which time I was beaten countless times by them because I couldn’t hold myself up. In the end, I collapsed in a daze to the ground, and they scolded me for pretending to be dead while relentlessly and violently pulling my hair so that my scalp felt as if it were being torn from my head. At that moment, it was as if my entire body had fallen to pieces—I couldn’t move a muscle and I was in unbearable pain. I felt like my heart would stop beating at any moment. I kept calling on God to give me strength, and God’s words of exhortation and encouragement drifted into my mind: “Peter was able to love God unto death. When he died—when he was put on the cross—he still loved God; he did not think of his own prospects or pursue glorious hopes or extravagant thoughts, and he sought only to love God and to obey all of God’s arrangements. Such is the standard you must achieve before you can be considered to have borne testimony, before you become someone who has been made perfect after having been conquered” (“The Inside Truth of the Conquering Work (2)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words gave me faith and strength. I thought to myself, “Yes! Peter was nailed upside down on the cross for God and he was still able to love God greatly even when his flesh was in unendurable pain. He overcame the flesh, defeated Satan, and only this kind of testimony is resounding and capable of comforting God’s heart. I want to imitate Peter, that God may be glorified in me. Though my flesh is in extreme pain, it is still much less than what Peter went through being nailed upside down on the cross. Satan wishes to make me betray God by torturing my flesh, but God uses this opportunity to perfect my true love for Him. Today, I absolutely will not surrender to Satan and allow its plot to succeed! I want to live for the love of God!” All at once, I was no longer in any fear of dying; I became determined to give myself up to God entirely and I swore on my life that I would be loyal to God! Thereupon, I prayed to God: “Oh, Almighty God, I am a created being who worships You and obeys You as I should. I give You my life, and whether I live or die, I believe in You and love You!” I instantly felt a great easing of the pain in my body, and my entire body and mind had a feeling of lightening and release. At this time, I couldn’t help but hum in my heart a church hymn: “Today for the sake of God, suffer hardships; tomorrow inherit blessings of God. For the purpose of seeing the day when God gains glory, I’d give up my youth and my life. O! Love of God, enchants my heart. I feel hard to leave Him. I feel hard to be apart from Him. I will drink up the bitter cup. Rather live my life in bitterness. Humiliated or wronged, I’ll repay God’s love all my life” (“I Wish to See the Day God Gains Glory” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). The evil police bosses were completely exhausted from inflicting suffering on me, and they stood there not saying anything for a long time. In the end, at a loss at what to do, they snapped angrily at me: “You just wait!” Then they left. The other evil police stood around discussing together: “This woman’s so tough, no one can do anything with her. She’s tougher than Liu Hulan….”[a] At that point, I was stirred so much that I couldn’t stop my tears from flowing. God was victorious! If it hadn’t been for the words of Almighty God providing for me over and over, and if it hadn’t been for God sustaining me in secret, I would simply not have been able to stand firm. All glory and praise to Almighty God! In the end, the evil police locked me up in the detention house.
In the detention house, the evil police still weren’t willing to let it go, and they questioned me once every few days. Every time they questioned me, they made me sit in the interrogation room before a window with metal bars across it, and the moment they felt dissatisfied with my response, they would reach across and violently thrash my face or grab my hair and slam my head against the bars. Seeing that they still got nowhere, they became frenzied with rage. In the end, they realized that being hard on me was no use, so they switched to soft tactics and tried to entice and persuade me, saying: “Your kids and your husband are all waiting for you at home! And your husband pleaded with us on your behalf. Talk to us and you will soon be back and reunited with them.” These false words disgusted me and made me hate them so much that I asked in my heart for God to curse them. I despised this gang of base and shameless evil police. I made a resolve: “No matter what hand they play, I am not going to move an inch! In this life, no one can shake my determination to follow Almighty God!” In the end, the evil police had played all their cards, and so they kept me locked up for 40 days, fined me 2000 yuan and then released me.
Throughout my experiences, all along the way, I have come to a deep realization that it is entirely through God’s wondrous deeds and almighty power that someone like me—an ordinary country woman, who formerly had no insight or courage—can overcome several bouts of being tortured to confess and cruelly tormented and harmed by the CCP police, can see clearly the reactionary essence of the CCP government that stubbornly opposes God and wildly harms God’s chosen people, and can perceive how it deceives the public to endorse its own reputation and conceals its evil ways. In my practical experience, I have really come to appreciate that the authority and power of God’s words are so very great, that the vitality that God bestows on man is infinite and that it can defeat all the evil forces of Satan! In suffering, I perceived that it was God’s love that comforted and encouraged me, and it kept me from losing my way. No matter where I may be or what kind of circumstances I find myself in, God is always watching over me, and His love is with me always. It is my honor to be able to follow this practical, true God. That I was able to experience this kind of persecution and adversity to get a taste of God’s wondrousness, His wisdom and His almightiness is even more so my good fortune. From this day on, may I do my utmost to pursue the truth and achieve a true knowledge of God, love God till the end, and be unswerving in my loyalty!
a. Liu Hulan was a teenage female spy who worked for the Communists during China’s civil war in the 1940s. She did not survive the war, but was later touted as a symbol of sacrifice and courage by the Communist Party, and was praised as a heroine.
Persecution and Suffering Made Me Love God Even More
In experience, I have truly tasted that whatever God does is love to man. He allowed satan’s persecution to come upon me and it’s even more God’s extremely great love and salvation. Satan wanted to make me stay away from God through its arrest and persecution. Little did it know that its persecution not only couldn’t make me stay away from God, but instead it made me be more certain that Almighty God’s word is the truth, the way, and the life!
In Times of Trouble, God’s Word Provided Me With Encouragement
God deeply knew my suffering and always encouraged me through his words when I was most helpless, “Don’t be disheartened. Don’t be weak. I will reveal to you. It is not so smooth on the way to the kingdom. There is not so easy a thing to gain blessings in a breeze, is there? Today, everyone will have painful trials. Otherwise, your hearts of loving me will not be strengthened, and you will not have a true love for me. …” (from “The Forty-first Piece of Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh)
Sufferings and Trials—the Blessings of Being Favored
Pondering God’s words, I realized: What sufferings and trials accomplish is indeed God’s blessing and is God’s most practical life supply and watering to me. Now, although the words God bestows to me surpass those to the saints in the past generations, I still need to have faith and perseverance to inherit them, and should never bend or swerve in the tribulation but obey God’s manipulation and arrangement and accept God’s salvation.
Living Through Cruel Persecution Has Strengthened My Faith in God
In that most painful and difficult experience of my life, although I had pain and weakness and sometimes fell, God’s love had been accompanying me. When I was weak, God’s word inspired me and gave me faith and strength, making me break through the restraint of darkness and death. When satan carried out its schemes, it was God’s timely reminding and guidance that caused me to wake up from the dense fog, see through satan’s schemes and tricks, and stand testimony for God.